<wip><Rap><original> <pony> Egghead's Guide to Rap

[Mediocre Brony]

Hello peoples! I am trying to put myself out there in out community as a brony rapper! So check out this song if you are interested. I used a Mf Doom instrumental and played with it a bit to fit me more. Enjoy! Oh, and if you would please comment and give me some tips and pointers, maybe what you liked and things I can improve upon. Thanks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s09Palr8kSY&feature=plcp

[MALevolence]

hmm, well, i think youve got a solid start here. unfortunately i couldnt hear any emotion. just straight lyrics. you need to put some emphasis on the right words as well as add a tone to the beat. without it, its just words in a musical fashion, not music.
it sounds like you could do some nice breakbeat, quick paced rapping. however, like i said, needs emotion. rhymes were definitely par leaning towards the better side.
as far as premise, it works. heard it before, but this is still a nice twist on it. not bad there.
overall, not bad. honestly, the only reason i wasnt a fan was cause i didnt feel any emotion, and thats really all based on tone. improve that a bit, and i think youve got yourself a nice hit here.

[Kushy Kallous]

Nice job on the flow, nailed a solid rap.

But like Mal said, there was lack of presence. : D Possibly work on being a bit more hyped.
Even the softer raps have a strong enough voice to be remembered.

[Mediocre Brony]

Thanks for the feedback! I have some rerecording to do and hopefully I can emphasize my inflection and put some emotion into it. I will throw that up here when i'm done, thanks again!