<WIP> <Rap Ballad> "Cool" (looking for feedback)

[bigBerd]

So I've got this project in its early stages. It's a story that serves as a crossover between the FiM universe and the saga of Lupe Fiasco's "The Cool" (more info).



So there's my rap. The instrumental was produced by [voodoopony] MLR thread, Youtube vid

And here are the lyrics if you wanna follow along

I'd like to know what y'all think of the story, whether or not it was easy to follow (I'm trying to not be too esoteric), my delivery, etc. Thanks for listening!

[[voodoopony]]

I don't know Lupe Fiasco but this sounds badass, friend.

[AerieFlew]

Haha totally awesome
Fiasco is good and I like the idea of this...
How long you been rapping?

[bigBerd]

I've been rapping for about four years now. It's never really been more than a hobby though.

[AerieFlew]

It sound pretty awesome