Rainbow & Rooted: One Last Shot

[Nexgen]

BAMPOW

I came.

[R-Y-S-E]

The album art alone makes me wanna participate

[Ocular]

would you guys accept something like this?

https://soundcloud.com/miskreant

[Wisp]

That album art is brilliant!

[TheAnonymousColt]

would you guys accept something like this?

https://soundcloud.com/miskreant

I like it. A bit of constructive criticism if I may?


This is just my preference, but i would go with a beefier, punchier snare instead of the Tom-heavy snare you use.

Also, the song at the core feels like it's missing something. There needs to be something else in the bassy parts, but i'm not sure what.

8/10, would put on this album

[DXsmiley]

would you guys accept something like this?

https://soundcloud.com/miskreant

I agree with what TheAnonymousColt said. However, the whole way through I was expecting a melody which never came, leaving me feeling rather dissatisfied on the whole.


Anyhow, here's my work in progress.

[Ocular]

Well it's techstep, there's not much of a melody

[CommandSpry]

Rule #1300130038

When offered constructive criticism, never claim it's because it's X genre. Producers know what genre it is.

it sounds very hollow, you need a more impactful snare, and a bigger kick to carry the song, otherwise it's very empty

[Jokeblue]

would you guys accept something like this?

https://soundcloud.com/miskreant

Well it's techstep, there's not much of a melody

Hmm. I still reckon it needs something to balance it out. You introduce a really interesting melody at the beginning, but then the main focus of the song becomes a low frequency wub fest with not much else happening. In that sense it doesn't yet have a strong enough texture, and becomes quite lacking in dynamic. Like, I feel it really needs some Mids and highs to balance it out. You've only got those two instrument lines happening. So...maybe take your main melody line from the beginning, throw some magic on it, and try and find away to get a fleshy full texture. It does need something more.

Also, maybe have like a build up in dynamic and textural layers towards the end or change them around in different sections throughout the song - just really build it up and give it a more fleshed out feel. Specific genre or not, the song is still lacking that hook, that one part of it that pulls you in and makes the song memorable, y'know?

Though, then again this is just completely my opinion.

Also, the song at the core feels like it's missing something. There needs to be something else in the bassy parts, but i'm not sure what.

I agree with what TheAnonymousColt said. However, the whole way through I was expecting a melody which never came, leaving me feeling rather dissatisfied on the whole.

Well, maybe not just my opinion, but what i'm getting at is just more, like, play around with it and try to get it to sound more full. Don't think this is me telling you the be all and end all of what your song needs be, and I really dont want to tell you what to do with your song (Cos it's yours ). I know I hate it when people tell me to rewrite something i've just finished off and don't really want to change. But yeah. it does need more, so maybe just play around and see if you can't add more or something interesting and/or contrasting to it

It's a good song that has plenty of potential though, I can tell you that. Hope I helped somewhat

Though, is it a WIP?

[Ocular]

Yeah, it's a WIP

[Jokeblue]

Ah, Good~o! I'd say deffinatley just play around with it a little, then. I know I've said that alot now

[serratedskies]

It said something about getting feedback on what was good and what should be changed? Can I get some of that?

Again plz read whats been said recently in the thread. If you can't give feedback TO other people don't expect to get some FROM people. It has to be a 2 way street when you come here.

Didn't see that, but I'd be glad to!

[CommandSpry]

then uh..do it?

[Wisp]

It said something about getting feedback on what was good and what should be changed? Can I get some of that?

Here's some unorganized feedback:
The kick is way too quiet. When the song gets going, it gets really hard to hear it or even notice it. Nice punchy snare, though even that could stand to be louder. Some proper compression could fix that.
I really like the feel of this song.
The instruments you use sound really good. The drum beats are also placed very well, and sound really good.
I don't really have much else to say, because I really liked it overall!

Here's a WIP of my track for this. If someone could give me some feedback, that would be excellent.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/172027973/One%20Last%20Shot%20WIP.wav

[R-Y-S-E]

You see, that's a trick only the most professional musicians and magicians (we're related by phonetics) know. Now, watch as I make the track... REAPPEAR!
*poof*
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/600 ... 20Dash.mp3

WALLAH!

Sorry I took my time. Here's some feedback. Through the song (except the very start), mainly the middle of it, the beat/percussion could be slightly - just a tad - louder (except the kick, I like the kick). The transition at 1:46 sounded a bit... abrupt to me and took away from the flow of the track before that which I enjoyed. Loved the bass after that part though, except it seemed a bit too loud in comparison to all the other sounds. Again just after 2:30. Also the piano that comes in at 2:00 might sound better with a bit more reverb to make it sound a bit softer (also back at 1:05). Really enjoyed the melodies around this part though, and enjoyed all the variation in this track overall. Outro seems a bit unusual though, I'm not sure what I'd suggest though

Here's a WIP of my track for this. If someone could give me some feedback, that would be excellent.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/172 ... %20WIP.wav

Nice intro. I like how the volume pulses at the start. The buildup was good. The kicks sounded kinda like blips though and could be more powerful. Also, I think after the drop the lead sounds kinda out of tune compared to the melody in the build up. The tune was very enjoyable though and the transitions work well. I liked the melodic part at 1:55. The drum effect at 2:00 is too quiet imo. Also, I think the transition at 2:09 could be replaced with the two melodies blending into each other cause they're so similar. I much preferred the drop at 2:26. Nice outro. Enjoyed it overall, and I think the sounds varied enough, but there could be slight changes to the tune as all the different sounds seemed to have the same tune all the way through (except at the start).

( BTW, hopefully this feedback is useful, cause I'm not using the best headphones at the moment )

[Wisp]

Thanks for the feedback!

[DXsmiley]

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/172027973/One%20Last%20Shot%20WIP.wav

Here's by rather disjointed feedback, written as a was listening.

Synth at start overpowered by static burst (it's a lovely synth though).
Drums at 0:14 sound like they're clipping (or just distorted).
Really good drop, however I think you should add a harmony to the main melody.
1:40 Drums really clipping (especially snare).
2:22 Beeping noise has some really high frequencies attached to it. I find them physically painful.
Yay, a harmony

Overall It's a good song, but more variation in the melody would be nice.


And here's my WIP:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/454 ... %20WIP.mp3

[Wisp]

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/172027973/One%20Last%20Shot%20WIP.wav

Here's by rather disjointed feedback, written as a was listening.

Synth at start overpowered by static burst (it's a lovely synth though).
Drums at 0:14 sound like they're clipping (or just distorted).
Really good drop, however I think you should add a harmony to the main melody.
1:40 Drums really clipping (especially snare).
2:22 Beeping noise has some really high frequencies attached to it. I find them physically painful.
Yay, a harmony

Overall It's a good song, but more variation in the melody would be nice.


And here's my WIP:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/454 ... %20WIP.mp3

Thanks a bunch for the feedback! I'll definitely vary up the song some more during the drop.

Now I'll give you some feedback:
Nice intro, but I feel like it goes on for too long.
Very nice synths. I'm not sure, but it feels like some of the synths might be a little off the beat. I'm not sure though. I could be wrong.
I like the feel of the song a lot. The melody is also good.
I feel like the ending was a little weak, but maybe that's just personal preference.

Overall, I liked it!

[Bronytastic]

Bronytastic [Feelsy]: I really love the synth design here, but the melody you start with is a little disoriently atonal. Also, after 0:36 you are doing a phaser effect with the lead synth where it pans back and forth… get rid of that. It’s really annoying when wearing headphones. Also, you have a lot to fit the high end of your song, but the lower end seems a little lacking. Try adding a bit more low end to the kick to fill it out, and maybe add another synth to play the chords in the lower end like you have after 1:14.

Thanks for that. I worked a bit to fix everything you mentioned. I don't know if the melody at the beginning is all that better now. But at least it sounds better now.
http://soundcloud.com/sky-torrent/misunderstanding-wip
(The track even has a name now ^.^)

And here's my WIP:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/454 ... %20WIP.mp3

Overall it is very pleasant to listen to and I really like that main melody and the synth.
However something with the low, snarky noize bass thing, that appears around the middle of the song irks me. It just sounds wrong... It's just me, but I'd suggest using a different synth there, best would be a nice square bass, I'd imagine, instead of just the noize. If you wanted to preserve the harshness there, you could also take some kind of detuned saw bass.

Oh, and in the beginning, I'd guess it is intended, but the bass there sound very off beat. As a personal preference, I don't like it too much, but it sounds okay.
Concerning the ending, I'd agree with Wisp.
It's a bit weak compared to the rest of the song and rather abrupt. With this kind of song, a slow fade-out-ish ending would totally suit. Just be careful it is not too boring.

Hope this helps.

~Torrent

[Symphon]

@Ryse: Thanks for all the feedback. Fixed everything. c: Except the transitions and outro... But I kinda wanted them to be abrupt (as weird as they are), so I'm not too worried.

[Belgerum]

Well, this thread looks to be much more productive than others I've seen. Might as well drop my WIP, ask for some much needed advice on it and such, (I've been trying to work on my mixing/mastering/sounding good)and give some other people feedback, despite being inferior to almost everypony here.

Direct:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/45k ... HBmqKx6osg
DL for those who can't do direct:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/45knifate7dcg ... ystals.mp3

I hope you guys like 11/8 and 14/8 time.

I worked a bit to fix everything you mentioned. I don't know if the melody at the beginning is all that better now. But at least it sounds better now.
http://soundcloud.com/sky-torrent/misunderstanding-wip
(The track even has a name now ^.^)

Firstly, looking at the previous comments without listening to the previous version, I don't hear anything that sounds too atonal, the low end is fine, and all the above don't seem to apply much anymore, at least to my ear. Sounds like you fixed it.

Considering the rather abrupt and unsatisfying ending, I assume you plan to add more material to the end of this. I don't know what you're planning to add or where to go next, but in my opinion, since you've already cut the percussion and had slow crescendos twice, leading to the two bigger sections in what exists, I recommend not doing it again, for the sake of keeping the track from being too repetitive, but rather thinking of another way to make the track sound fresh with the repeating chordal structure and melodic material. Or better yet, add new chord or melodic material to keep it interesting.

That put aside, I like how it sounds a lot. =)

If anyone else wants some feedback on their things, I'll be following this thread for a little while, so feel free to ask.

[TheAnonymousColt]

I'm glad this thread hasn't turned into the atrocity the R&R thread became...I guess i'll post a WIP soon...

[AJ_]

So a whole new track... not the one intended for R&R?
If so, I am going to work on it tomorrow.

[Jokeblue]

I'm glad this thread hasn't turned into the atrocity the R&R thread became...

We all know the terrible fate that may become of this thread.

Once Judgement day comes, and the good, chosen tracks ascend to album tier, the bitter and the damned will bring their fury upon the threads, and they shall wail and moan, and there will be much cursing and gnashing of teeth of those who could not succeed in appeasing the judges lust for good music .

But hold fast in thy faith for the thread, my brother!

For it is foretold in the ancient letters to the Sun Goddess, that these unruly and wild forces of Isfet, the once pure; our brethren, who are overcome by the trickery and honeyed words of the insidious spirit of chaos and who dare threaten the sacred balance of Maat, will break free of their shackles of anger and unhappiness and learn the true value of harmony and friendship, and bring joy to the forums, for one and all to share!


....Aaaaand now not even I know what i'm talking about anymore. I started writing this like 4 hours ago, got bored, left, and tried to keep going. Blargh.

[Retrotype]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27IoezqfxiE