The hugging/venting thread

[Pickslide1992]

I am completely sick and tired of dealing with melodramatic sons of bitches. I know "All the world's a stage" but that's no reason to act like you're on the set of The Young and the Restless. If you don't hear from me in a while, I'll be in jail for killing these hams.

Okay, maybe I need to pull myself together and explain a few things before I even attempt to go on a homicidal rampage that'll make Cupcakes look tame. Anyone been in a situation where you drink the last soda/eat the last leftover/etc. and your roommate/brother/sister/whoever decided to give you a verbal tsunami because of it? Yeah, that's it. Not to sound like an ass, but you can buy more. A 12 pack of Pepsi doesn't cost 3 bucks, so unless it's the last of something incredibly rare and elusive, do NOT come crying to me about being a cheap glutton.

I forgot to mention I have a bit of a small anger problem. A lot of stuff I can deal with, yes, but there are a few things that'll send me flying off the handle, and melodramatic hams are one of those, especially ones who make a big deal out of nothing. I can't stand it, I either have to stoop to his/her level or walk away. It's a loaded situation: either way there's a bullet in the chamber and I'm going to get my head blown off.

Any and all consideration is appreciated. I need it before I do something I'll regret.

[Freewave]

drama is a no-winner man. best is to walk away from silly stuff. you wouldn't be the first person to have a jerk roommate so if that's the situation either work it out when things are calmer or look for a different roomie. I've had plenty of roommates that didn't work out and a few that did and it's best to figure that out earlier rather then later.

[senntenial]

I just spent 2 hours rendering out a visualisation, then another 2 hours uploading to youtube... to realise when exporting I put in "5:06" instead of "6:06" for duration time.
waesrtgfyhujwds
1 minute chopped off.
Gotta render it all out again.
Ugh. though all this sounds trivial compared to some of the other stuff you guys have been going through

Also, drama is a no winner. Best thing is to play cool and lay low!

[vladnuke]

I never though I'd feel the need to write in this. I'll be as honest as possible.
Everyone keeps praising my sound design, but I don't see anything new in what sounds I make. It feels like the only thing you can do to your sounds, is to take a waveform, and then pass it through a lowpass filter. bam, nothing creative. that's not my main issue though. My main issue is, that I feel like the worst musician ever. I know that I'm a horrible person for saying this, but I hate it, when someone newer to music than me, makes something better than what I made. I can't enjoy new people's tracks, and am nitpicking, like "the hat here is 0.1 db too loud" or " needs better mixing". And when it comes to music that I make, I can't make melodies at all. My best song, which I'm still kind of proud of is basically only a cliched electro house sounding pattern (I've found myself abusing patterns that are on one pitch for a dotted half note, and only have other pitches in the last quarter note) and the chord progression was taken DIRECTLY from the original song it was a remix of. I am very jealous of people who can make stuff sound right while I can't. I can't determine if a song is offkey, because dissonance sounds as good to me as consonance. I am mean to people on irc just because. I also am extremely insecure. I remember hating d-notive's songs because they were so good compared to mine and I though he was a newbie, which I am VERY ashamed of.

Oh Bart. :c I don't know if it helps, but I'm guilty of those very same things often too, and I hate it as well. I keep putting people down in my head over the most ridiculous things, trying to convince myself that I'm so much better than them because they're just starting out or something, yet whenever I look back at myself I don't see anything to be proud of, or at least feel remotely happy about. And I'm not proud of this at all. The only thing I've found helpful is to ask around and try to learn from what I envy, make an effort to swallow all those hard feelings, and try to turn those "I'll never be this good" feelings into fuel to make something that compares.

Also, I've been feeling a little... boxed, in regards to the music and sounds I make. As of lately, I've been feeling that I just keep following the same recipe over and over again, and it's nothing fresh nor exciting. I don't know if this is what you meant at the beginning of your paragraph, but I've been wanting to branch out for the longest time. That's why I started seeking out collabs; I'm sure we can all learn from each other.

I know those kinds of thoughts are poison, and can leave you bitter and kind of estranged, but I'm sure if we all make an effort to ask for help and help in return, there won't be any need to feel that way anymore. I hope.

Every time I feel that way, I stop what I'm doing, close the .flp and open a new one. I've realized that anything that I do will be derived from one place or another, so may as well accept that fact. Also, melody comes from a vigorous application of music theory, scaling, stuff like that. My balloon party track has only octave shifts over a basic C scale, but it's done in a different way. Everything in music has been created, so all that's left to do is to beat it until it breaks. Sometimes, all we need to do is wail into a mic and get angry at a guitar (or whatever you have lying around) until it screams for help.---> http://soundcloud.com/vladnuke/no-nonononononononono

[colortwelve]

Mother of Celestia, Vlad...
I thought you said you were ashamed of that 'song.'

[vladnuke]

Mother of Celestia, Vlad...
I thought you said you were ashamed of that 'song.'

I am, that's the point. Sometimes you need to just yell into a mike and play badly just so you can get warmed up to play some thing nice.

[Fimbulin]

Finally got my laptop shipment sent off for repairs. Turns out that our FedEx here is a third party company that doesn't accept RMA dropoffs unless they've already been stickered and shipped. If any of you know what northern Nevada is like, there's no other shipping place near here for over 150 miles. Luckily I had family in Utah over the weekend that got a FedEx center over there to print the sticker and "ship" my laptop, and I got my laptop dropped off today finally.

I guess this wasn't a vent post, but I did go through quite a bit of frustration getting this sorted out. I'll get my laptop back in a couple weeks, so I will not have any music ready for anything scheduled this month. In fact, I haven't made anything for this fandom ever because fate frowns on me!

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

Sorry to bother y'all again, but I wanna throw another textwall at you. I guess I might be looking for advice here, in case anyone could offer any about this, but to be honest I don't think there's much anyone can do about this.


So my bestest friend ever. He's an awesome, caring, strong, wise guy. He's someone people can always count on, he's smart, and he can always see things from perspectives most people don't, and he often has words of advice (and an anecdote) for people who seek them. He's had quite the life; he's had so many things happen to him it's just amazing, both good and bad. Hell, even at his 20 years I'd dare say he has seen and lived more than many people do in their lives.

Well, he's in a very rough spot right now. You see, his family has never done too well economically, his mother was kind of a bitch and left them a couple of years back, and that left him, his sister and his father a bit broken (my friend took to wandering the streets, sometimes not coming home for days, becoming violent and seeking out trouble, etc), but he got his life back on the right track a few years ago.

Well, his dad's health situation got pretty bad all of a sudden; he's been having terrible periodic headaches that completely incapacitate him, and make him scream out in pain, and obviously leave him unable to go about his normal business. This is bad because of two reasons:

First, he's unable to work, so that means no income, and for a family who relies on every penny to cover their basic needs and provide as best as possible for the kids' education and everything that entails (we attend a public college, and even then they're struggling to keep themselves afloat) this is devastating. The kind of ironic thing is that the headaches were set off because the father worked too hard and stressed himself out too much (he worked two jobs, as a cab driver and another job in a hotel) and slept too little; two hours a day on average.

And secondly, well he's pretty much the only person my friend and his sister have to rely on. He was their solid pillar of confidence and safety, and seeing it falter is a hard blow for them. So now my friend has taken on the responsability of keeping everyone's shit together, but it's incredibly hard for him. It's gotten to the point where he's this close to quitting school and just getting any job because it's hard to keep themselves afloat, and cover the father's treatment on top of that.

In spite of that, he's been trying to carry his academic life along as best as he can, while he sees how his dad's health progresses, but here's when cruel destiny strikes. He's constantly hampered by things completely out of his control, and sees himself getting fucked over in school, and there's pretty much nothing he can do about it. Teachers who are assholes and won't even listen to his reasons for getting late to school (he lives super far away from school. He makes close to an hour, or an hour and a half, and there is often some kind of unforeseen traffic incident that causes him to make even longer. Plus, nowadays he's been having to stay and watch out for his dad, and go with him to get some studies done, and whatnot), resulting in him pretty much getting kicked out of their classes, lazy morons for teammates who don't contribute to team assignments, resulting in him sleeping just as late as his dad just to try to hand in anything, and just general bad luck. Like exam dates getting moved around in the most inconvenient way possible, professors who evaluate exams based on how much they like you, you name it. His luck is fucked up.


I'm surprised he's managed to hang on and stay strong as long as he has, but he's starting to lose hope and get discouraged. And I don't blame him. I could go on for hours about exactly how fucked up his luck is, it's just terrible. Nowadays he doesn't even get pissed of at it; he just laughs at his own misfortune. He's on the verge of not giving a shit about anything, and going back to his old, violent ways, and it seems that pretty much the only thing that stops him from doing so is his family. He acts all confident and encourages them, telling them to think positive, that everything will be alright, but deep inside he's just as scared, and confused, and lost as them. He comes to me to vent, and I guess for comfor, and I listen to him and offer him to help as best as I can, but it's come to a point where I just don't even know what to say.

I want to help him so badly, but what can I offer him aside from words of comfort and encouragement, which often end up falling flat and sounding terribly fake? I tell him he's going to have my scholarship money whether he likes it or not, if it ever comes to that, but it's so little it will barely help. And living my comfortable, everything's-always-alright life, I feel like a huge hypocrite telling him to hang on, that good news and better days are coming, that I don't blame him from being upset, while I go around all fine and dandy, enjoying my family's and my own good health without fearing I won't have food on my table or a roof above my head in the near future. What the hell do I know, I haven't been through the smallest part of what he's been through. How dare I comment on his situation?

I just wish I could help. I care so much about him. I feel so useless, yet I can't think of anything I could do to improve his situation. :c


I just wanted to put this out there, see if I can't make better sense of it. Still, thanks for caring, you guys. <3

[DJSheogowrath]

Sorry to bother y'all again, but I wanna throw another textwall at you. I guess I might be looking for advice here, in case anyone could offer any about this, but to be honest I don't think there's much anyone can do about this.


So my bestest friend ever. He's an awesome, caring, strong, wise guy. He's someone people can always count on, he's smart, and he can always see things from perspectives most people don't, and he often has words of advice (and an anecdote) for people who seek them. He's had quite the life; he's had so many things happen to him it's just amazing, both good and bad. Hell, even at his 20 years I'd dare say he has seen and lived more than many people do in their lives.

Well, he's in a very rough spot right now. You see, his family has never done too well economically, his mother was kind of a bitch and left them a couple of years back, and that left him, his sister and his father a bit broken (my friend took to wandering the streets, sometimes not coming home for days, becoming violent and seeking out trouble, etc), but he got his life back on the right track a few years ago.

Well, his dad's health situation got pretty bad all of a sudden; he's been having terrible periodic headaches that completely incapacitate him, and make him scream out in pain, and obviously leave him unable to go about his normal business. This is bad because of two reasons:

First, he's unable to work, so that means no income, and for a family who relies on every penny to cover their basic needs and provide as best as possible for the kids' education and everything that entails (we attend a public college, and even then they're struggling to keep themselves afloat) this is devastating. The kind of ironic thing is that the headaches were set off because the father worked too hard and stressed himself out too much (he worked two jobs, as a cab driver and another job in a hotel) and slept too little; two hours a day on average.

And secondly, well he's pretty much the only person my friend and his sister have to rely on. He was their solid pillar of confidence and safety, and seeing it falter is a hard blow for them. So now my friend has taken on the responsability of keeping everyone's shit together, but it's incredibly hard for him. It's gotten to the point where he's this close to quitting school and just getting any job because it's hard to keep themselves afloat, and cover the father's treatment on top of that.

In spite of that, he's been trying to carry his academic life along as best as he can, while he sees how his dad's health progresses, but here's when cruel destiny strikes. He's constantly hampered by things completely out of his control, and sees himself getting fucked over in school, and there's pretty much nothing he can do about it. Teachers who are assholes and won't even listen to his reasons for getting late to school (he lives super far away from school. He makes close to an hour, or an hour and a half, and there is often some kind of unforeseen traffic incident that causes him to make even longer. Plus, nowadays he's been having to stay and watch out for his dad, and go with him to get some studies done, and whatnot), resulting in him pretty much getting kicked out of their classes, lazy morons for teammates who don't contribute to team assignments, resulting in him sleeping just as late as his dad just to try to hand in anything, and just general bad luck. Like exam dates getting moved around in the most inconvenient way possible, professors who evaluate exams based on how much they like you, you name it. His luck is fucked up.


I'm surprised he's managed to hang on and stay strong as long as he has, but he's starting to lose hope and get discouraged. And I don't blame him. I could go on for hours about exactly how fucked up his luck is, it's just terrible. Nowadays he doesn't even get pissed of at it; he just laughs at his own misfortune. He's on the verge of not giving a shit about anything, and going back to his old, violent ways, and it seems that pretty much the only thing that stops him from doing so is his family. He acts all confident and encourages them, telling them to think positive, that everything will be alright, but deep inside he's just as scared, and confused, and lost as them. He comes to me to vent, and I guess for comfor, and I listen to him and offer him to help as best as I can, but it's come to a point where I just don't even know what to say.

I want to help him so badly, but what can I offer him aside from words of comfort and encouragement, which often end up falling flat and sounding terribly fake? I tell him he's going to have my scholarship money whether he likes it or not, if it ever comes to that, but it's so little it will barely help. And living my comfortable, everything's-always-alright life, I feel like a huge hypocrite telling him to hang on, that good news and better days are coming, that I don't blame him from being upset, while I go around all fine and dandy, enjoying my family's and my own good health without fearing I won't have food on my table or a roof above my head in the near future. What the hell do I know, I haven't been through the smallest part of what he's been through. How dare I comment on his situation?

I just wish I could help. I care so much about him. I feel so useless, yet I can't think of anything I could do to improve his situation. :c


I just wanted to put this out there, see if I can't make better sense of it. Still, thanks for caring, you guys. <3

I know how your friend feels (sort of). My parents are divorced (I live at both houses, I switch every week), my mom's pretty well set and my dad was too. But 4 years ago, he had a brain anyurism and he had to have surgery. He had trouble getting his bills paid, and he started getting stressed. About a year later, he attempted suicide by overdose, which meant another hospital trip, and to make matters worse, he was fired. For another year, he scraped by, searching for a job (My mom did help him with bills a few times). We ended up moving to a cheaper apartment, and he got rehired at his old job, albiet smaller pay. About 5 months ago, he got another job, and while he still has bills and his financial situation isn't perfect, it's a whole hell of a lot better than it was before. So it does get better, or at least it did for me.
But for you, the next time you two hang out, try not to mention it. Just focus on putting him in a good mood and getting his mind off the situation. Even if it is just for a few hours. It's a lot easier to face things in a better mood than in a bad mood. In the time after my dads attempted suicide, me and my best friend hung out a few times, and he always got my mind off that and I could just chill. I did have to end up having to deal with it at a later point, but those few hours can give him some hope and will at least hopefully put him in a better frame of mind.
I'm sorry to hear about you and your friend. Obviously, he is in an extremely difficult situation, but it is also very hard to be a friend to someone in that situation as well. I hope everything turns out for the better for him and his family.

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

I know how your friend feels (sort of). My parents are divorced (I live at both houses, I switch every week), my mom's pretty well set and my dad was too. But 4 years ago, he had a brain anyurism and he had to have surgery. He had trouble getting his bills paid, and he started getting stressed. About a year later, he attempted suicide by overdose, which meant another hospital trip, and to make matters worse, he was fired. For another year, he scraped by, searching for a job (My mom did help him with bills a few times). We ended up moving to a cheaper apartment, and he got rehired at his old job, albiet smaller pay. About 5 months ago, he got another job, and while he still has bills and his financial situation isn't perfect, it's a whole hell of a lot better than it was before. So it does get better, or at least it did for me.
But for you, the next time you two hang out, try not to mention it. Just focus on putting him in a good mood and getting his mind off the situation. Even if it is just for a few hours. It's a lot easier to face things in a better mood than in a bad mood. In the time after my dads attempted suicide, me and my best friend hung out a few times, and he always got my mind off that and I could just chill. I did have to end up having to deal with it at a later point, but those few hours can give him some hope and will at least hopefully put him in a better frame of mind.
I'm sorry to hear about you and your friend. Obviously, he is in an extremely difficult situation, but it is also very hard to be a friend to someone in that situation as well. I hope everything turns out for the better for him and his family.

Thanks a ton for your input. I'll keep that very much in mind; you're right, I could at least help improve his mood. All this time I've been focusing on how I could fix his dad, or his economic situation, but I'm really in no position to do this. I'll do my best. I'll be damned if I don't.

Thanks again. c:

[Fimbulin]

^^ Hugs!

[Freewave]

for TheSunAndTheRainfall (fyi)

if his homelife is that much a wreck and its effecting his schoolwork that bad he may be able to get university permission to get a break (i'm sure there's a specific term for this but it doesn't come to mind, sabbatical?) and restart the same classes or not continue his current ones where he may doubt fail. profs won't be sympathetic to such homelife issues but that's where he should talk to a school counselor or admin and maybe work for a few months until his homelife improves or changes. but he can't get through school if he's getting there late and isn't on enough solid ground to succeed, he just can't. his dad needs to get more than 2 hrs of sleep a night as that sounds like the biggest indicator of his health problems (that's just unhealthy). hope your friend makes it threough this difficult time as it would be a shame to drop from school but he needs to focus on immediate concerns and fix his homelife IF HE CAN or make steps to break destructive ties. Just be a shoulder he can rely on and a positive support that he can hopefully turn that around.

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

miu if his homelife is that much a wreck and its effecting his schoolwork that bad he may be able to get university permission to get a break (i'm sure there's a specific term for this but it doesn't come to mind, sabbatical?) and restart the same classes or not continue his current ones where he may doubt fail. profs won't be sympathetic to such homelife issues but that's where he should talk to a school counselor or admin and maybe work for a few months until his homelife improves or changes. but he can't get through school if he's getting there late and isn't on enough solid ground to succeed, he just can't. his dad needs to get more than 2 hrs of sleep a night as that sounds like the biggest indicator of his health problems (that's just unhealthy). hope your friend makes it threough this difficult time as it would be a shame to drop from school but he needs to focus on immediate concerns and fix his homelife IF HE CAN or make steps to break destructive ties. Just be a shoulder he can rely on and a positive support that he can hopefully turn that around.

Thanks, man. c: Yeah, that's what I've been telling him; school can go screw itself when there are more important things to be taken care of. He sees this, and will definitely do it as a last resort (and yes, he can take a break from school and go back to where he left off), but he's reluctant to do so, because he already had to repeat a semester (his bad luck had a lot to do with this too), and he's afraid to waste more time. But he realizes there may not be another choice.

Still, so far his dad's health condition remains pretty much the same (the headaches don't happen as often anymore, but they're more intense when they hit), and since he's not getting worse, that alone is good news. Yes, I'll try to be someone he can rely on, and hopefully the treatment will start working before he crumbles.


Thank you guys so much for reading, and thanks for the hugs, Fimbulin. C:

[Fimbulin]

Whatever you do, it's still ultimately up to him to be positive. I've got some friends that I dropped because they were always too negative about everything, but I've also got friends that wanted to be positive, and tried their hardest to keep up with life, but got overwhelmed. It might not be easy for you to share his frustration with him. Hey, I stayed up on teamspeak and skype all night with a friend that wanted to commit suicide and shaking a bottle of pills over a girl that dropped him. That was scary just trying to talk him out of it all night until he basically collapsed in sleep exhausted. I was pretty tired the next day for sure, but he got over it and thanked me alot for being there. Believe me, anything you can do for your friend, even if it's just standing there being with him is going to help him.

[Freewave]

One thing most people won't tell you is there is a very strong chance that someone you know may kill their self at one-point. While suicide is not an epidemic it's not uncommon for that to occur in late teens and early 20's and to someone you know. If you see someone need a life-line and support when they're having a bad time they'll likely express it rather than blindside you so just be aware when someone is giving you all the tell-tale signs. Most people don't really want to end their life, they just want to know that they're not alone and that someone cares and need help to get through a difficult time.

[Navron]

If my situation can compare to the, "give yourself a break," suggestion, hopefully it can illustrate some points on how most professional organizations handle these kinds of situations.

Obviously this is the military, so most people's perception is you do what you're told, end of story. No ifs, ands, or butts.

When it comes to flying though, we take it very seriously when it comes to people's personal issues. I've had plenty of flights canceled before they go because a pilot or crewman has something going on, or flights that come back early due to a situation that comes up in flight.

I never thought I'd see myself get into that kind of situation, but it happened recently, for the first time.

So I brought up before hand that my collateral duties were getting very far behind, because of how often I've been flying, and that I have a giant inspection coming up, that at the rate I'm flying, I won't be ready for. It's been a source of stress for a couple months now, but getting more stressful as the deadline approaches.

Flying is also scary. Anybody who says they're comfortable shouldn't be flying, because that means they're getting complacent, and in the case of what we do (flying very low and fast 10-15ft. above tree tops), anybody who isn't puckering up isn't sane.

Anyway, while doing one of these flights, a combination of issues mounted up:
- The body armor I was wearing made it hard to scan my side of the aircraft, when I'm trying to see if our rotor blades and tail rotor are going to, "interfere," with trees, and potential bad things like that.
- Wearing night vision goggles restricts our field of view to 40 degrees, making us have to scan more vigilantly.
- Our aircraft had the external weapons pylons attached (bat wings), meaning outside my window is a gigantic pylon that obstructs my vision, meaning I have to move and scan around it. A disorientating technique.

So anyway, the stress of wearing body armor, the horrible inability to see hazards we may end up killing ourselves on, and the disorientation of the NVGs all compounded on that general fear and pucker factor.

Now combine that with my stress from my collateral duties, and you end up having what happened to me:

I broke down mid-flight. Like literally broke down crying, for no reason.

After the flight I noticed I was scheduled the next day for another tactical flight. No way to work on collateral duties again = more stress.

So I called my chief in the morning, told him how I broke down the night before, what was stressing me out, and basically said, "I am unfit to fly, and if I must do this flight today, I will ORM (risk management) myself off this flight."

Not a threat, but a choice. Myself in that position would have been a hazard to the rest of the crew. Only difference is I called them 3 hours before the brief, so they were able to find somebody qualified to take my spot, vs me ORM-ing out at the brief, which would have screwed up the entire flight schedule.

Afterwords I spoke with my higher officers about the issues, and we worked out a plan where I would be off the schedule for a week, get a chance to catch up on collateral duties, and then slowly get reintegrated back into the flight schedule.

All that, because I spoke up about the issues, vs letting myself get driven into the ground (maybe literally) by them.

TheSunAndTheRainfall: If your friend has these life issues interfering with his attitude, health, and schoolwork, then it makes no difference if he continues schooling or takes a break from it.

If he continues, these life issues will prevent him from doing well, because they will drive his attention and focus away from schooling. Just like how I cannot fully focus on flying if I have too many life issues going on.

If he cannot learn while attending, then it makes no difference if he gets a break or not. The only difference is if he speaks up about it, he may be able to get a sanctioned break with no effect on his grades. If he doesn't, he may get poor grades, and end up having to repeat classes or semesters.

If the military is flexible enough to let people like me take a break because of stress and life issues, I am more than certain a school will be able to do the same. Just gotta make sure you talk to the right people (aka Guidance Councilor, Principal, etc.) Teachers may be on a case by case basis, so they should be a last resort.

[MiuMiuChuu]

I need to vent.

So I have this debate coming up on Tuesday. I haven't attend any of the group meetings since I was too busy or too tired with work, plus I got sick this week. But I tried to approach my groupmates in classes.

Everytime I ask about their latest discussion, they only replied with "Basically what we talk is just about *insert brief and vague explanation here*"

So on Wednesday, after coming from a stressful work I brought my heavy laptop to school so just I can consult with them about the debate and my part. The group leader recommended that we use some artworks from particular artists I'm very familiar with. I figured out which artworks I should use, and they agreed. So all I do then is to compile and write my points. I asked which point of their debate speech part I should take note too as well, but they said, I don't need to worry about it and all. I apologized since I couldn't come on meetings, they said it's fine. The next Thursday, they would having another meeting. I leave work at 5.30 on Thursday and asked when would they end the meeting if there's any chance if I can join on the last minute. They said they need to leave early, and again, tell for me not to worry about the meeting and everything is fine, in a bright and chill note.

So I assumed that I will be done on compiling my examples on Friday. I intended to finish on Friday. But the day started in a very bad note. I was very sick and suddenly someone expressed some dispute to my point of view in the morning. There was trouble at work and as an intern, I always get the blame even if it wasn't exactly my mistake. After coming home with all those, suddenly I got a message from my group leader telling that I should check my e-mail, do my part and send it on Sunday, and telling me to "stop acting like a kid". I was confused. I checked my e-mail and they in fact, covered the work I'm supposed to be doing on the Thursday meeting, changed all the recommended examples, and threatened me to exclude me from the group if I don't do my work. I seriously don't understand why they suddenly got pissed off when they said "everything is fine" and all that.

So I did my work right away on Friday and tell the group leader I might send my part tonight in case there needs to be changes so I can finalize it on Sunday, just like they want to. I altered the example a little bit and explain the way the told me to explain. The group leader told me I should use recent cases, give links if there any, so I gave another example on recent cases. Then I sent my work to them and explain why I think this would do a good example. But then the group leader said she didn't want me to send anymore links, she doesn't have time to read, and she want it to be exact examples the way it was given. Then my friend/groupmate came up to me as well via email and told me that she didn't understand why "I'm behaving like this".

All I did was to cover up my part and do what I'm supposed to do. I seriously don't mean to burden or not to appreciate them. I don't like the way they just give vague explanation, said "everything is fine" or sweet talk me to not worry too much, and suddenly got angry and strict all of a sudden. If they don't like my situation at the very first start, then they should just tell me right away that I'm unfit to do this part because I can't contribute or something. If they can't bear with me being busy with work and all that, they just rather tell me right away. Because seriously, if they think I'm not appreciating or taking their work seriously, they just making it worse if they don't appreciate my work. I did what they told me to do, I tried to spin something I thought might be helpful, I even try to fasten up the deadline so it would be less of a burden, but no.

I explained to them that I did not mean any bad things to slow the work. I tried to be helpful. I don't know if they care about it or not, and I couldn't care about it anymore. I just hate the way they're not being straight and direct with me and suddenly got angry about it all of a sudden.

Pffffttt

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

@ NavyBrony: Thanks so much for sharing your experience with me, sorry to hear you've been having it so rough, though. It's enlightening to look at things from that perspective, and it makes a lot of sense. It will be sad to see him drop off if he does, but his health and his family life come before everything else. You're right, it's not possible to perform well in other areas when the most basic ones are left unattended. I'll urge him to tend to himself first, I'm sure we'll be able to find a way to make it less harsh on him.

Also, I wanted to add that I always look forward to reading posts from you; you're a person I admire and respect a lot. c:


@ Miu: Is this debate something that you must participate in for school, or whatever reason; can't you quit before things get worse between you and your peers? If not, the first thing I'd suggest would be talking straight and upfront with them, if you think you have the energy to do so. Confront them, explain your situation to them, tell them how you percieve their actions, and ask them why they're behaving that way. If they're reasonable enough they should see the light; you're putting up with too much at the moment, and yet you're still contributing as best as you can, it's just not fair that they treat you like this.

If, in spite of trying to get them to see thing from your perspective, they're still bent on things going their way, and their way only, then I'd suggest just going with the flow, and delivering what they want to see and no more. I know it's a truly sucky course of action, but right now you wave way too many things on your hands, and if there's just no way to salvage this situation in your terms, then there's not much of a point on investing more effort on it than necessary. You're having a rough time right now, and you have to take care of yourself and your other matters as best as you can.

I'm sorry to hear you're having to put up with all that. Hope things will start getting lighter for you soon. Many hugs.

[MiuMiuChuu]

Update: So they finally got back at me after I threw a sh1tstorm on what my intention is. They said what I did was wrong and contradicting the stand of our debate topic but didn't explain why. Then finally the girl who supposed to do the conclusion post her part and everything becomes clear. I've been asking for this conclusion since early discussion and they say I don't need to do so, but if they don't give me, I could not have a clear point of what I should do. Then I did something wrong, and they are all mad. I seriously don't like how the way they work it out after all of my tries of contribution to mend all my absence in meetings.

So my debate stand is "Censorship does not affect the production of good art". I thought we're still sticking to the conclusion where we discuss, no matter what censorship censors, an art is still art with all its aesthetic values right after it's produced like we proposed on earlier discussion. They could just explain to me directly that they changed the conclusion to censorship is needed to protect the morals and harmony of society but not necessarily destroy the production and circulation of art instead, which is a totally different thing, and I bet is easy to explain when I constantly asked them about the conclusion.

I think I can peacefully do this assignment now. I hope after all this debate is done, everything is settled. Because seriously, I don't need anymore sh1t in my final year. I had too many people refuse to understand me and blame anything that goes wrong on me already and I still trying to handle all of them.


*I think I need a session with Iron Will*

Thank you AllTheRainfall. It motivates me to believe that I could try to fix this thing up. Hugs to you too. And all of you~

[Sinn Ick]

Vent? Alrighty then. Personally right now i am happy that a am getting the hang of FL studio but beyond mad that i can not save my projects to work on them later due to the demo, and the fruity edition has everything i need... EXCEPT one thing, which is in the next upgrade, that costs 100$ more. So im out that, and can't find out if i can make a decent song due to not being able to save -_-

[Navron]

Okay. My turn to vent! Be forewarned though, it will be riddled with military jargon that I'm sure most of you won't understand. For the sake of brevity, I won't explain everything, but some google searches may help you out.

When do you question nostalgia? Because I did.

Backup 3 years ago. Just got to my permanent command. As a new guy, I of course got the fair treatment of harassment from my shop, drunk nights out, etc. I was a brand new aircrewman straight out of training getting to his first real command, which coincided with what would soon become a year and a half workup cycle pre-deployment.

Most of my shop are alcoholics, but despite their crazy off-duty antics, they know their stuff. Many flights I would be riddled with questions on procedures, tactics, etc, and despite them nearly showing up to work hungover, once they got into that aircraft, they were top performing aircrewman, backing up the pilots, and getting the mission done.

My former command was HS-7*. We flew the SH-60F and HH-60H helicopters. On our right shoulder we could pretty much wear whatever patch we wanted, but most of the crew chiefs wore a patch with the Jack Daniels, "Old #7 Brand," logo, because hell, we were HS-7. That same patch design was also designed into the tile of our ready room floor on the boat, and has been with the command for awhile.
*I have no problems mentioning where I previously worked, but my current assignments will not be mentioned.*

Anyway, I vowed I wouldn't wear that patch until I made crew chief. It seemed only the crew chiefs and top pilots wore it, so despite being able to buy and wear it if I wanted, there was a special meaning behind it that I didn't quite earn.

So we go through workups, I get my quals, and eventually we go on cruise. Our philosophy was to work hard and play hard. If we ever deviated by what the instructions told us to do, it was because it made the most sense, and erred on the side of safety.

Now it's post cruise. We're lined up to transition to a new airframe (the MH-60S,) and we would also switch homeports (formerly Jacksonville, FL,) but before the transition, I get into a minor helicopter accident that left me and my crew in a down status for many months.

The transition changed everything.

We're at a new duty station, and the first thing I notice is our squadron has become extremely, "by the books." After all, our higher ups work here, and we're the new squadron in town, so we go about having the best perception possible. But what does that entail?

Well, we scrapped the, "Old #7 Brand," logo, pretty much at the same time I was about to start wearing it, a decision that upset many pilots and aircrewmen. Reason behind it was because it would make our perception brand, and make it look like we glorified alcohol. On top of adhering to building codes (nobody parks outside our hangar, despite the fact every other squadron does,) we also started following other rules to the letter of the law (such as flyers not be allowed to drink energy drinks, a decision not favorable to the non-coffee drinkers.)

We also ramped up our schedule. I fly almost every day, which interferes with my collateral duties, which include getting our entire squadron ready for a huge NATOPS evaluation.

Now we're in the MH-60S community though. A lot of our pilots and aircrewmen coming in are from logistic based squadrons (cargo, VERTREP, passenger transfer, etc,) meaning a lot of our new pilots are not used to the special tactics required for combat oriented missions, such as CSAR, NSW support, etc.

But that doesn't stop them from pushing people through quals.

I've had more close calls in the MH-60S in 1 year, than I have in the SH-60F and HH-60H helicopters over 3 years. Reason being because the pilots and aircrewmen who are higher ranking, are seeing fit to push people through cards, and signing them off despite them obviously having difficulties. Now I get the potential to go on combat missions with a left gunner (me on the right side) who may not have a f***ing clue what to do if a missile gets launched at us. Much less how to fly in close proximity to mountains as we'll be doing next year.

The pilots also don't seem to cater to our inputs. We just simply, "ride in the back," so obviously we have no say in whether or not their flying is up-to-par. Much different than the HS community, where aircrewmen were held to high esteem, and pilots listened intently on any inputs we had, to help make them better.

Tonight I just got done with an HVBSS mission. Basically, fast roping specops onto a moving boat.

Let's look at what we did in the HS community:
- We flew HVBSS to a familiar boat the qualified crewmen have done before.
- Nobody was allowed to fly night events prior to day events.
- We literally did a, "dirt dive flight," meaning we all stood in crews on the ground, just the way we would in the helo, and walked through the procedures. Corny, but it allowed each crew of each helo to know exactly how they would move.

Now, let's look at what happened tonight:
- The boat we were familiar with had maintenance issues, so we had a smaller, unfamiliar boat.
- One of the pilots had never done HVBSS before in his life, yet he was doing his first one at night, with low illumination for our NVGs.
- The crews did a whiteboard drawing of what we would do, but didn't do a dirt dive.

The flight:
- Lost sight of the horizon due to haze.
- No helo knew exactly what we were doing, so our overall flow was jacked up, sometimes leading us to be head-to-head (on a low illumination night.)
- Boat was much smaller than anticipated. One of the ropers almost fell into the water.
- Our wing aircraft didn't rope anybody because their pilot was extremely uncomfortable.

I told our pilot up front after the debrief how, despite it being corny, we really should have done a dirt dive. The response basically was, "Well, we covered everything on the board, so there shouldn't have been any question on what to do." AKA, he blew off the suggestion, despite the fact their method clearly didn't work.

And that's just one flight. This shit has been going on since last July, hence, "More close calls in the MH-60S than I ever had in the SH-60F and HH-60H."

I'm up to the point where I have to choose whether or not I'm going to reenlist in the Navy. If I don't, I get out in a few months. If I do, I will do all the workups for the squadron, and make at least half of next deployment.

I really enjoy flying, but I honestly feel if I stay here, my squadron is going to end up killing me, leaving me at a tough decision where if I stay in, I can at least knock out a lot of college courses, and decide what degree I want to go to college for. If I get out, I will basically be leaving with no clue what I want to do, or what I want to major in.

So there's my rant. Sorry it's pretty long. I've basically witnessed a squadron I love turn into a squadron that doesn't care about its aircrew, does everything by the books (even when it ends up interfering with safety), and seeks to eliminate all pride and heritage that we had from our HS days in the SH-60F and HH-60H. I've even had somebody tell me the patch I wore was unauthorized, because it wasn't from a graduate school in the Navy.

No, this patch was not the "Old #7 Brand."

This patch was an HS Squadron tribute patch.

They say nostalgia is a unique feeling, for the past always seems better because your mind only remembers the good things.

I remember some tough days at HS-7. I hated others.

Thus, I am challenging nostalgia.

I don't think it's simply a case of forgetting the bad and remembering the best.

[LunchBagMusic]

Wow NavyBrony, tough shit. I can totally relate with you on that nostalgia thing, though on a less life threatening way.

My response was to leave, I understand that this is more difficult for you as this is your career, whereas my situation is much less life changing.

I can't really offer any definitive advice, but I get you and understand what you're going through

[Navron]

Well, if their goal is to ultimately keep me as a crewman, they're doing a horrible job at getting me to do so, in my final months to make a decision.

So I got off last night at 10:30PM, and was scheduled for a flight brief at 8:00AM. Now I just found out that in addition to my flight getting pushed to 2:30PM (already briefed), they want to give us 2hrs off and then send us on another flight that lands at 10:30PM tonight, in which case we'll then clean guns and likely not leave until midnight.

So...less than 10hrs off between flight events.
Total sleep somewhere within 5-6hrs.
Now my crew day is going to be approaching 14hrs.

I really hope they don't end up getting me scheduled again with less than 10hrs crew rest. If so, I'm opting myself off the flight.

[DrSorkenstein]

I can relate to your story as well. I did my time in the army and was faced with a similar choice to leave once my 9 month were over or to be employed.
I chose to leave and really had no idea what to do at all when I got back home. It took me a few months to adjust before I landed myself a job and signed up for an evening class.

As for you, it doesn't seem to be a healthy work environment at all. Considering the line of work, mental health, moral and stress should be big issues and communication is VITAL. Also the complete lack of consideration shown towards some of the problems you talked about is just mindblowing.

Even though it is a big step to take for you my advice is to quit and find something else to do. It really isn't doing you any good. I salute you for what your doing and wish you the best of luck whichever way you choose! Hang in there bro!

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

NavyBrony, that's serious stuff. I won't even try to offer you advice, because the scope of your situation is beyond anything I'd ever dream of being through, but I still wish you the best of luck reaching a decision that you're certain is the right way to go.