The hugging/venting thread

[Ocular]

I can't handle school anymore.
I've always been a straight A student, but I'm not sure how much longer that's gonna last.
Every single night I do homework from 3:00 PM to 1:00 AM, and I still don't finish everything.
Tonight I have a 4 page essay to write for English, an English project to work on, English homework, a 1 page essay in Earth Science, a problem set for geometry, etc, etc, etc. I'm going to fucking fail just because of my stupid fucking English teacher. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME.

[Acsii]

your english teacher is a dick for giving 3 bits of work to do

[ExoBassTix]

I can't handle school anymore.
I've always been a straight A student, but I'm not sure how much longer that's gonna last.
Every single night I do homework from 3:00 PM to 1:00 AM, and I still don't finish everything.
Tonight I have a 4 page essay to write for English, an English project to work on, English homework, a 1 page essay in Earth Science, a problem set for geometry, etc, etc, etc. I'm going to fucking fail just because of my stupid fucking English teacher. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME.

So much the same as here.
Someone kill us.

Or shall we shoot each other?

[Freewave]

After a week preparing for several days off and planning to work on various tracks (new and older ones for fixing for the next album) and get one completed I went all the way to Wed late afternoon and still didn't have a single track finished for the week. I was going to collpase into a crying and tired mess (like Rarity) but i was both too tired and realized that i did the best with what i could. I put IN the time and made a lot of headway on several tracks and they are that much closer to completion. Music just takes SOooo much time to get a track done WELL that it's naturally frustrating many times. The completing stage is always the hardest hurdle.

Instead of throwing up my hands, taking a break, and getting an early rest i spent 2 more hours last night and got even further progress on a track done. If I didn't enjoy doing it i would stop but that's why you just keep plugging along. It's a marathon and not a race and even a fun activity is still going to be a lot of work. Once you realize that it's just that easier to pick yourself up and keep moving along.

[Pickslide1992]

That moment when something you worked sweat and toil on is criticized to Hell and back. In other words, I'm harshly reminded why I cannot be confident on anything anymore. I mean I realize criticism is a part of life and I have to suck it up and deal with it, but my lack of self-esteem forces me to take it to heart when I really shouldn't. It doesn't make me want to quit, but rather discouraged.

[Lying Pink]

...and the depression's back. Joy. It tends to get aggravated when I feel trapped in a situation that's stressing me out. I currently feel trapped in a situation that's stressing me out, so... yeah.
I spent over half a year trying to find a job in the city where I went to university so I could move back, finally found a job, moved back, don't have time to see any of my friends, I feel isolated, I don't have much money at all and I'm on initial probation for a while. Kind of feel like I'm working a job that's stressing me out in order to carry on living in this city so I can carry on working a job that's stressing me out. Music and occasionally chatting to friends are the only things I'm doing with my life at the moment which give me any pleasure.
Think I'm fine for the time being. My main worry is if the depression gets worse and I'm not in a state to realise and get myself out of the situation.

[topitmunkeydog]

Good news! My sister finally told us that the Instagram account was indeed hers. She said she had cut a few times but found it to be not helpful. So she turned to writing to relieve stress. She's going to therapy now so that's good.

Lying Pink, what is keeping you in that city? Your situation seems to be stagnating and that might mean starting over. I know it's not that simple but I hope things will get better for you :3

[Lying Pink]

Good news! My sister finally told us that the Instagram account was indeed hers. She said she had cut a few times but found it to be not helpful. So she turned to writing to relieve stress. She's going to therapy now so that's good.

That's really good to hear. I hope it helps her through it.

Lying Pink, what is keeping you in that city? Your situation seems to be stagnating and that might mean starting over. I know it's not that simple but I hope things will get better for you :3

Thanks I'm still hoping that it'll get better. Once the probation's over, that'll be a weight off my mind, and I'm hoping to eventually move closer to the bit of the city where more people who I know live. Besides, it's really hard to find a job at the moment -- if I just give up and move back with my family (I couldn't really move somewhere else -- money constraints) it might be a long time before I find something, or when I do it mightn't be any better than this. My plan is to stick with it a little longer and hopefully find a job that's more suited to me eventually. Then again, you could be right I'll haveta see how it goes...

[Pickslide1992]

Oh dear, those thoughts of giving up are coming back in droves. Discouragement, inadequacy, all of it. I'm sorry if I'm clogging the thread from people with REAL problems, but all the same, I think I'm done.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

so I was away from school for a few days due to illness. During which time the due date for my Drama Assignment was changed from the 18th of this month to tomorrow.

And nobody fucking told me.

[Pickslide1992]

Have you tried telling your teacher? If it is a serious assignment and the deadline suddenly appeared, yet you were out, try explaining the situation.

[ExoBassTix]

I'm fucked.


So it's holiday now. Just started. Will take two weeks. Week after holiday, I'll go to Cambridge with my class (and other two bilingual classes).
I got a shitload of homework for the week after that:
Finish biology project, finish French project AND presentation, finsh reading book for English, finish presentation for cultural education, finish (major) assignment for geography, learn for German and maths test, and some exercises for chemistry and history (history is horrible).

Oh, and finish a list of what I expect that England will be like.

Thing is, none of those things (but the book and chemisty exercises) I can do on my own without help. And what if my only source of help is mom, and she decides to walk away after 15 minutes, with an irritated look on her face (typical for her), saying "I can't do this, I'm pretty sure you can manage by yourself"?


I don't know.





No good marks, no good future...
And this pressure is making it even harder to try and do this on my own (which is already impossible).
And it's also causing me to not be able to work on my music, which means that I might fuck up my wishes for Rainbow & Rooted and Rainblood & Vomit (and maybe Four To The Floor 2 (sorry Chip, I've already told you, (at least tried to,) I'm not gonna work on it unless I magically work my way through everything else)).

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
... I never swear like this on the internet...

[Nine Volt]

What grade are you in? You have a lot more classes than I do :/
All i've got is English, World History, Spanish, Geometry, Physics, and my elective Intro to Electronic Music (then freshman seminar/gym)
well ok only two more (technically 3, freshman seminar and gym don't really count).

Especially if you're actually only 14. 3 languages? 9 classes total? Sholy hit.
So you can't get in contact with any of your teachers (by email or something)? Or maybe get some friends to help?

[Ocular]

Damn, I wish my school offered electronic music classes.

[ExoBassTix]

What grade are you in? You have a lot more classes than I do :/

Well, I'm not sure in what grade I am according to the American educational system, but in the Dutch educational system, one could state that I'm in third grade of high school. This means that I'm in my third year of high school. Next year (if I pass), I'll have a smaller group of selected subjects.

I currently have Dutch, English, French, German, economy, maths, physics, chemistry, history, geography, cultural education, handicraft/drawing (uuuuuugh, why), and gymnastics. That'll change next year, as I said.

Oh, and on friday I have geocaching and golf, which only (some of) my class have since we're a class of gifted kids n shit (yea, the heck with being subtle (or being able to be subtle for that matter)).

Damn, I wish my school offered electronic music classes.

I didn't even know that that's possible. Damn you, Americans!

[Nine Volt]

Damn you, Dutch educational system! In the American system (provided you weren't held back or skipped a grade) you'd be in either 8th grade (either the last grade of middle school (aka junior high) or the first grade of high school) or in 9th grade (the first year of high school, aka freshman year).

[ExoBassTix]

According to google translate (freshman), I was a freshman two years ago, when I started high school. Before high school, I was in primary school, obviously (which has group 1 u/i 8 in our system; after group 8 you go to the 1st grade on high school).

EDIT - middle school and high school translate to the same in Dutch, assuming google translate is right for once.

EDIT2 - and no, I haven't skipped a year/grade. I did skip group 5, but after that, I did group 6 twice (I switched schools (for the so maniest time)).

[Nine Volt]

Yeah at 14 you wouldn't be at the third grade in high school (junior year or 11th grade). You'd be 16 or 17.

[topitmunkeydog]

I was a bad personI was a bad personI was a bad person

[Nine Volt]

What's wrong with stoners, exactly? They're generally the chillest people you'll ever meet. Plus, be thankful it's not coke or meth or morphine or any of the multitude of much worse drugs you can take. Weed is among the least harmful, less so than nicotine or alcohol at least.

*disclaimer - I'm not a stoner, however, many of my friends are and they're all amazing people.

[Motivfs]

What's wrong with stoners, exactly? They're generally the chillest people you'll ever meet. Plus, be thankful it's not coke or meth or morphine or any of the multitude of much worse drugs you can take. Weed is among the least harmful, less so than nicotine or alcohol at least.

*disclaimer - I'm not a stoner, however, many of my friends are and they're all amazing people.

I concur with 9V. Unless he's like, an idiot stoner (someone who's high everywhere, all the time).

I've done it a few times, it's not a big deal, wayyyy better than someone who smokes cigarettes imo, and I also have a multitude of friends who do it as well.

[topitmunkeydog]

I don't know. He could be an idiot or not and I have no idea. Keep in mind though, I only met him for about fie minutes.
Most of all I'm hurt, and jealous. She obsessed over him at first sight. I'm not even sure that she's even talked to him before, even though this hullabaloo has lasted since the beginning of the school year.
And of course stoners aren't bad people. I just have an inexplicable aversion to drugs of any kind, including caffeine and alcohol. Don't question it, I don't know why besides that they gross me out. Ew.
I'd rant a bit on lovesick hopefulness but I will spare you that because I'm tired and stuff.

[Motivfs]

Yeah, I can understand where you're coming from then, I mean this is the hugging and VENTING thread after all.

I've known many girls who fall for guys at first site. It's frustrating, especially when you like the girl yourself. I'm not saying move on or anything, but how I've always felt is, in this case atleast, is that if she's infatuated with this other guy, you may as well keep your options open for others that fit the personality you like.

I understand it might be tough because you've liked her for so long and she's a really good friend to you, but to be honest, it looks as if you've built such a strong friendship with her, that a relationship would no longer seem fit, and rather, it would be awkward.

Remember, it's about searching for the right personality, always remember that. I'm 21, I've had a couple of girls who have liked me in the recent years (as I've said in this thread of late too), but they do not fit the person I am searching for, I might feel like a dick for letting them down.. But there is no point in going out with someone you don't actually have feelings for, and I've been on the other side of the spectrum as well, and can understand where you are coming from.

I feel like I'm mumbling on now..

[topitmunkeydog]

GOsh well GGOsh well GGOsh well GGOsh well GGOsh well GGOsh well G

[Motivfs]

Eh. I'm not the sort of person that seeks out a relationship. I'm 15, but I don't have crushes on people (besides this one person). I feel like if I was to enter a relationship with someone else, I wouldn't be happy and it would just be stressful. So I actually prefer it this way.
Weirdest thing is I have no idea what personality I'm looking for, as you say it. I mean, besides Fluttershy lol. I have such a huge crush on Fluttershy. You don't even know. But gosh I derailed myself so I'll stop talking about pegasi. But the girl I like is almost complete opposite of me. She is extremely brash, harsh, and opinionated (sometimes mean to people) whereas I'm shy about expressing my feelings and am sort of overly nice to people. I'm not saying that in a bad way though because to me she's just perfect (cue Billy Joel song)
So thanks for the advice, and I hope things work out for you too. For now I'm sticking with her though I might still have a chance.

Exactly me right there, although over the last year or so I've become more expressive.

I feel the same way about relationships honestly, at this time atleast, I'm prepping for post-secondary school now after saving up enough to pay for tuition without taking out a student loan, and with that, I feel I should solely focus on school and that a relationship would just be a roadblock.

As for that last part, if you feel you still have a chance, be persistent, even if she likes that I guy. Like I said, building a friendship with her is nice, and you're 15 so you're relatively young still, just don't let that friendship become the only thing you two have, don't let her be the one that got away (going cliche here..).

I've seen you constantly post about this girl, so I can only hope that you make your move sooner rather than later, and that all goes well. I wish you the best of luck.