The hugging/venting thread

[Navron]

4th, you're definitely one of our more knowledgeable uses. You know mixing better than a lot of us, and your feedback in that area has definitely helped a lot of people improve, including myself.

[MRPPony]

4th, I see why you think that but as many have said, its not true. Im actually working on something as a thank you to everyone thats help me get to where I am now and yes youre on the top of he list, along with nine volt and kyoga. Sometimes people overlook comments by accident or has nothing to respond to you thinking a thank you isnt enough.

Basically, dont worry about it so much. We're greatful for your help. -brohugs-


Well Im gonna make a short vent. Being mentailly ill is a pain in the ass. I have a super stressful shitty job, ended up dropping out of college for that job, and now its coming back hard to the point that Im now taking Zoloft, an antidepressant. Well I must say thank you all. Cause coming here, just where ever, even if its something like pissing Lavender off and he ends up making you feel stupid (Im kidding, I wouldnt do that), is what is keeping me from going completely crazy. Also making it a goal to get back to school before the end of Jan, quit that job, and focus on whats really important. ò_ó

[vladnuke]

I failed calc. I have no chance of getting into any engineering proffesion. But I have absolutlely no idea what else is there. All my friends seem to have made it through. How though, I have no clue. I try to do the problems, but it's half of it's all greek to me. I have a tutor, and it seems like I can only get shit done if he's helping me. Too bad I only thought to get him half way through the year, so I don't know how to do half of the shit. I mean, fuck, my parents fucking despise me for this, I never failed a class before, and this calc shit is kicking my ass up and down the street. I feel like a fucking loser, and it's startimg to affect other areas of my life, I'm constantly haunted by this spectere of failure all the time. Not to mention that I'm also in a AP Physics class with no real teacher, just a computer program and a lesson plan. I had to take an incomplete because the fucking dean took his sweet time setting the shit up, by which I mean a whole goddamned month. I have no AP physics or calc credits, and I already put down ME in my apps.
I fucking hate my school life, the only little pleasure (read:small superiority) I get out of it is going to Film Production and teaching the plebian majority how to cut and paste in Final Cut. Mind you, those people had about as much experience with the program as I did, and I still figured the damn thing out in 5 seconds. I made them simple instructions on how to burn a dvd, they could not follow simple fucking instructions. I swear to Christ, if I make it through this year with my head still on my shoulders, it would be nothing short of holy intervention.

[itroitnyah]

I failed calc. I have no chance of getting into any engineering proffesion. But I have absolutlely no idea what else is there. All my friends seem to have made it through. How though, I have no clue. I try to do the problems, but it's half of it's all greek to me. I have a tutor, and it seems like I can only get shit done if he's helping me. Too bad I only thought to get him half way through the year, so I don't know how to do half of the shit. I mean, fuck, my parents fucking despise me for this, I never failed a class before, and this calc shit is kicking my ass up and down the street. I feel like a fucking loser, and it's startimg to affect other areas of my life, I'm constantly haunted by this spectere of failure all the time. Not to mention that I'm also in a AP Physics class with no real teacher, just a computer program and a lesson plan. I had to take an incomplete because the fucking dean took his sweet time setting the shit up, by which I mean a whole goddamned month. I have no AP physics or calc credits, and I already put down ME in my apps.
I fucking hate my school life, the only little pleasure (read:small superiority) I get out of it is going to Film Production and teaching the plebian majority how to cut and paste in Final Cut. Mind you, those people had about as much experience with the program as I did, and I still figured the damn thing out in 5 seconds. I made them simple instructions on how to burn a dvd, they could not follow simple fucking instructions. I swear to Christ, if I make it through this year with my head still on my shoulders, it would be nothing short of holy intervention.

My older brother failed precalc this year, but that's a shame that all of this is happening to you. Hopefully things get better

[SpyPie]

My Cat is Dying
He's 18, reaching the end of his life, probably has cancer.
While I'm worried about my Cat, I'm more worried about my mom, who's grandfather just passed a few weeks ago. She's under more stress,anger, and sadness than I've ever seen her in. Her safety is really important to me. All I've been trying to do this month is keep her company, try in some way to get stuff off her mind. Now it's starting to stress me out.

Bleh

[Acsii]

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

[vladnuke]

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

You have to be strong in these sorts of situations. Go talk to fellow transsexuals and get to know their story on coming out. That's all I can really say on the matter, being a male wasp.

Good luck

[Acsii]

Thanks vladnuke

[Pickslide1992]

Okay, recently my anxiety has been all over the place, more so at night. I was born with anxiety, and I'd like to think I have it under control during the day (Unless something stressful pops up out of the blue) but at night it comes full force. It robs me of my sleep, it makes me worry over every little thing (Even things that aren't there or exaggerations made in my mind). I worry that something's going to happen to me or my family and I'm constantly on alert (It doesn't help that two of my emergency room visits came out of the blue too). I'm afraid for my health and worry myself literally sick over the smallest things that are completely normal (And I assume they're a symptom of a debilitating disease). I have medicine for this, but frankly it's not working. It helps, but not to where I'm devoid of my anxious feelings.

Also, my folks have constant arguments with my little brother (Who's 15, BTW). He's a smart guy, but perhaps too smart for his own good. Maybe it's the aforementioned anxiety talking, but I have nightmares of the situation escalating to the point of physical violence or death. Again, maybe my mind is making unrealistic situations and I'm foolish enough to believe them, but I don't want any hostilities. Call me weak or call me a pussy, but I'm a pacifist; I hate fights. I realize they're important to a healthy relationship, but it still hurts me to hear/see this first hand. Stuff like this honestly makes me feel like crying; something I feel I need to do.

[MRPPony]

Okay, recently my anxiety has been all over the place, more so at night. I was born with anxiety, and I'd like to think I have it under control during the day (Unless something stressful pops up out of the blue) but at night it comes full force. It robs me of my sleep, it makes me worry over every little thing (Even things that aren't there or exaggerations made in my mind). I worry that something's going to happen to me or my family and I'm constantly on alert (It doesn't help that two of my emergency room visits came out of the blue too). I'm afraid for my health and worry myself literally sick over the smallest things that are completely normal (And I assume they're a symptom of a debilitating disease). I have medicine for this, but frankly it's not working. It helps, but not to where I'm devoid of my anxious feelings.

We're almost on the same boat really. My anxiety finally hit its boiling point and I started having panic attacks at random during anytime of the day. Half of my body would go numb (symptom of stroking), my chest would hurt thinking I'm having a heart attack, my legs would numb up, I shake, fear of dying, blah blah blah. Here's what you can do:

Firstly, your physical health is fine (I haven't examined you but it mostly sounds like everything's mental) and this is something you should remember. Its obvious that the mind is powerful, but until something like this happens we don't realize how powerful it really is.

Next, focus on breathing from your diaphragm and breath in slowly, hold, then breath out slowly. Keep doing this and your anxiety symptoms will start to lessen a bit.

Next, put on some music or do/think of something that calms you down. For me, I just turn on MLP, LPS, AVGN, TBFP, you get the idea and try your best to keep 100% of your focus on that and forcefully ignore your symptoms.

Something my mother (a counselor) told me to do when she saw me panicking for the first time almost about to run to the ER is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). In short, what you do is try to identify what caused the sudden change in mood and anxiety, write it down (or remember it, I'm more comfortable with remembering than writing), then think of a rational response to it. Rinse and repeat whenever your anxiety seems to strike.



That's mainly just for helping your anxiety. As for the situation with your family, I'm not entirely sure. I know its personal so I wont ask you what its about, but if it makes you feel any better my family is the same way. Before my parents split up and just worked out their differences over the years, they could not go a day without fighting with one another and it worried me the most because both of them had a job that requires them to carry a firearm. If their argument ever got violent, there was no doubt something bad would happen to them and maybe my brother or myself in the crossfire.
However despite them fighting for almost more than a year, it never turned physical or life-threatening.
The only thing you can do is talk to them individually and have them work out their problems civilly. Its not something that can be dealt with overnight, 1 week, or even a month but it will gradually ease itself. I was a momma's boy so I took her side which I think was why their argument lasted that long but after seeing my dad breakdown and cried, I got non-bias real quick.

Best of luck to you, Pickslide.

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

Oh you're TS? O///O -nosebleed-
-ahem-
Yeah sorry I can't help you out anymore than what vladnuke mentioned. I'd say keep it secret and ignore that "tearing you apart" feeling but that's coming from a shut-in whom rarely talks to people regardless if its family or friends. Although I've talked to a few TS on 99chan and they said they either never told their family or told them after they moved out. Just saying there's plenty of people you can talk to so you don't have to go at this alone.

[MRPPony]

My Cat is Dying
He's 18, reaching the end of his life, probably has cancer.
While I'm worried about my Cat, I'm more worried about my mom, who's grandfather just passed a few weeks ago. She's under more stress,anger, and sadness than I've ever seen her in. Her safety is really important to me. All I've been trying to do this month is keep her company, try in some way to get stuff off her mind. Now it's starting to stress me out.

Bleh

Did she ever cry or do something to relieve her stress/sadness? Something tragic like that happening only gets worse if you repress it and sadly does effect others around her. I can ask my mother about what you two should try doing since she's a counselor if you'd like me to.

[Pickslide1992]

I'm glad you relate, MRP. I went to the hospital twice for things I almost could have died from if I didn't go at all, so I guess they turned me into the wuss I am today. xD

Seriously though, at least I know I'm not alone here. You have no idea how grateful I am.

[Acsii]

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

Oh you're TS? O///O -nosebleed-
-ahem-
Yeah sorry I can't help you out anymore than what vladnuke mentioned. I'd say keep it secret and ignore that "tearing you apart" feeling but that's coming from a shut-in whom rarely talks to people regardless if its family or friends. Although I've talked to a few TS on 99chan and they said they either never told their family or told them after they moved out. Just saying there's plenty of people you can talk to so you don't have to go at this alone.

Yea the thing is wanna start transition ASAP though :/ I'm already about to go on anti-androgens hehe nosebleed

[Motivfs]

WJFOIQ@$_)UGR(_HJ(_@$%#^$%THyj I AM MAKING A SAD SONG YET IT I WANT TO MAKE A MORE SOPHISTICATED MELODY AND IT TURNS OUT HAPPY?!!!!?

What is this I don't even, I've never been able to make a happy beat my god! WHY NOW? BECAUSE NOW THAT IT'S HAPPY I WANT TO CONTINUE IT BUT I WANT TO COMPLETE MY SAD SONG WHICH IS A REMIX AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#$%5y6

/End frustration.

[Triple_B]

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

Holy relate able. (How to spell words?)

Anyway; I know this EXACT FEELING.

I came out about being TS accidently, after having the same worries you're having right now; about transitioning and what my family would think. It was on Mother's Day. Two weeks after my grandfather died.

I'll suffice it to say that I live with a completely different parent now, 80+ miles away from my mother, in a basement, with no car, no job, being a drop-out, and literally one single person in the world who gives two shits. And it is not the other "parent."

Now; that's not very reassuring, I can imagine. But this is a good news & bad news kind of thing. That was the bad news.

Good news is; I accept myself as a person a hell of a lot more. I mean, sure; I have to hide as the man I was assumed to be at birth while in this itsy-bitsy hick town in rural America; but I know in my heart that Tucker was an elaborate facade, and Rachel is who I've really been underneath all these years. It being known, by any other person, is an immense weight off of your shoulders.

Now; I'm 17, I have less than a year left of this hell and then I'm gone, so if you're younger, I'd recommend waiting a while on the coming out, at least to your family.

I can completely understand wanting to transition ASAP. I got lucky... kind of. I rolled my car, and then tried to kill myself afterward because I didn't want to deal with what my family would do, so I got put into a mental hospital for a little while in a much, much, much larger city, and the doctors were actually experienced with Transsexual/Transgender individuals. (Ft. Collins, Colorado, Mountain Peak Wellness Center) My assigned doctor, who is now my once-a-month psychiatrist visit, prescribed me Anti-Androgens out of the blue. He suggested it. I wasn't going to ask him for a month or two, trying to get to know each other better; but he beat me to the punch.

Now; I can tell you, that if your doctor does not think you are serious, they will not, under any circumstances, prescribe medication for you to being transitioning. They will not. And they will tell all of their doctor buddies, too, so switching is useless. I'd make sure you honestly want to do this, first. (It was a no-brainer for me, but some people have issues with that)

I can also tell you, that when you do start medication, they will not work immediately. Anti-androgens, have a time-frame of seeing at least some results, anywhere from 2 weeks, to 6 months. (I ended up about 3 weeks before results showed) Estrogen is varied, based on the specific medication, dosage, and the person. Anti-Androgens are the same, truthfully, but not near as varied.

Third; if you think you might be having an adverse reaction to your medication, TELL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. Not joking. This is true for any medication, though.

I suppose the last bit of Advice right now that I can give you;

Do not forget who you are.

It's easy to get lost in the changing of identities. If you lose sense of who you are, who you really are; then there isn't anything. No where to go, no one to turn to. Because if you don't know you, no one else does either.

Another important thing to remember is that someone, somewhere, (or many someone's in lots of places) will try to change you. To keep you where you were. To make you stay the little boy or girl they thought they'd had. Sometimes these will be friends, sometimes they will be family, sometimes they will be relative strangers. These people cannot win if you are to ever going to be the person you know you are.

The question of who that person is... Is up to you.

Not sure that all made sense; but good luck friend. You'll need it.

You need to talk, I'd be very hapt to hear from you;

Skype: fox2469101
email:[email protected]

[BeaM]

Well, I guess I'm just paranoid. At school and stuff, a lot of people say "Hi, BeaM!" and stuff like that but I'm worried that secretly, they hate me behind my back. It's a stupid thought but I'm really shy/socially awkward so I tend to assume the worst in a situation. I guess I just wanted to vent that I feel lonely and wish I had more people to talk to and stuff (Goddamn, I'm horrible at venting")

[Acsii]

I guess I'll put my venting here...
So some of you may know that I'm transsexual... Being ts really is tearing me apart because I want to start transitioning however I haven't told my family... And I'm not sure if I want to anytime soon because my mum acted really badly when I told her about sexuality... And to make it harder one of my neighbours came out to being ts which means it'll make it more likely for them to think I'm lying or something weird... It's just fucking pissing me off...

Holy relate able. (How to spell words?)

Anyway; I know this EXACT FEELING.

I came out about being TS accidently, after having the same worries you're having right now; about transitioning and what my family would think. It was on Mother's Day. Two weeks after my grandfather died.

I'll suffice it to say that I live with a completely different parent now, 80+ miles away from my mother, in a basement, with no car, no job, being a drop-out, and literally one single person in the world who gives two shits. And it is not the other "parent."

Now; that's not very reassuring, I can imagine. But this is a good news & bad news kind of thing. That was the bad news.

Good news is; I accept myself as a person a hell of a lot more. I mean, sure; I have to hide as the man I was assumed to be at birth while in this itsy-bitsy hick town in rural America; but I know in my heart that Tucker was an elaborate facade, and Rachel is who I've really been underneath all these years. It being known, by any other person, is an immense weight off of your shoulders.

Now; I'm 17, I have less than a year left of this hell and then I'm gone, so if you're younger, I'd recommend waiting a while on the coming out, at least to your family.

I can completely understand wanting to transition ASAP. I got lucky... kind of. I rolled my car, and then tried to kill myself afterward because I didn't want to deal with what my family would do, so I got put into a mental hospital for a little while in a much, much, much larger city, and the doctors were actually experienced with Transsexual/Transgender individuals. (Ft. Collins, Colorado, Mountain Peak Wellness Center) My assigned doctor, who is now my once-a-month psychiatrist visit, prescribed me Anti-Androgens out of the blue. He suggested it. I wasn't going to ask him for a month or two, trying to get to know each other better; but he beat me to the punch.

Now; I can tell you, that if your doctor does not think you are serious, they will not, under any circumstances, prescribe medication for you to being transitioning. They will not. And they will tell all of their doctor buddies, too, so switching is useless. I'd make sure you honestly want to do this, first. (It was a no-brainer for me, but some people have issues with that)

I can also tell you, that when you do start medication, they will not work immediately. Anti-androgens, have a time-frame of seeing at least some results, anywhere from 2 weeks, to 6 months. (I ended up about 3 weeks before results showed) Estrogen is varied, based on the specific medication, dosage, and the person. Anti-Androgens are the same, truthfully, but not near as varied.

Third; if you think you might be having an adverse reaction to your medication, TELL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. Not joking. This is true for any medication, though.

I suppose the last bit of Advice right now that I can give you;

Do not forget who you are.

It's easy to get lost in the changing of identities. If you lose sense of who you are, who you really are; then there isn't anything. No where to go, no one to turn to. Because if you don't know you, no one else does either.

Another important thing to remember is that someone, somewhere, (or many someone's in lots of places) will try to change you. To keep you where you were. To make you stay the little boy or girl they thought they'd had. Sometimes these will be friends, sometimes they will be family, sometimes they will be relative strangers. These people cannot win if you are to ever going to be the person you know you are.

The question of who that person is... Is up to you.

Not sure that all made sense; but good luck friend. You'll need it.

You need to talk, I'd be very hapt to hear from you;

Skype: fox2469101
email:[email protected]

Wow...
Uh thanks for all that...
At the moment I am of the same age as you... It's really warming to know that here are actually quite the number of people who are related to me... It makes me more confident
I'll add you on Skype when I get onto my computer and I'll be happy to chat to you and I might possibly drop you an email too...

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Well, spose I should update on my previous vent.

I'm doing pretty well now. I'm getting used to being sociable with people I don't know, and my self confidence has been improving a fair bit lately. I'm also gonna stop dilly-dallying about my music with people, it's been put out in the open already, so going back to hiding it would be silly.

So yeah, I'm doing better.

[Pickslide1992]

Update on my night anxiety thing: It's still here, just not as strong. I'm afraid it's something I have to deal with. It's best I try to occupy my mind.

[Watashig]

Wow, it's good to hear that people are getting better! <3

All the hugs <3

[Acsii]

So yea I was getting all happy and stuff... and now I'm in tears because I just realised I'll never be able to be a real girl

[itroitnyah]

Don't they have gender change operations or something, ΛCSII? Although if they do, they're probably incredibly expensive

[vladnuke]

Man, all I've got is this persistent insomnia from after the trip. It'll subside tommorow hopefully.
Big sleepy Russian bear hugs all around, bros and ladies.
Now time to try to get my self-inflicted three hours of sleep.

[Pickslide1992]

I know that feel on the insomnia end. Usually I fall asleep anywhere from 1-3 A.M. and wake up around 9 A.M. on both.

[Acsii]

Don't they have gender change operations or something, ΛCSII? Although if they do, they're probably incredibly expensive

That and it doesn't completely make you a real girl