<WIP><Pony><Mashup><Remix><Orchestral>Rainbow Factory BGM

[Armystuntman]

A bunch of songs of mine that I'm working on a "BGM" based on the song "Rainbow Factory" and partially it's fanfic's counterpart setting.
Two songs for inside the factory.
Big Space Empty Place
Inside the Factory
Random actiony cutscene music.
Panic (1)

And an incomplete cutscene music based on the last chapter of the fic
Clear, Fly, Fall, Complete (WIP Part 1)

I'm still an amateur at music, and no one ever criticizes my music on youtube, so if it's riddled with mistakes, do point them out D: I need to learn, badly.

[Sonarch]

I'm no good at criticism, and I don't know enough about orchestral to really offer much help, but I think your songs are really good! I'd love to be able to download them.

[Dr_Dissonance]

The first one is pretty good on its own. You could leave that as is if you wanted and it would work! But to improve it, I'd look into really utilising the harmony some more. You do it quite well at the start with what I think is a harp. You create this very nice counterpoint and just general interest in the piece with it, but that same niceness disappears the further into it we go.
I'd also look at orchestration more, but specifically putting more instruments on one line. I don't think you need to add any more lines, but instead add more instruments to certain ones. Some lines sound a bit sparse because only a solo instrument is playing it, when it would work better with multiple instruments.

The second piece sounds awfully dry. That Tuba in particular sounds like it's in a dainty room, instead of a factory. But good use of instrumentation. With the first piece, lines sounded dry due to lack of instruments. With this one, it's the lack of reverb.
Also, considering it's a factory setting, it needs more factory stuff. Some machinery used as percussion, a glockenspiel, a contrabassoon parping with the Tuba, or on its own! Listen to DK64 Frantic Factory and Banjo-Tooie Grunty Industries to see what I mean!

The third piece needs a lot more presence in the bass. If you listen to my rendition of Rainbow Factory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IstfVX31vHU you will find that there's a lot of use of low brass, especially at 0.46, which is exactly what your piece needs. More bass!

The final WIP has reverb problems again. Would be great with some/more reverb!

Overall I think you just need to use more instruments, or fill up the lines more.
Good job overall!

[Sonarch]

^That was exactly what I wanted to say!


Not actually. But that was the kind of criticism I wish I could give. Dr. D knows his orchestral. And music in general.

[MRPPony]

Hmm...I'm not entirely sure what Rainbow Factory is so I'll have to look into that. Sorry, so instead I'll just give my own thoughts about this on just the tracks itself.

Big Space Empty Place: I think this just sounds amazing. This ended up making me think about Traverse Town, like a really dark and morbid design for it. I guess Rainbow Factory is a game? so its a pretty good and seamless loop.
One thing I would suggest is add a slight solo part around 0:50, maybe of a cello since it has a dark feel to it unless it solos then it sounds like "some bit of hope." If that makes any sense?
Short: Add a solo cello part at 0:50 lol. I think it would sound amazing. Not a Violin, it would totally kill the mood.

Inside the Factory: Sounds pretty good, cept its way too similar to 'Big Space Empty Place.' Maybe the idea was to possibly make it like two parts (part A/part B), and if that's the case its a nice variation for it. It sounds like it, but not exactly like it. Although if that's not the case, I think you should try this again. Its possible to still use the same melody but make the song sound completely different and give off a different color than orange (thank you synesthesia). You could possibly try it in a different key? Or change the tempo to something faster? But in the end, its what you want to do.

Panic: Oh...well there ya go lol. Sorry I'm pretty much critiquing as I'm listening to your songs. Before I was going on about making it sound different by changing this and that, and you changed the tempo for this and instantly it changed to more of a red-orange, tense feel. I think you should add more notes for the double bass. That will give it a bit more depth and give it more of a 'heavy burden' feel.

Clear, Fly, Fall, Complete: Using the same melody but changing things up a bit. I'm not sure what its like in the game, but since you said, "last chapter" I kinda assumed it would feel more of a closure type of feel. This seems like a continuation of Panic, but since I don't know what happens or how it should feel, I'll just say this is sounding pretty good so far.

For all of them, maybe lower the reverb a bit to make each nose sound a bit 'tighter' and not drag. They sound like they blend a bit too much and sounds a bit weird. Sorry but if that doesn't make sense, let me know to reword it. I was in an orchestra for 4 years when I was living in Virginia and that was one of our problems our conductor would tell us.

Anyway, I hope this crude explanation is good and hopefully it was something useful for you. ^_^

[Sonarch]

Hmm...I'm not entirely sure what Rainbow Factory is so I'll have to look into that.

I see you're new, so, welcome!
Please allow me to give you an overly explanatory explanation on Rainbow Factory, since all this junk about the fandom is something I happen to know about, more so than music. Rainbow Factory is a song WoodenToaster made for a toastbeard music event. This song got really popular across the fandom and has been remixed nearly as much as Winter Wrap Up. The lyrics are slightly dark, and a subsequently dark fanfic was written based on the backstory and lyrics that tells of the real way rainbow are made in equestria. The original song is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRx_iXgLAyw

Armystuntman did his songs as if the story were being made into a game, and they would be the musical score. The songs tend to draw a lot from the original, which may be why the first two sound similar. I do like your critique though, you interpreted a lot from the songs.

And now i'm just typing stuff. I'm sorry if you actually read my entire response.

[Armystuntman]

The first one is pretty good on its own. You could leave that as is if you wanted and it would work! But to improve it, I'd look into really utilising the harmony some more. You do it quite well at the start with what I think is a harp. You create this very nice counterpoint and just general interest in the piece with it, but that same niceness disappears the further into it we go.
I'd also look at orchestration more, but specifically putting more instruments on one line. I don't think you need to add any more lines, but instead add more instruments to certain ones. Some lines sound a bit sparse because only a solo instrument is playing it, when it would work better with multiple instruments.

Sadly, I tend to try to use as little instruments as possible in my songs, since I'm still used to using MIDIs, where I used to assign every instrument with a "Duty" rather then letting multiple instruments play the same thing. Too many solo's backed by another instrument basically. This is a bad personal habit, but I'm still trying to get over that. Thanks for reminding me, though :3
(Although, at the time I thought that having one instrument play while being backed by another instrument gave a sad, alone feel, which I wanted to portray in the first song. Apparently I was wrong.)

The second piece sounds awfully dry. That Tuba in particular sounds like it's in a dainty room, instead of a factory. But good use of instrumentation. With the first piece, lines sounded dry due to lack of instruments. With this one, it's the lack of reverb.

The final WIP has reverb problems again. Would be great with some/more reverb!

Sadly, I'm short on high quality instruments with in-built reverb, and I'm not sure at the moment on how to force an instrument to have reverb that isn't built in. That's the problem with the Sontania soundfont. Brilliant instruments, but jesus christ is it weird. There's almost no reverb in it, and I have to stretch out all the 'staccato' notes all over the place so they don't stop abruptly, making it pretty hard to compose with, and apparently with a bad result none the less. I guess I could try find some free instruments with in-built reverb, or bang my head by rendering each instrument/channel and trying to reverb every channel and making a big mess overall.
I could use a lower quality soundfont set that I had before, but it lacks in staccatos and stuff, but at least it has in-built reverb. I've been at a puzzle at this and I still keep switching between the soundfonts which sound so horribly different. I've even made a video asking on which soundfont I should use, which can be found here.
Soundfont Tests with some random song i made
I personally was never too disturbed by the reverb, but now that you put it that way...It does.

Also, considering it's a factory setting, it needs more factory stuff. Some machinery used as percussion, a glockenspiel, a contrabassoon parping with the Tuba, or on its own! Listen to DK64 Frantic Factory and Banjo-Tooie Grunty Industries to see what I mean!

I've looked everywhere for 'machine' and 'clanging' instruments and I can't find any. Any free ones, anyway. I'm a freebies kinda guy I guess D:
I'll listen to those as examples, although I wanted to portray a sense of "Worried but alone" rather then a entirely comical Wacky Factory. (Ha ha, if you get the reference.)

The third piece needs a lot more presence in the bass. If you listen to my rendition of Rainbow Factory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IstfVX31vHU you will find that there's a lot of use of low brass, especially at 0.46, which is exactly what your piece needs. More bass!

I really don't know what to say here...I mean, I've haven't used brass to the maximum there, but... I'm confused D:

Overall I think you just need to use more instruments, or fill up the lines more.
Good job overall!

Thank you! Although it's a personal pain to manage a lot of instruments, I guess I should stop being lazy and go further

[Dr_Dissonance]

Lack of reverb

Here's a free reverb you can use!
http://dasample.com/products/glaceverb/

I've looked everywhere for 'machine' and 'clanging' instruments

Here's a .wav of some clanging for you!
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?3gnoxhkgpp9vp4c

I really don't know what to say here...I mean, I've haven't used brass to the maximum there, but... I'm confused D:

Okay, so at the moment the piece is good, but needs more 'oomph'. That oomph can be achieved by adding more bass instruments, such as the cellos, double basses, bassoons, trombones, etc. Low brass was just a suggestion.

[Armystuntman]

Doc, you're one hell of a nice guy. Without the hell part of course :3
As for you last thingy, I get what you mean now. I shouldn't be afraid to throw in low pitched instruments playing the same thing. "Thanks for the advice, Maurice." (San Andreas joke if you don't get it.)
But seriously, I'm glad I'm actually getting told what to fix in my songs for once It really helps.

[MRPPony]

Hmm...I'm not entirely sure what Rainbow Factory is so I'll have to look into that.

I see you're new, so, welcome!
Please allow me to give you an overly explanatory explanation on Rainbow Factory...
And now i'm just typing stuff. I'm sorry if you actually read my entire response.

Lol yep, and thanks for the info. I should give some pony original a shot. I mainly stick with EDM instrumentals since I'm terrible with words, as you can plainly tell, and also can't sing but maybe if i auto-tune/efx my voice enough, it'll sound good hehe.

[Sonarch]

Hey, instrumentals can be pony too, if your song is inspired by a pony or a pony story or something. Post it up whenever you make something, I'd love to hear it.

Related to the original topic, make sure you post it whenever you make changes to you orchestral stuff, Armystuntman. I'd love to hear the imrpovements!