Friendship is Music: Letters to Celestia

[Overkillius]

For Some reason I thought this would be a good Idea.

Obviously exactly like the show, where twilight reports what she learned about friendship, but music... and maybe a little goofy.

I'll start.

Dear Princess Trollestia,
Today I learned that kazoos don't sound good with woodwinds. I tried recording me on kazoo playing along with a flute, but I decided to delete it because it sounded horrible. In the end I learned that you shouldn't essentially mix raspberries with mashed potatoes in a musical composition, You should stick with peanut butter and chocolate.

Your faithful student, Overkillius

PS But seriously, I had a nice thing going and then I got frustrated... Maybe a kazoo choir?

[Dr_Dissonance]

Dear Princess Celestia,

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MA BOOTS!

Your faithful student,

Woody

[Aussie]

Dear Princess Cel/Troll/Mollestia,
Today I learned that using synths without presets is very hard and frustrating when you have no idea what you're doing, or what you plan on doing. I also learned that it's easy to lose an MLP toy brush even in the most secure of pockets if you go on a waterpark slide.

[PinkieGuy]

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learnt that without friends trying to get in contact with you as they have been for the past week, you're much more likely to sleep through the whole morning and only awaken in the afternoon. I also learnt that an idea that will only take a minute to jot down will turn into 2 hours of mixing dubstep.

Your Faithful Student,
PinkieGuy

[Interrobang Pie]

Dear Princess Celestia,

Fuck trying to find good sounding instruments. I'll keep using synth.

Your faithful student,
Interrobang Pie

[Senator Myth]

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that writing string quartets is a lot harder than it looks, and I gained even more respect for Overkillius's mad composition skillz. Usually I like to put things within, above, below, and beyond in the mix to create a fuller sound, but when forced to use a much simpler setup, I sort of panic. Luckily I've mostly gotten over it.

I also learned that avoiding parallel fifths and octaves is actually a really good idea in this setup. That awful, awful drone will likely show up in my nightmares.

I also learned that the folk and church music of Western Europe and the Near East is infinitely superior to those of any other culture. Seriously, they use a bunch of crazy awesome modes and stuff all the time evidently.

I also learned--SHOO BE DOO SHOO SHOO BE DOO

Your Faithful Student,
Senator Myth

[Dr_Dissonance]

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have discovered that I write nice music people will like really quickly and efficiently...yet the music I enjoy writing takes a lot longer to write to a decent quality!
Case in point, what was I even thinking here???



You'd better appreciate what I do! I hope you'll like it!
Anyway, maybe it's just because I'm tired...

Goodnight!
Your unfaithful student,
Dr Dissonance

P.S. If you see Senator Myth around, please tell him: SHOO BE DOO SHOO SHOO BE DOO!

[Overkillius]

Dear Princess Celestia,

HOW THE APPLEBUCK DO YOU READ THIS? I thought I knew what sheet music was, but this is blowing my mind more than those concerts featuring actual 3-d holograms and the singing is done by a machine.

I understand the c doublesharp against the d I think. you would just play the same note on different strings right? what about the weird beaming though? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

[Dr_Dissonance]

HOW THE APPLEBUCK DO YOU READ THIS? I thought I knew what sheet music was, but this is blowing my mind more than those concerts featuring actual 3-d holograms and the singing is done by a machine.

I understand the c doublesharp against the d I think. you would just play the same note on different strings right? what about the weird beaming though? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Dear Princess Celestia,

One of your subjects wishes to ask me questions, so I shall answer, if that's alright with you, oh graceful one.

That "C doublesharp" is actually a "C 3/4 sharp" and is played on a different string than the D, which is an open note.

The weird beamings are "feathered beams" and tell the performer to speed up or slow down according to the direction the beam goes.

ord. means 'ordinary', so play normally.
ord. LH means 'ordinary left hand', so the fingered hand becomes normal.
LH.Fl means 'Left hand Flautando', so finger each note very lightly to still get the pitch, but a ghostly sound at the same time.
m.s.p means 'molto sul ponticello', so bow as close to the bridge as you can.
m.s.t means 'molto sul tasto', so bow as far up the neck as you can.
The line with a semicircle through it in the bottom left means to bow on the bridge, creating a squealy, non-pitched sound.
The notes with a line through the corner and in a box mean to repeat and play the pattern as fast as you can.
The circle with the arrow in it means to play circular bowing (moving back and forth between the bridge and neck of the instrument in a circular motion) as fast as you can.

Of course a lot of these techniques don't have common symbols, so some of these I explain at the beginning of the piece.

This would be close to impossible to play using a computer, due to the specific commands, so it'll be a live piece!

Thanks for your time your majesty,

Your faithful student,

Dr Dissonance

[Overkillius]

Dear Princess Celestia,

I learned alot today.

Apparently people care about deliberate quarter tones in music. I learned to sing a quarter tone scale as best I could, but I never thought it would present any use. Maybe when I grow up to be a scary atonal composer I'll be awesome somehow with choral pieces no one will want to sing :[ so then I'll default to instruments because they know where its at. I haven't quite figured out how to get there yet though.

Also if you take an idea and run with it, it can become fun... or dangerous. whichever. Just don't think about scissors while running?

Your faithful student, Overkillius

[Senator Myth]

Dear Princess Celestia,


He has a PhD in dissonance,
even though he is still working toward his bachelor's in music.


Whenever his stories get posted to Equestria Daily, its readers run screaming in terror.
Even those browsing in No Fanfiction Mode.


On a forum he used to frequent, a bot named n1t3m4r3m00n once made a thread in which it declared its omnicidally maniacal intentions in a post riddled with spelling and grammar errors.
He greeted it politely.


He is... the Most Dissonant Doctor in the World.


He doesn't always compose for live string ensembles, but when he does, he prefers to include elaborate instructions for the performers to produce the most terrifying and awesome sound possible.



Stay dissonant, my friends.

Your faithful student,
Senator Myth

[Kumquaticus]

Dear Princess Celestia,
He has a PhD in dissonance,
even though he is still working toward his bachelor's in music...

Dear Princess Celestia,

HOLY CRAP

Your failful student,
Kumquat.

[RobotPony]

Dear Princess Celestia,
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Your faithful student,
RobotPony

Also, Dr. Dissonance, when will I be able to hear this incomprehensible song of yours? I think that hearing it will be the only way to make any sense of what you said.

[Dr_Dissonance]

Dear Princess Celestia,
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
YOUTUBE
Your faithful student,
RobotPony

Also, Dr. Dissonance, when will I be able to hear this incomprehensible song of yours? I think that hearing it will be the only way to make any sense of what you said.

That was weird...

And not for a good few months! It's something for live performance, so needs finishing, then needs practicing extensively, then needs performing/recording, then needs mixing etc...I'm not sure if it'll be ready for the next concert in August, so we'll see!

Oh and hi Princess Celestia!

[RobotPony]

Dear Princess Celestia,
Can you transport me several months into the future so I can hear this song, mentioned above? Then, preferably transport me back here so I can get on my life, as me missing for several months isn't exactly the best idea ever. I know you're busy, but I need my soul back from that awful perfomance in the youtube video above. So, just this once, pwetty pwease?

Your faithful student,
RobotPony

[Princess Celestia]

My dearest and most faithful student Dr_Dissonance,

I do so love your long, verbose letters I receive from you so constantly and without fail, and I want you to know how much they are appreciated. But I write to you quite un-amused to discuss that which is NOT appreciated: If one of my faithful subjects wishes to speak with you, you may do so among yourselves. I cannot be bothered with your petty squabbles on such a continual basis; every single letter, EVERY DAMNED LETTER I have received from you for the last MONTH....

Pardon me.

I hope you understand, Dr_Dissonance, that royal duty calls, and I have a sun to raise for you every day. I hope to hear from you in the future, but please remember to keep it short.

Your beloved and merciful ruler
Princess Celestia



My most faithful subject Senator Myth,

I am fully aware of Dr_Dissonance's....tendencies. As your ruler and mentor, I advise you to be cautious in your interactions with him. He cannot be trusted. I have a new assignment for you, but you are not to disclose this to anyone; if you speak a word of it you shall loose your head: Watch him; I want to know his every move, every little vexatious peep he makes, every little nuance and idiosyncrasy this maniacal mad pony possess. His treachery will be short lived.

Your Kind and reasonable leader,
Princess Celestia


My dear subject Kumquaticus,

Holy crap indeed.

Your freaking princess,
Celestia



My dearest and most amusing subject RobotPony,

How charming, you must think, that it is to publicly display such wretched and detestable filth in my royal court. You have your warning, my little robotic pony; mark my words, it will not be tolerated again.
And I don't have a f***ing time machine.

Your kind and noble leader,
Princess Celestia

[Overkillius]

Dear Dr. Dissonance Princess Celestia,

Today I learned to jump to assumptions and try blindly to call out people, even though role playing might be more fun.

Your faithful student, Overkillius

[Interrobang Pie]

Dear Princess Celestia,

how do i this

Your faithful jealous as fuck student,
Interrobang Pie

[Dr_Dissonance]

Dear Princess Celestia,

You seem to have sent me a letter addressed to Senator Myth. I haven't read it, in case it's private, but I'm writing to ask whether it is actually for me or not?

Love

Dr Dissonance

[Princess Celestia]

My dearest assumptive little prick student Overkillius,

Though I take great offense to your accusation, I do find your pathetic fault-finding to be somewhat entertaining. For now I will forbear your damnation, consider this your first written warning. Your next will be a verbal warning; it would be wise hold your tongue, your chastisement will be...uncomfortable.
Keep this up and I will end you.

Your merciful and generous ruler,
Princess Celestia


My most noble subject Interrobang Pie,

I caution you, for your well-being, to not trifle with such dark arts. The influence of the elements of discord stretches wide and penetrates deep within the land. Touch not the unclean thing. There is nothing more to discuss.

Your generous and wise leader,
Princess Celestia



My most faithful student Dr_Dissonance,

I'm am so deeply sorry for the apparent mistake, the mail-ponies have been on strike for nearly 3 weeks and I've been forced to use outside help to keep things running smoothly. Sometimes they make some slip-ups. Please do not open the letter or read it, it is private discussion with Senator Myth about a matter most confidential.
Thank you for your understanding.

Your most sincere and noble leader,
Princess Celestia

[Senator Myth]

Dear Princess Celestia,

I've become convinced, due to the recent weirdness involving ironic letter mix-ups and such, that this thread is going to become extremely prolific and influential. It is going to have dynamic characters, overarching plotlines, political intrigue, and disappointing season finales. It will develop a huge fandom on the internet and a frighteningly large shipping community (Overkillius x InterrobangPie is OTP!!!!1`1!). Lauren Faust, Jayson Thiessen, and Daniel Ingram, among others, will become rabid fans of this thread. They will fanatically refresh My Little Remix: Letters to Celestia Thread Daily every hour, on the hour, in hopes of new content they'll be interested in, including DrDissonance plushies and fan music about fan musicians.

Since the creators will become the fans of the fandom and thus the fans will become the creators and vice-versa, I'm convinced that this will lead to a bizarre conceptual Möbius strip of fandomocracy.

This in turn will lead to the very unravelling of space-time and cause reality to implode upon itself. As such, I urge you to end this thread immediately and as soon as possible. If you must, destroy our universe that the universes beyond continue to thrive and exist.

And no, don't just f***ing tell me to stop reading books and go make some friends. That's what I was trying to do here, and because of it the end of the world is nigh. Please, Princess. I implore you.

Your faithful and very worried student,
Senator Myth

[Overkillius]

Dear Princess Celestia,

Don't worry. Derpy hooves grew 6 more wings!

Hopefully she doesn't grow anymore in the development or the recapitulation though.

Your faithful student, Overkillius

[Interrobang Pie]

(Overkillius x InterrobangPie is OTP!!!!1`1!)

It is a shame I do not know Overkilius that well because otherwise I would totally write another homoerotic fanfic.

[Overkillius]

(Overkillius x InterrobangPie is OTP!!!!1`1!)

It is a shame I do not know Overkilius that well because otherwise I would totally write another homoerotic fanfic.

Dear Princess Celestia,

No thanks.

Your faithful student, Overkillius

[Versilaryan]

Dear Princess Celestia,

The word "clop", as used in various brony communities (IE, clopfiction), has recently come to my attention, as I am not aware of what the word means. The only definition of the world "clop" that I am familiar with is an onomatopoeia for the sound pony hooves make when they strike the ground when walking; however, I am at least aware that this is not the context in which this word is being used.

Would you be so kind as to enlighten me about what this word means?

I look forward to your infinite wisdom in solving this matter!

Your faithful student,
Versilaryan