<pony><original><orchestral> Day (updated)

[Callenby]

https://soundcloud.com/callenby/day-wip/s-y72fm

I decided to turn Dawn into a four-part series. Day is the second piece, with the next two being Dusk and Night. So far I'm liking this considerably more than Dawn.

Specific things:
1. As with Dawn, I like the idea of foregoing ternary form and instead having the piece evolve over several sections (you know, the way an actual day would). So, does this sound unified and like it's a complete piece?
2. Also like I did for Dawn, I'd prefer to keep it to strings if possible (I think it presents a unique challenge for this whole project), though I won't rule out adding something if it isn't too much more work (I'm a little overbooked at the moment).
3. I'm experimenting with the idea of focusing on one different string technique for each piece. For Dawn it was legato, for this it's pizzicato. What do you think I should do for the next two entries (right now I'm thinking staccato for Dusk and tremolo for Night)? Do you think this piece (and/or the next two) should do more than that?
4. What do you think of the violin parts? They're somewhat experimental, but I kind of like them.
5. The last section ends abruptly because I'm not finished with it yet. When I do, do you think that will be enough or should I add a third section? Right now I don't think a third section is really necessary.
6. How's the reverb? I'm just using Cinematic Strings's internal program.

[Callenby]

Nothing? Well, here's an update anyway.

https://soundcloud.com/callenby/day-wip-2

It should be very near completion. Not sure if I should boost the volume a bit or not.

[CitricAcid]

I missed seeing this the first time around, otherwise I might have said something.

Anyways, if you were to decide that it's done at this point, I wouldn't oppose you. It sounds pretty good.

I have a couple of opinions that I'll express. These are by no means critiques, though.
1. I could go for a touch more dynamic range. Just riding the faders with the energy of the piece should do the trick.
2. This much pizzicato sends a "silly" vibe to me. Silly isn't bad, though. I think it would be cool to hear a little "silly" percussion in there too. Not necessarily vibraslaps or siren whistles, but something mildly silly, like a splash cymbal. Just used as stings at the end of phrases and in silent parts.
3. I have to wonder how an ensemble of string players would react to seeing/playing a piece made up entirely of pizzicato notes.
4. The ending would feel soooo much better to me if you ended on one long arco note. To give the audience a rest from all the plucking.

[Injustrial]

As stated many times before: I don't know anything about the technical side of music. I'm coming at this from a listener's place. A listener in love with Neo-classicism.

I like how the first part feels like an "awakening" as the morning dawns. It slowly gets more energetic through the day, as more and more are waking up. I think an additional synth would work here. At about 0:57, I think a new, subtle melody could add a lot, letting it go at 1:56, when the next part takes over.

This reminds me a lot of the Russian style music a friend of mine makes. A lot of the same plucky sounds and the scales seem very similar. (Is it Dorian?)

The way the volume increases towards the end made this more interesting and lively than it would have been, had you left it out. Perhaps another, not so powerful, increase + drop would be cool to create some variation? Between 0:57 and 1:10 could be a good place.

I'm sorry for being so vague and using very "airy" words here, but I hope I gave you something useful, at least. Keep up the good work, this was a nice change of pace for me

[Callenby]

Thank you both for the feedback!

CitricAcid:
Yeah, I probably could have done more with dynamics.
Silly was not the mood I had in mind, but it still isn't too far from the bouncy, active feeling that I did intend. That being said, I don't think I would intentionally make it any sillier; it's not really my style. I just liked the idea of keeping this all pizz.
They'd probably hate me and their fresh, bleeding calluses. Good thing I used nonjudgmental, fictional performers.
I get what you're saying about making the final chord arco, but it seems a little incongruous to me. I very nearly made it a Bartók pizz, but it didn't feel like the rest led up to it enough.

Injustrial:
A listener's perspective is still perfectly valid, so don't worry about that.
One of my goals with this whole series is to eschew melodies, or at least traditional ones. It's not quite ambient, but I wanted something more...atmospheric, I guess. Abstract.
No fancy modes or Russian scales here, just regular keys. A major, C major, and then F major.
As I said above, yes, I could have improved the dynamics.
Really, don't worry about it. You're fine.

This morning I sent in my laptop to be serviced for a technical issue, so I'm in the awkward position of not actually being able to act on any advice for about a week. Besides, I have other things I really should be working on, but I always appreciate feedback.