Pewter Robot wrote:Nine Volt wrote:Seriously? You guys have pathetic TMI. Let me rectify that.Nine Volt wrote:The man grinned. It was his dream come true. Here in front of him stood the most beautiful iceberg he'd ever seen, just sitting there, unused. Grabbing his ice picks, the man stepped slowly to the iceberg's smooth, crystalline surface, shining in the day's light. Despite the frigidity of his surroundings, the man's forehead glistened with sweat and his heart was pounding. He took one tentative step from the small ledge he'd been resting on, then lifted his other foot and planted them both firmly on the silky surface of the iceberg. He stooped down to feel the light dusting of snow on the icy mass.
"You're beautiful," he spoke softly as he gently caressed and stroked the magnificent ice island underneath him. His smile widened as he noted a large arch spanning almost the full length of the iceberg off to the north side. Something in the distance dropped into the water; probably a rock or a chunk of ice.
He tried to resist it. He really did. But the smooth, succulent surface of the silky slice of ice was far too tantalizing for his feeble efforts. His eyes took on a wild, manic look as a primal urge overcame his last inhibitions. With a loud yell, he thrust his dick into the ice, not even flinching when the chill froze his balls almost instantly. Grunting like an angry gorilla, he slammed his throbbing meat pistol into the ice with ferocious intensity, letting the dusty snow coat his penis in white powder. He thrust back and forth for a minute, then suddenly a look of pure bliss overcame him as he came directly into the iceberg, blowing a huge load into its frozen crevices. White mixed with white as his member wilted almost immediately, desperately trying to escape the bitter cold.
"I love you," he whispered as he fell backwards into the sea, his life's goal finally reached.
tl;dr Nine Volt smokes crack
Don't pretend you didn't love it :3