The hugging/venting thread

[Magnitude Zero]

Related. I'm taking a few days to sort myself out, I'll be back in a week at latest. See ya then.

Aww. Good luck man, hope you come back feeling better.

[Acsii]

Fuck my parents... I'm done with their shit

[Makkon]

ΛCSII, no need to be cryptic. Tell us what's going on, maybe someone can offer advice.

[Acsii]

Most people know what's going on but for those that don't...
I'm trans mtf and what to transition asap after school finishes... but my parents don't believe me...

[LoreRD]

Sorry, Makkon
I really didn't mean to imply anything negative about the musicians' character or musical skill, so I apologize to both MLR and the three musicians. This just wasn't the correct place for that.

@ΛCSII
*hugs*

Why wouldn't your parents believe you?

[Acsii]

They think because I'm on the internet too much that's created the idea in my head

[LoreRD]

I.... really don't know how to help with that
Only thing I'd suggest talking with them about it a lot, but I assume you've already done that.

[Acsii]

I'm scared to talk about it because my mum gets quite aggressively negative about it

[Alycs]

I understand parents being so mad. Frankly, I'm not sure what to say; most parents hold a certain "entitlement" over their children it seems, and won't allow themselves to ever be wrong about themselves or their kids. Hell, my dad almost blew a gasket when I tried to explain the brony fandom. I'd imagine this is a lot worse. I also know from being a Catholic that a lot of other Christian religions (and really any conservative sect) can be absolute assholes to anyone who they see as different, and seem to forget everything their religion says about being kind and loving when it comes to sexuality.

I don't really have any advice, but I know that you were seeing a psychologist, and most of the good ones understand things like this a lot better, and have a LOT of experience with explaining things like this to parents. I hope this one can help them understand you better, and we're all here for you even if they aren't.

[Pickslide1992]

Oh, that's a rough patch. I myself never had to deal with such issues, but I can sympathize. If these people were truly "Christian," love is what they'd be giving you instead of contempt. At least that's my philosophy on life (Treat people with respect and give them the benefit of the doubt).

I understand being a transgender can be a hassle even without the ridicule, but the best advice I can give you is hold your head up high and know that better times will come. Even when your own flesh and blood scorns you, remember you have us that will give you a shoulder to cry on, a pat on the back, maybe even a hug (Especially me, I'm a big hugger online or offline). Chin up and if this shit continues, feel free to message me and we can talk one on one.

[Acsii]

omg you guys are so nice ><
um pickslide can you add me on skype ep_ilogue

[Pickslide1992]

I think I already have you, man. I'll send you a message.

[Callenby]

Good luck, ΛCSII. I wish I could offer something in the way of advice, but I have no experience with the sort of thing that you're going through. Again, I wish you luck.

It's far less pressing, but there's still something that I'd like to get off my chest.

I have this friend that I met a few years ago in college. We found of that we have many of the same interests. She quickly became one of my best friends. We used to stay outside in the cold for hours just because we enjoyed talking to each other too much to leave. She's the type of person you talk with about anything. She's incredibly bright, kind, and can point out things I simply will not notice. I could confide in her like I could in few others and of all my friends she's one of the very few that I would call a kindred spirit. We have such similar goals, fears, flaws, and dispositions. In short, we understand each other.

A couple of years later I moved to another city, though my friend and I always kept in contact. Later, when I was traveling around England by myself we would talk and that made the trip much more bearable (normally I enjoy traveling but good god is it stressful when you have to do it solo). Recently, however, she's been replying far less often. It takes about a month for her to respond and two and a half months between replies I think is the record.

On top of that, she moved to a city very close to mine. A city that I just so happen to go to every couple of months when I visit my sister. Seems serendipitous, right? Well, every single time I've gone there I have told my friend in advance that I would be around, she says she's excited to see me again, and then...nothing. What always happens is I end up spending too much of my time there waiting around for a response and if one does come then it's well after I've already gone back. I haven't seen her in person since I left the city.

I miss her. I miss talking to her like I used to, but I've tried setting arrangements four or five times already. At this point I don't know if it's worth the effort to try anymore, and it kind of sucks to even have that thought. She openly admits to it being a problem and yet it persists. To try to be more understanding I told her it's alright even though I don't really think so. I'm guessing I probably should have said that instead.

This wouldn't bother me so much if she wasn't also one of my dearest friends, perhaps the dearest. I'm not upset, really. The closest thing I can think of is disappointment. It's like I'm losing a one-of-a-kind friend for absolutely no reason.

Okay, venting over. Sorry for the wall of text, but let me add that I really don't like going on the internet to complain. It's on every site you go to, I find it to mostly be counterproductive, and honestly there's very little for me to truly complain about in life. Besides, I certainly didn't join a music forum just to make you guys listen to me gripe about personal things. I'm making an exception in this case because she's the one I normally would have vented to about something.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

I'll come back early just to say this. Dude, that sucks. And I think a lot of people here get that, I've lost contact with people who used to mean the world to me before. I think the best thing for it is to just go and see her, take a full day if you have to. She's probably just really unsure of how to really 'talk' to you after so much time apart. I would be, I really need to actually see someone every so often to keep a close relationship with someone. She might not be the exact same as that, but you could see how she'd feel a little unsure, right?

The best way to resolve these things is to go see her, face to face. I'm sure things will be a lot easier once you two have spent some time together again.

Good luck, I mean it. I've been in your position before, so from the bottom of my heart. Good luck.

[topitmunkeydog]

i used to be embarassing as hell

[itroitnyah]

Haha, if she has a thing for cheesy gifts and stuff, you've got this in the bag

But on a serious note, I wish you the best of luck, many wishes and hopefully things go well for you! I'm sure she'll like the gifts.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Good luck man! I'd do that kinda thing, but I really can't find someone I have those kinda feelings for.

[Motivfs]

You sound just like me, I'm not anti-social, I can talk to everyone, anyone, and get well acquainted, but when it's someone I have a crush on, it's a whole different level for me, I consciously know I like her so I act all weird and crap.

The only thing I can say is, be yourself (the best you can), and if you REALLY feel it's the right time, go for it, let her know how you feel. However, if you rushed this idea for valentines day, and your not 100% sure it's the right time, I would honestly say step back, and wait for a better moment. The only reason I say this is because you are not 100% what her opinion of you is in terms of if she likes you or not (and I don't blame you, girls are like trying to read a book with no text).

Anywho, I hope this helped somewhat, good luck!

[topitmunkeydog]

lets not think about the past

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

heh, if cheesy irish love songs work for you then go right ahead XD

[topitmunkeydog]

Aw, they're just so lovely

[Conduit]

Good luck man, I wish I was in your position. There's really no girls I know I would date.

Remember the rule: You hesitate, you masterbate

Just be confident, ask her out on a simple date if you don't really feel up to telling her everything and then work from there.

[topitmunkeydog]

To you, and Mr. Bigglesworth, I'm sure the right person will come along sooner or later. My advice to you guys is wait for love to find you instead of going out and looking for it.

[topitmunkeydog]

I didn't do it...

I got involved a case of mistaken identity with the school administration and then I had two major tests so I was just like NOPE this is way too stressful.
She gave me one of these though (The Kim Jon Il one )

Maybe I'll try again tomorrow

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Yeah. Actually I've already kinda done so. We're going to go see Sigur Ros :3

To you, and Mr. Bigglesworth, I'm sure the right person will come along sooner or later. My advice to you guys is wait for love to find you instead of going out and looking for it.
Well, thanks to you guys for getting my confidence up! I am so going to do this! I believe in myself!

Thanks

wait...Sigur Ros!? TAKE ME WITH YOU D: