Alycs wrote:Okay, first of all, the overall feel of the track is pretty good. The instruments seem to go together fairly well (except for maybe the synth you used for the melody, that seemed a little... 'displaced'... I would have used a sawtooth lead personally). Up until 0.33, I loved the beat you had going as well.
Sawtooth lead. Duly noted. Legitimately, it's stuff like that that I need advice on. Just something as simple as that. Thanks!
After that, it seemed that the piece became a little arrhythmic and atonal. As you were saying that you were aiming for a melody and trying to get away from the atonality, I'm going to focus on that for a little bit. Around 0.35, right after the synth came in, there was a measure that went out of the key signature that had been hinted at in the opening bars.
I unfortunately will have to admit that I have 0 musical theory knowledge. Keys, scales... I've been procrastinating on learning all that, and everything's starting to really pile up against me that I need to learn that.
So what exactly do you mean by that, the measure that went out of key? Was it the extra notes I added to make parts of the lead chords? (Bare with my simplistic wording, haha.)
Maybe instead of trying to just go with it, set up a key you're going to stay in, and then make sure you stay within that range for the most part. Otherwise, it ends up sounding very atonal and disjointed. However, if you want to go for that feel, then there are some more rules you have to follow, one of which is to stick to few key rhythmic themes.
Nope, haha, wasn't going for that feel at all. That's just my lack of knowledge showing through. :P
I felt that you had a pretty good introduction theme going around 0.40, but if you're trying to make a piece with a distinctive feel, you might want to add either one or more themes in that line. (One way to do this quickly is take the individual measures and switch them around; so 1-2-3-4 becomes 4-2-3-1) Just giving a few more variations on a theme can do wonders for a piece. (I noticed the variation at 3.00 and loved it, if you could have added something like that earlier, it would have been great)
Wait, what exact variation are you talking about? Is it the Buzzsaw (I only know how to really describe it with its name, haha; it's a preset that I kind of messed around with) lead there?
And for switching around the measures, you mean for the lead, yeah?
Next, I thought this piece had an amazing drop around 1.54, but I felt the one at 1.00 was a little lacking, and the bass was really wet. It just needed something extra to make it sound less like "noise" and more like an actual bassline. Maybe adjust the wet-dry on the preset or add a separate instrument.
My reasoning for that (and I'm not trying to argue with your advice or anything; I really do appreciate everything) is that I just figured the first drop is always supposed to be less intense than the following ones.
And yeah, that was the first real growl bass I ever made (in Sytrus). It wasn't what I was going for, but I liked the sound and figured it sounded enough like some kind of demonic bark to constitute basing the theme of the song around it, and thus I arrived at "Cerberus".
To be honest, I just can't get growl basses in Sytrus right. I need to work on practicing that a lot more before I implement them in songs, I suppose. :P
On whole though, I thought that the song was quite good; it has a few issues, but is defiantly well on its way to a nice piece.
For the sake of taking my dad's advice and not hanging on to something and being wishy-washy about it (my words, not his), I'm basically done with this track. I just need to take the lessons from it and improve on my technique for future songs.
That being said, of course, I, again, appreciate everything you helped with. Thanks loads. :D
Oh shit, LMMS, huh? I started with LMMS but it wasn't quite simple enough for me to just pick up, which is why I moved to FLS. I'm looking forward to going back to it someday. :D
Anyway, the actually important things:
Well, first, why do you have all the percussion panned to the left? It's an interesting effect for an intro, I'd say, but for the whole song, it makes it feel a little... disjointed? I mean, yeah, in metal, you'd have one guitar in one ear, the other in the other, some older forms of metal and rock even having bass guitar panned more to one ear and the single lead guitar in the other... but I've never heard drums like that.
Otherwise, I can't really find anything to complain about... everything fit together fantastically. This isn't really a genre I can comment on, honestly. My tastes fall in more of the EDM ranges, if you hadn't already gathered. :P But, keeping that in mind, it held my interest, which is saying a lot more than it sounds.
LFP wrote:Okay first of all I'd recommend to either use different instances of your song and EQ them individually, or use velocities to get some more prominent notes in there, it's hard to hear at some parts and adding velocities etc would give some more variation, make it more living.
Overall I'd say it's very repetitive, the same kind of melody and sound feels like its repeated over and over again, I can hear that you put in some variation in there, but it simply isn't enough.
I'd advice you to look up on some song structuring, analyze your favorite song 'how is it structured', look up tutorials etc.
I'm tempted to use my inexperience as a crutch for the repetitiveness, but I know better than that. Duly noted, and especially the (heh, repeated) advice to learn music theory. That's advice I can't go on ignoring~.
(And most of my favorite songs are metal, which is structured so differently from most electronica... It kills me trying to balance my influences.)
Thanks for the advice, though, I definitely appreciate it. :)
Ooh, I like so far. I'm not sure if I agree with the contrast between the growls and the melodic lead, but that's just a personal preference, so yeah.
I'm probably gonna have to steal Alycs's words and say that your growl sounds a little too wet, too, though not in the same way he was describing mine, I think. It just sounds... idk, like if it was an actual animal growling, like it had its mouth full? Shit, I don't know if that's even the right way of describing it.
I do like the growls, though. Very similar to Seamless's stuff (but I'm not calling you unoriginal!), which is all amazing.