<original, pony, rap> Sensations

[MALevolence]

so heres one of my newest raps. go ahead and check it out, tell me what you think!

[bigBerd]

Let's give this a listen.

* Alright, first off, I love the alliterations. Keep doing those, those are ill.
* And rightly second, you are not the Undercover Brother. Please stop claiming to be.
* The hook is a little long, and more than a little wordy. (But that's okay, rappers don't need to do hooks.) (That's what deejays and hypemen are for.)
* You straight up murder shit in the 2nd verse. Like, it's still some lovey-dovey shit but it all comes together so good that it's badass by default.
* Flow -- yours needs work. Put more emphasis on words that need it. Talk like you want to be heard. Make that beat your bitch. Right now that synth melody (0:45 and elsewhere) is kicking your ass.
* Real talk, the first rhymes in the third verse reminds me of a real similar rhyme I spit a long-ass time ago when I was sorta getting into writing. Keep it up.

So that's what I think. Oh, and the kinda makes you sound like "one of those" bronies, if you know what I mean. (shiftyeyes.jpg) Not that there's anything wrong with that. But like... be careful who you show this too lol.

[MALevolence]

* And rightly second, you are not the Undercover Brother. Please stop claiming to be.
* The hook is a little long
* Flow -- yours needs work. Put more emphasis on words that need it. Talk like you want to be heard. Make that beat your bitch. Right now that synth melody (0:45 and elsewhere) is kicking your ass.
* Real talk, the first rhymes in the third verse reminds me of a real similar rhyme I spit a long-ass time ago when I was sorta getting into writing.
Oh, and the kinda makes you sound like "one of those" bronies, if you know what I mean. (shiftyeyes.jpg) Not that there's anything wrong with that. But like... be careful who you show this too lol.

overall, thanks man, i really appreciate the feedback! you hit some nice points too so:
replies to specific comments:
prove me not to be an undercover brother, and ill stop saying it
i never intended for a hook, those lines just felt right, so i repeated em. but i understand.
emphasis, yeah dude im working on it, trust me. everyone all like "you need emotion" and i feel like im putting it in there, but other people arent hearing it. so im working on it.
cool beans man, ive gotten a lot of people relating to my stuff and i love when that happens.
hey, i put it in the description that it was honestly just me getting behind the emotion in the music. i can definitely say that im not that kind of brony, but i have nothing against them. and people are allowed to make whatever judgments of me that they want.
so again sir, thank you very much. its nice to hear these things so i know what i can work on, or at least keep in mind.

[bigBerd]

You're this guy?

[MALevolence]

i could be. you have no idea O.o
(no, no im not. but hey, im chill like him, we got a lot in common)