Delete my account

by **Nicisflee** » 10 Jan 2013 18:58

Delete my Profile please, please delete it

by **Navron** » 10 Jan 2013 22:04

Not a big fan of rap and hip hop, but you've overall got a good flow, and the quotes add a nice touch to the music.

YouTube · by **Kushy Kallous** » 11 Jan 2013 08:43

Isn't this like, the third re-upload? o__0
I'm wondering if this is still a work in progress or if you're onto your next song?

Notes about this upload:
- Volumes near the beginning need attention, a little too dynamic on some words.
- Vocals sound kinda flat, maybe layer some vocals on parts to emphasize lines and
add more depth to the vocal in general.
- some of your punchlines are tight, though, some kinda seemed like you reached far for.

: ( I usually dont get really nit-picky when I crit, though, I can only guess you're only trying to get at the feedback we got by.

Anyways, aight song, hope dem moneyz and filliez goin' good for you, : D or something.

by **Nicisflee** » 11 Jan 2013 16:07

Delete my Profile please, please delete it

Youtube · by **Conduit** » 11 Jan 2013 18:10

If you made the backing track try to eq out a bit of the instruments that take up the same range as your voice, your voice is covered up a bit by the beat. If that's not an option just turning up the vocals would be a good idea.

I really like the rap though, great flow except for one or two verses.

YouTube · by **Freewave** » 11 Jan 2013 19:13

Sounds really good man. Very good production. Yeah you could eq the vocals in a little better. Biggest issue i have is with "tough guy" brony music is it just seems out of place to what being a brony is all about ....but nonetheless this is still pretty good.

by **Genkar** » 12 Jan 2013 11:24

The melodies are nice, and the pads in the back sound good. Your flow sounds a bit off at times, for the most part it's pretty good. The lyrics are pretty generic, but I'm not really a big fan of rap to begin with, so I can't really judge that. You might want to cut off some of the high shelf on the cymbals, they're a bit piercing the way they are now.

by **Dabrenn** » 13 Jan 2013 01:51

I like your voice! I don't really have anything super specific other than I think your voice could sit in the mix better than it could. I'm no professional mixer, so I don't really know how to go about doing that. Like its been said earlier, your flow gets off at a couple parts, but overall I think its very solid!

by **Pimps_McGee** » 13 Jan 2013 02:48

Well I do like where your voice sits, however I feel as though it is a bit too monotonic and just needs a bit of flare every now and again to maintain a fresh sound in the air.

As for flow, it just seems a bit too slow for me personally, sort of monotonous. Also, the rhythm seems to be just eighth notes through the whole thing; don't be afraid to add some variation to it! Lastly your phrases seem a bit short to me as well.

Finally about the writing and your lyrics, for the most part your lines were "word word word rhyming-word/ word word word rhyming-word/ etc." I did see a few times where you tried to come out of that scheme but it just sucked you right back in; basically change the scheme up to maintain a fresher sound. If you want to add more spice into your lyrics I'd recommend using alliteration, puns, and more multisyllabic rhyme (be careful not to overuse it). Most literary elements can aid to a great rap song.

In general just add some variation once in a while to keep the song from becoming boring. It may sound like a lot but that to me is half the fun of creating new music!

Links:
Literary Schemes and Tropes
http://bellevuecollege.edu/artshum/materials/spch/Buxton/Schemes_Tropes.htm

Hail Mary - Tupac Shakur (Listen to the way he uses rhythm)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkJA6SYwa94

Troublesome 96 - Tupac Shakur (Make note of his rhyme scheme and use of alliteration. Also the vocal flare I mentioned is present in both this song and Hail Mary)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdX79pwyBII

by **Sonarch** » 15 Jan 2013 14:15

I think the vocals need to be changed a bit, I really have to focus to hear exactly what it is you're saying. It's pretty good, but if you redo the vocals try to put a bit more emotion into it if you can. Basically spice them up a bit, which seems like it's what everyone else is saying. The beat and the music itself are good though.