The hugging/venting thread

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

Guys, I could really use your advice, or anything you can say about this, really. Or at least someone to listen to my rant, or something. Please. :c


Long story short, I'm becoming hateful, impatient and intolerant; everything I used to be, and everything I hate being.

I think where I see this the clearest is when dealing with this friend of mine. I've known him for about two years now, and he's super mild, super chilled out, and patient. While he may not be the wisest, or the most knowledgeable of people, his heart is in the right place, and he always looks out for you, even if it's just by letting you know he's there for you. He's had my back many times now in school assignments, and I can always count on him to explain things I didn't understand in class.

Still, I've begun to completely abhor him, see him with disdain, and even lash out at him. You see, he's also a very shy guy, and he lacks a ton of confidence. One thing he does often is ask me "d'you think we should ask the professor?" when he's in doubt about something in a lab practice or something, and when I say "sure" he tells me to ask him for him. He's more afraid of confrontation than I am. He's a chronic worrier, and is constantly pestering and panicking about the pettiest "what ifs". I'd say he's needy and clingy, but I don't know if everything I just typed out just my skewered perspective of things, or the way he truly is.

The point is, a few months back, whenever I met someone like this, I'd always try to listen, soothe, comfort, encourage, advise, cheer on, and just try to push forward as best as I could, but now I just see him as a load, or even something to be used and disposed of, but not to be taken seriously. Whenever he's insecure about something I make subtle, but hurtful remarks, whenever he starts dumping his questions and doubts on me I'm curt, despondent and distant with him. And it always happens that I do all of this before I can catch myself doing this, and afterwards I'm taken aback at myslef, and proceed to mentally flagellate myself. Yet I don't see myself changing this at all.


And as I do with this person I can no longer deem myself worthy of calling him my friend, I do at a lesser degree with pretty much everyone else. I'm back to being prejudiced, to putting down everyone I meet in my head over appearances, to making fun of ignorance, to looking down at lack of confidence / assertiveness / ability, to mocking incompetence, to laughing at lack of fortune, to being impatient, and just full of shit.

The worst part is that whenever I look at myself, I realize and acknowledge that I'm guilty of the very same things I frown upon and ridicule, hell, I'm probably worse off at all of them than the people I make fun of, and I see exactly how much of a piece of shit and a hypocrite I am, yet at some level I think I'm okay with it.


As I said, I used to be like this, perhaps even worse. And back then I knew that it was not the right way to be, and I wanted to change that, but I didn't know how. I ain't gonna lie, as cheesy as it sounds, it was this community what made me try to turn my perspective and my attitude for the better, and since then I don't think I've ever been happier, or more at peace with myself and everything outside of me. But I'm starting to recede, and I have no idea how to turn this around, and I'm worried as hell. And scared. This is not okay. This is not right.



EDIT: oh god, now this guy just sent me something that could help me in this lab practice I'll be making tomorrow, and I still feel so negatively towards him. Someone come beat the shit out of me, and see if I can't see some sense, or something. Goddammit.


EDIT 2: okay, a few hours afterwards I feel slightly better. Really, the only thing left to do in these situations is make an even bigger effort. Because nothing is ever achieved without one. Deep breath, one, two, three, let's go.

[Pickslide1992]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't felt like that at least once. I'd just suggest thinking about what it is you really want. But really, really want. Is it truly attention (interest, however you wanna call it)? What do you expect will happen once you get there/that? What's next after that? When will it be enough?

I know this is probably THE standard reply here, but if you're doing something, do it because you love doing it. Anything else is just a bonus. As for stuff in real life... I don't know exactly what you're going through, so I can't really advise you on that, but I still wanted to tell you this: it may or may not apply to you, but at least in my personal experience, you're never really satisfied in spite of any attention you might get. The only thing that truly makes things worthwhile are those special, meaningful, lasting connections you make with other people, and that's something that's worth striving for, more than most other things.


Just my two cents. I'm sorry if I completely missed the point. :c

[Pickslide1992]

Nah, you helped the best you could and I'm happy for you. If anything, I feel a bit better since I posted that. It was a burden I had to get off my chest and you merely replying was confirmation enough that I wasn't alone.

[bigBerd]

*rant about friend*

I'm at a similar place right now.

My best buddy has a handful of issues; he's got bi-polar disorder, asperger's, and a bunch of other conditions. He's been living in my basement for the past few months after being kicked out of his parents' house. Dealing with him has become more and more of a chore, and I don't know how justified I am with my frustration sometimes. I've had to endure many an emotional breakdown, anywhere from a bad break-up to a cocaine burnout. That, on top of his general inconsideration, bad manners, and attitude about everything kinda gets to me sometimes. I'm normally a pretty good dude, but I can't help but feel I've become the tiniest bit more bitter overall because of this.

Though my feelings aren't nearly as... extreme as yours may be, I know how you feel.

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

I'm at a similar place right now.

My best buddy has a handful of issues; he's got bi-polar disorder, asperger's, and a bunch of other conditions. He's been living in my basement for the past few months after being kicked out of his parents' house. Dealing with him has become more and more of a chore, and I don't know how justified I am with my frustration sometimes. I've had to endure many an emotional breakdown, anywhere from a bad break-up to a cocaine burnout. That, on top of his general inconsideration, bad manners, and attitude about everything kinda gets to me sometimes. I'm normally a pretty good dude, but I can't help but feel I've become the tiniest bit more bitter overall because of this.

Though my feelings aren't nearly as... extreme as yours may be, I know how you feel.

Dayum, man. Sounds like you have it a lot worse. :c Hope you can work something out about that situation, 'cause it sounds like the kind of thing that sucks the life out of you after some time. Best of luck.

[vladnuke]

My actual problem:
I have no direction or goals in life, and I seem to be content with that. I don't know what profession I should take because I don't care for either of my parent's professions, yet I don't know any other. I could explain the intricacies of anti-immune therapy and database networking, but I know that I would never truly fit in with either a profession in microbiology or programming. My two favored professions are either writer or an engineer of some sort (probably electrical, could go for mechanical, robotics type stuff) but my math sucks and finding work in writing is a daunting challenge.

I guess I'm still looking for my cutie mark, so I've tried to produce music, and this has been working out OK, I guess. I never have time to really get to it, and I'm always finding myself chasing one deadline after another because I'm a disorganized bastard, leading me to half-ass my music stuff. It's not that I'm a constant procrastinator as much as it is that I'm just plain lazy. I think if I just sat down and focused on one thing rather than jumping about, doing pieces of things before sitting and doing nothing, I would be a professional at something. I guess that's why I'm now OK at writing, because it's an activity that demands your attention.

"In a given day, I think I do about 15 minutes of actual, solid work" That quote exemplifies my life. I guess this would be half the place to post this, as my problem needs the opposite of hugs. I need to get off my ass, get off whatever procrastionatory aid I have in front of me and actually get to work. And, by that regard, quit posting here, at least until I get my work finished.

[Freewave]

Guys, I could really use your advice, or anything you can say about this, really. Or at least someone to listen to my rant, or something. Please. :c


Long story short, I'm becoming hateful, impatient and intolerant; everything I used to be, and everything I hate being.

I think where I see this the clearest is when dealing with this friend of mine. I've known him for about two years now, and he's super mild, super chilled out, and patient. While he may not be the wisest, or the most knowledgeable of people, his heart is in the right place, and he always looks out for you, even if it's just by letting you know he's there for you. He's had my back many times now in school assignments, and I can always count on him to explain things I didn't understand in class.

Still, I've begun to completely abhor him, see him with disdain, and even lash out at him. You see, he's also a very shy guy, and he lacks a ton of confidence. One thing he does often is ask me "d'you think we should ask the professor?" when he's in doubt about something in a lab practice or something, and when I say "sure" he tells me to ask him for him. He's more afraid of confrontation than I am. He's a chronic worrier, and is constantly pestering and panicking about the pettiest "what ifs". I'd say he's needy and clingy, but I don't know if everything I just typed out just my skewered perspective of things, or the way he truly is.

The point is, a few months back, whenever I met someone like this, I'd always try to listen, soothe, comfort, encourage, advise, cheer on, and just try to push forward as best as I could, but now I just see him as a load, or even something to be used and disposed of, but not to be taken seriously. Whenever he's insecure about something I make subtle, but hurtful remarks, whenever he starts dumping his questions and doubts on me I'm curt, despondent and distant with him. And it always happens that I do all of this before I can catch myself doing this, and afterwards I'm taken aback at myslef, and proceed to mentally flagellate myself. Yet I don't see myself changing this at all.


And as I do with this person I can no longer deem myself worthy of calling him my friend, I do at a lesser degree with pretty much everyone else. I'm back to being prejudiced, to putting down everyone I meet in my head over appearances, to making fun of ignorance, to looking down at lack of confidence / assertiveness / ability, to mocking incompetence, to laughing at lack of fortune, to being impatient, and just full of shit.

The worst part is that whenever I look at myself, I realize and acknowledge that I'm guilty of the very same things I frown upon and ridicule, hell, I'm probably worse off at all of them than the people I make fun of, and I see exactly how much of a piece of shit and a hypocrite I am, yet at some level I think I'm okay with it.


As I said, I used to be like this, perhaps even worse. And back then I knew that it was not the right way to be, and I wanted to change that, but I didn't know how. I ain't gonna lie, as cheesy as it sounds, it was this community what made me try to turn my perspective and my attitude for the better, and since then I don't think I've ever been happier, or more at peace with myself and everything outside of me. But I'm starting to recede, and I have no idea how to turn this around, and I'm worried as hell. And scared. This is not okay. This is not right.



EDIT: oh god, now this guy just sent me something that could help me in this lab practice I'll be making tomorrow, and I still feel so negatively towards him. Someone come beat the shit out of me, and see if I can't see some sense, or something. Goddammit.


EDIT 2: okay, a few hours afterwards I feel slightly better. Really, the only thing left to do in these situations is make an even bigger effort. Because nothing is ever achieved without one. Deep breath, one, two, three, let's go.

yeah i'd simply recommend 2 things: just make a bigger effort in trying to not see another human being as someone that its ok to push around or dislike in a passive aggressive way but also be honest about things that he isn't working on personality wise to not be a drain on as a friend. Sounds a lot like the recent Fluttershy episode tbh, which is kinda hilarious. sounds like the guy needs to be less of a doormat and start taking motivational courses from a minotaur. By all means nudge him to correct his behavior but if he isn't following through call him on it.

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

yeah i'd simply recommend 2 things: just make a bigger effort in trying to not see another human being as someone that its ok to push around or dislike in a passive aggressive way but also be honest about things that he isn't working on personality wise to not be a drain on as a friend. Sounds a lot like the recent Fluttershy episode tbh, which is kinda hilarious. sounds like the guy needs to be less of a doormat and start taking motivational courses from a minotaur. By all means nudge him to correct his behavior but if he isn't following through call him on it.

Thanks a lot man. c: I read your post last night, and just stuck more firmly to that advice today, and I actually feel a lot better now. It's been an interesting day, and now the state of mind I was in yesterday seems like a bad dream to me (I just wish I wasn't cycling through all these states of mind so often, it wears me out :/ ). Plus I spoke to my friend and just laid everything down to him, and I was surprised I didn't do it in a way that was meant to hurt or anything, and he told me he saw he needed to fix those issues with himself as well, and I apologized for being such a dick to him, so that went well as well. Plus, I've been slowly drifting back to my more positive and understanding state of mind, you know, not judging people all the time and seeing them with disdain and just hating everything and everyone, and that's a huge relief. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there. c:

[MixolydianPony]

My actual problem:
I have no direction or goals in life, and I seem to be content with that. I don't know what profession I should take because I don't care for either of my parent's professions, yet I don't know any other. I could explain the intricacies of anti-immune therapy and database networking, but I know that I would never truly fit in with either a profession in microbiology or programming. My two favored professions are either writer or an engineer of some sort (probably electrical, could go for mechanical, robotics type stuff) but my math sucks and finding work in writing is a daunting challenge.

I guess I'm still looking for my cutie mark, so I've tried to produce music, and this has been working out OK, I guess. I never have time to really get to it, and I'm always finding myself chasing one deadline after another because I'm a disorganized bastard, leading me to half-ass my music stuff. It's not that I'm a constant procrastinator as much as it is that I'm just plain lazy. I think if I just sat down and focused on one thing rather than jumping about, doing pieces of things before sitting and doing nothing, I would be a professional at something. I guess that's why I'm now OK at writing, because it's an activity that demands your attention.

"In a given day, I think I do about 15 minutes of actual, solid work" That quote exemplifies my life. I guess this would be half the place to post this, as my problem needs the opposite of hugs. I need to get off my ass, get off whatever procrastionatory aid I have in front of me and actually get to work. And, by that regard, quit posting here, at least until I get my work finished.

I seem to have almost the exact same problems, and I've not found a way to completely solve them. The closest I got to solving the laziness thing, was to just promise myself that I would get at least one productive thing done per day. It seems that the more things I have on my to do list, the less inclined I am to do any of them at all. I would get up and say to myself "Today I am going to clean my room if it kills me." now of course, this resulted in me effectively giving myself permission to neglect other things, but at the very least, doing one thing is better than doing nothing.

Another thing that helped was when a while ago, myself and a friend of mine would regularly check up on each other to make sure we were both getting stuff done. It was beneficial to know that someone besides yourself wanted to see you be a productive individual. I sortof felt like I needed to do something, so as to not disappoint this person. It was almost like I cared more about not disappointing my friend than I did about not disappointing myself.

Though, I should note that I am no longer doing either of the aforementioned things, and I have been falling back into the routine of sleeping in school and coming home and fooling around on the internet, and accomplishing nothing useful whatsoever on a day to day basis. I shall attempt to rectify this situation. Also, if you think that the second idea is worthwhile, I'd be glad to be your productivity check-up person guy.

I hope I've helped in some way. I'm not entirely sure that I'm qualified to offer any response other than "I know what you mean", seeing as I've still not overcome the problems myself.

[Facade]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

i feel the same way i just released an album and its only gotten one download :/
i even posted it on my pony square and in two skype chats

[AerieFlew]

Awe baby >~> Facade, hunnie bunnie, you're amazing. Not everyone is going to download it, cause they are lame. But. It's amazing, you worked hard, and you are going to get yourself out there and have HINDREDS of downloads, just be patient... Though. Of course. Now my goal is to get at least ten people to download it today SO! Chin up hunnie cakes <3

[Freewave]

yeah i'd simply recommend 2 things: just make a bigger effort in trying to not see another human being as someone that its ok to push around or dislike in a passive aggressive way but also be honest about things that he isn't working on personality wise to not be a drain on as a friend. Sounds a lot like the recent Fluttershy episode tbh, which is kinda hilarious. sounds like the guy needs to be less of a doormat and start taking motivational courses from a minotaur. By all means nudge him to correct his behavior but if he isn't following through call him on it.

Thanks a lot man. c: I read your post last night, and just stuck more firmly to that advice today, and I actually feel a lot better now. It's been an interesting day, and now the state of mind I was in yesterday seems like a bad dream to me (I just wish I wasn't cycling through all these states of mind so often, it wears me out :/ ). Plus I spoke to my friend and just laid everything down to him, and I was surprised I didn't do it in a way that was meant to hurt or anything, and he told me he saw he needed to fix those issues with himself as well, and I apologized for being such a dick to him, so that went well as well. Plus, I've been slowly drifting back to my more positive and understanding state of mind, you know, not judging people all the time and seeing them with disdain and just hating everything and everyone, and that's a huge relief. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there. c:

That's great news and I'm glad that went well.

I have a cold which is why I am posting at 4am.....uh can't sleeep.....
at least i called into work and used some saved up sick time. i could use a day off.

[Freewave]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

i feel the same way i just released an album and its only gotten one download :/
i even posted it on my pony square and in two skype chats

By all means put it in your signature. Now that I know its out there I have no way to find where to get it. Albums are tricky as they do require some devotion to that artist. Is it a free, pay what you want, or pay album? I'll be honest I generally steer clear from paying for albums these days so keep that in mind as a factor if that's the case.

[AerieFlew]

It's free :3 look through his posts, the one that says album release has the link to the album in it.

[Pickslide1992]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

i feel the same way i just released an album and its only gotten one download :/
i even posted it on my pony square and in two skype chats

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's overlooked. The main reason I post stuff here is for feedback. By this logic, not having any input means my stuff is flawless and it's not.

[Freewave]

Okay, I'm sorry to keep bringing lots of problems and little solutions in this thread, but this is something I must address. I feel invisible. As in, constantly ignored everywhere I go. Be it on sites I visit regularly or in real life, I just feel like no one has any interest in what I've done or what I'll continue to do.

Maybe I'm a selfish twat who needs constant attention, maybe I'm not, but please, for the love of God, don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way.

Hugs for all...

i feel the same way i just released an album and its only gotten one download :/
i even posted it on my pony square and in two skype chats

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's overlooked. The main reason I post stuff here is for feedback. By this logic, not having any input means my stuff is flawless and it's not.

Again link your work (soundcloud, youtube) in a signature here so people can check it out...I routinely only get on average 1 response on MLR when i post my work so I'm not sure how benficial it is to do so sadly. I certainly try to review just about any track that comes on MLR but its important to have a handful of friends who can verbally give your definite feedback so you don't have to count on the kindness of strangers (follow/subscriptions are where this pays off). When you get better and have more views its much easier to judge feedback as positive off downloads and favoriting (and occasionally comments) but much harder before then when you just don't have the same amount of views yet. Ultimately you should get to a point where your own evaluation of a track IS the most important one and you will need less guidance on what needs more improvement. It's a shame there's SO MANY brony artists at this point as it truly is hard to compete and stand out. Just keep trying and perfect your music and try to get it to people to hear it.

[Pickslide1992]

That doesn't sound like a bad idea. And here I thought I was being ignored on purpose. But I agree, it's difficult to stand out nowadays as every conceivable genre is covered by someone.

[Fimbulin]

So I just got a new ASUS N55SF laptop with a Bang & Olufsen ICEpower speaker system... and the front left speaker buzzes. Things like this are going to keep me musically unproductive FOREVER! I hardly ever hear of stuff like this happening to my friends, but it seems to happen to me alot

[Freewave]

You're going to return it right?

[bartekko]

I never though I'd feel the need to write in this. I'll be as honest as possible.
Everyone keeps praising my sound design, but I don't see anything new in what sounds I make. It feels like the only thing you can do to your sounds, is to take a waveform, and then pass it through a lowpass filter. bam, nothing creative. that's not my main issue though. My main issue is, that I feel like the worst musician ever. I know that I'm a horrible person for saying this, but I hate it, when someone newer to music than me, makes something better than what I made. I can't enjoy new people's tracks, and am nitpicking, like "the hat here is 0.1 db too loud" or " needs better mixing". And when it comes to music that I make, I can't make melodies at all. My best song, which I'm still kind of proud of is basically only a cliched electro house sounding pattern (I've found myself abusing patterns that are on one pitch for a dotted half note, and only have other pitches in the last quarter note) and the chord progression was taken DIRECTLY from the original song it was a remix of. I am very jealous of people who can make stuff sound right while I can't. I can't determine if a song is offkey, because dissonance sounds as good to me as consonance. I am mean to people on irc just because. I also am extremely insecure. I remember hating d-notive's songs because they were so good compared to mine and I though he was a newbie, which I am VERY ashamed of.

[Pickslide1992]

I never though I'd feel the need to write in this. I'll be as honest as possible.
Everyone keeps praising my sound design, but I don't see anything new in what sounds I make. It feels like the only thing you can do to your sounds, is to take a waveform, and then pass it through a lowpass filter. bam, nothing creative. that's not my main issue though. My main issue is, that I feel like the worst musician ever. I know that I'm a horrible person for saying this, but I hate it, when someone newer to music than me, makes something better than what I made. I can't enjoy new people's tracks, and am nitpicking, like "the hat here is 0.1 db too loud" or " needs better mixing". And when it comes to music that I make, I can't make melodies at all. My best song, which I'm still kind of proud of is basically only a cliched electro house sounding pattern (I've found myself abusing patterns that are on one pitch for a dotted half note, and only have other pitches in the last quarter note) and the chord progression was taken DIRECTLY from the original song it was a remix of. I am very jealous of people who can make stuff sound right while I can't. I can't determine if a song is offkey, because dissonance sounds as good to me as consonance. I am mean to people on irc just because. I also am extremely insecure. I remember hating d-notive's songs because they were so good compared to mine and I though he was a newbie, which I am VERY ashamed of.

I agree with this. I know I'm regarded as pretty good by most people who listen to my stuff, but I still think others around here are leaps and bounds better. Just remember this: You are your own worst critic. Songs like Sweet Child 'o' Mine and Fight for your Right to Party were intended as jokes, yet they're both classics (Party was a direct parody of who they attracted and Child's iconic opening riff was a string skipping exercise Slash practiced with)

[senntenial]

pretty much me about those who are younger and better
but then I realise that they are good in certain areas, and I am better in others. Like I-Pie with 8-bit or Omnipony with Dubstep.

[TheSunAndTheRainfall]

I never though I'd feel the need to write in this. I'll be as honest as possible.
Everyone keeps praising my sound design, but I don't see anything new in what sounds I make. It feels like the only thing you can do to your sounds, is to take a waveform, and then pass it through a lowpass filter. bam, nothing creative. that's not my main issue though. My main issue is, that I feel like the worst musician ever. I know that I'm a horrible person for saying this, but I hate it, when someone newer to music than me, makes something better than what I made. I can't enjoy new people's tracks, and am nitpicking, like "the hat here is 0.1 db too loud" or " needs better mixing". And when it comes to music that I make, I can't make melodies at all. My best song, which I'm still kind of proud of is basically only a cliched electro house sounding pattern (I've found myself abusing patterns that are on one pitch for a dotted half note, and only have other pitches in the last quarter note) and the chord progression was taken DIRECTLY from the original song it was a remix of. I am very jealous of people who can make stuff sound right while I can't. I can't determine if a song is offkey, because dissonance sounds as good to me as consonance. I am mean to people on irc just because. I also am extremely insecure. I remember hating d-notive's songs because they were so good compared to mine and I though he was a newbie, which I am VERY ashamed of.

Oh Bart. :c I don't know if it helps, but I'm guilty of those very same things often too, and I hate it as well. I keep putting people down in my head over the most ridiculous things, trying to convince myself that I'm so much better than them because they're just starting out or something, yet whenever I look back at myself I don't see anything to be proud of, or at least feel remotely happy about. And I'm not proud of this at all. The only thing I've found helpful is to ask around and try to learn from what I envy, make an effort to swallow all those hard feelings, and try to turn those "I'll never be this good" feelings into fuel to make something that compares.

Also, I've been feeling a little... boxed, in regards to the music and sounds I make. As of lately, I've been feeling that I just keep following the same recipe over and over again, and it's nothing fresh nor exciting. I don't know if this is what you meant at the beginning of your paragraph, but I've been wanting to branch out for the longest time. That's why I started seeking out collabs; I'm sure we can all learn from each other.

I know those kinds of thoughts are poison, and can leave you bitter and kind of estranged, but I'm sure if we all make an effort to ask for help and help in return, there won't be any need to feel that way anymore. I hope.

[Freewave]

Bah, I try to review other's music because I can tell them what I like about and I can recommend what they can improve but I'm hardly the one who can tell them very technical ways to get improve sounds and I'm just not a good melody/song writer myself. I stick to remixing mostly because its faster (the thought of working on a track for a month just seems way too long) and because I'm starting with something that at least has a good music structure to begin with. I'm sure I'm doing many things wrong in how I produce and master. It's best to know your flaws and work around them then to feel self-doubt or try to be something that you are not yet. Don't beat yourselves up guys and realize that there will always be people with better talent then yourself and try to not feel jealous or doubt but ultimately we're just trying to do our best and that's all we can do. I don't know how many of us are really planning on doing this professionally (making a living) in the future (I'm not) so its kind of silly to feel a bunch of bad feelings about something we should feel good about and we're doing just for fun and the love of doing it. Of course if you're really aren't having fun making music channel your efforts in different ways where you can feel good about contributing something.