by Doctor Science » 22 Jul 2012 17:16
Wow, this sounds really epic!
Disclaimer: I don't have a huge collection of great music that I've made, so I am by no means an expert, but I do want to try and help!
Here are my thoughts:
I really like the glissandi and rapid moving lower strings; they make the piece very creepy and tense. For the most part, I really liked your use of snare drum, although in the sections like 1:31, I think I would like to hear the accents a little more and I thought the volume of the accents was very inconsistent. The bass drum strikes are nice and really help to boost the low piano hits, but overall I think I would like to hear more bass drum, especially in conjunction with the snare-heavy areas, and maybe some timpani and cymbals to add more percussive flavor to the piece. In sections like 1:07, I think you could make the piano a bit louder, the low strings aren't changing up very much. The use of brass in this seemed to be focused in the middle and lower ranges and very soft and legato; I think the piece would benefit from some higher trumpets and horns and varying articulations. Letting the brass take the roles of the strings in some sections would add some interest. At places like 0:06 and 5:02, the harp comes in a bit too loud in comparison to the piano in my opinion. Loved the choral section! I don't think the transition at 5:08 makes a lot of sense, I would suggest expanding that a bit. I like the final piano/bass drum hit, but the low piano seems to drone on a little longer than it should.
Overall, while I really like the sound and feel you've achieved with this, I think it is a little too dry. The melodic sections are repeated several times and are of the form ABAC, never altered in the middle or differently concluded. Too best improve this, I just think you should just change things up a bit! Mess with the melodies, switch out the instruments, change the articulations, just keep things interesting.
I liked your style a lot, and I will definitely have to check out more of your music!