<WIP> Unamed track, feedback please?

[the4thImpulse]

I am not looking for any "cool track bro" comments, I want criticism. Just click the link below and rip it apart to the best of your abilities and tell me what you heard.

Super fancy dropbox link!

[Magnitude Zero]

Listening with a $20 Radioshack headset, so take my mixing advice with a grain of salt. I'm also not all that great at the technical side of music, but I'll do my best :<

The first thing I noticed is that the kick is juuust a little underwhelming. It's nice and punchy, and comes in clear (as does pretty much everything), but I'm not feeling enough "umph" - sort of lacking in driving force, if that makes sense.

There's a lot of of really nice stereo width throughout this whole beginning section but I'm not hearing a whole lot in the center besides the kick and bass, which could be related to what I said about the kick itself.

The melodic synth around 2:55 to about 3:15 is a little harsh and overbearing, to the point where it was a little painful on my ears at 3:09. Composition-wise I'm in love with that whole section though.

The bongo-sounding drums that come in here and there with the panning could be a little more subtle.

I'm nitpicking a lot. The mixing really is fantastic from what I can hear - everything's coming in crystal clear. As a whole the track reminds me of clouds (they're the first thing that came to my mind), like leisurely "swimming" through them with a hint of friendly competition which gets more intense after 3:20. Hard to explain, but it is very strong imagery which is awesome.

[KillerAmp]

First, i think its rather good, but since you really want us to pick apart it, ill go ahead and try.

I think that it sounds like something i could listen to if i was occupied on something else, and that it would fit in some form of entertainment, like a video game or a tv show.
I feel like the track doesn't have a lot of/enough focal points, which isn't necessarily bad depending on if it was intentional or not. From a production standpoint, i think the mix sounds pretty good, you have very balanced sounds and they contrast and compliment each-other. Your ambient sounds are fantastic at around the 2:45 min mark, like really, awesome work on those. I also like the side-chain throughout the song, a lot of times when i hear a track there is way to much side-chain, and it makes everything feel a little late on re-entry, but the side-chaining in this is spot on.
I love the subtle changes and form of the piece, how its starting as a pretty simple House-like beat, which slides to a trancy/ambient sound, and molds back into the house. If i were to really pick at 1 thing, i would say that the riser at 3:10 seem's a little out of place with the rest of the piece, it just sounds a little more gritty compared to the other subtle sound effects. Overall, great work, im looking forward to more like this.

[MRPPony]

cool track bro.

Nah I'm kidding. Here's my personal opinion on this.
Normally I personally like long/slow building intros just because it gives character to a track, this one feels as if its just talking and talking but not making a point. Normally the buildup for the track should start at the 1 minute mark but you just added the pikes then with some variations. I like that, but it probably should've happened earlier and have it transition to the short breakdown at 1:30.
1:41 Sounds okay, but doesn't feel so right so I'll just leave that alone -fast forward-
2:35 Having the plucks slowly get louder from what sounded like a LP filter then to that peaceful ass breakdown was a great move in my opinion. From then on its just a repeat of the intro so that tells me the track is over and done with.

Overall, good but seems more like some things need to be added/varied around the main portions of the song. It doesn't sound like its getting anywhere, more like background music that can blend with nearly any situation. If that's what you're looking for, then alright I say you nailed it, but as a stand-alone track, needs more of a "voice" rather than a handful of instruments working together. Guess I could say in short, where's the leeeeeeead?

Anyway hope that's constructive enough for ya, 4th. You da best. -fluttershy smile sfx- =D

[the4thImpulse]

Thank you, all of you, it was all great feedback.


First to address the 'lead' or 'lack of a lead'. It was something that I struggled with in this track. As I kept adding sound I kept making them the focus and pushed everything else behind which left multiple elements that each could be a lead but were each making a bigger sound all together (if that makes sense). I kinda like the way it is without a normal lead but I understand it is a little different then the music of its genre. I am very happy you all pointed it out though, I wasn't thinking about it while making the track and would have never known that's how it may be received.

- The kick has a weird flavor to it, I kind of like it but I will try adding more 'umph' because it is a good suggestion.
- I will look into the stero imaging more closely in the beginning, I think it gets better as other elements come into play.
- That melodic synth was very harsh on my monitors and I have had trouble finding the right sweet spot with the EQ, I am very aware of it but I'm still thankful you pointed it out so specifically.
- Thank you for sharing that imagery, it seems to be one thing I am good at with music.

If i were to really pick at 1 thing, i would say that the riser at 3:10 seem's a little out of place with the rest of the piece, it just sounds a little more gritty compared to the other subtle sound effects. Overall, great work, im looking forward to more like this.

You are the third to bring up that riser sound, I thought it fit but it seems that my ears are deceiving me on that one. I will try to remove some of that grit through reverb and chorusing in hopes it fits more with the house feel.

The way you write it suggests you may have skipped through the track (it may just be the way you worded it all), I would encourage you not to do that or not make it seem as if you did that. Anyway the intro is kept as short as possible for feedback purposes, a proper DJ intro will be added but I don't believe I will add a mini breakdown (good suggestion though). Finally yay fluttershy!

Thanks again everyone, I will work on it some more over the coming days and will update again when I have something worthy of an update.

[Magnitude Zero]

- I will look into the stero imaging more closely in the beginning, I think it gets better as other elements come into play.

Yes, agreed - sorry, I forgot to mention that.

[vaceslav]

I kinda liked the way the synth sounded around three minutes in. I though that section could actually work nicely with a few dissonant notes before it come back into that really nice chilled groove.

The bowed string sounding synth that starts around a minute in though, I though that was a little harsh. Is it a synth or a heavily effected intrument? I couldn't tell. Either way I think a viola sample would have been nice.

The mix felt a little top heavy, but I've been thinking that about most songs recently, so maybe its just my ears being weird.

[MRPPony]

The way you write it suggests you may have skipped through the track (it may just be the way you worded it all), I would encourage you not to do that or not make it seem as if you did that.

Heh my fault. Although thankfully my english is more understandable than it was before (I never took school seriously until 12th grade but by then my english was so bad my teachers thought I moved here from another country lol. Yay street language, yo). I listened to it twice then commented as I listened to it 6 more times so yeah, its just how I word things. Sorry about that, that's why I'm taking English 102 now

Ah sorry for the long reply, you don't have to read all of it if you don't want to. Basically I'm saying the song has more atmosphere than dynamics. It can be straightforward and still be good, which is what your's is, but since that's my problem (dynamics/variations) I'm just letting you know what I personally think of it.



Here's a visual of what I'm talking about:
Imagine a guy running in a straight line and you're viewing him running from the side (Classic Mario gamer's point-of-view).
From 0:00 ~ 1:39 looks like the guy is still running in a straight line but the world around him slowly comes to life, from a plain black and white wire-frame bg to a colorful, luscious, populated forest.

I said it felt too long but I'll take back that statement because after listening to this a couple of times coming home from a stressful day at work last night, it was just right.

From 1:41 ~ 2:10 The guy is now running upwards in the forest path. He's really looking forward to seeing what waits for him beyond this hill, but when he gets to the top, its the same area he saw before. Basically, that section felt like it was building up to nothing. I said it doesn't feel right because it was anticlimactic. The runner was expecting something great but turns out it was nothing special. I'm not sure how you could fix that because that's my problem with my music lol so I jokingly said, "fast-forward."

From 2:40 ~ end is the best part. The man jumps into an ever-expanding and unexplainable space and flies to the next course where he begins running again to the end of the track. What he experienced is something he will never forget because as he runs towards the end of the track, the song kind of "repeats" it self and reminds him of that ambient breakdown.



Hopefully that's more clear as to what I'm trying to say. If not, sorry I'll stop T_T

[Captain Ironhelm]

personal preferences:
the melody that comes in at 1:00 is kind of bland, I'd want to juice it up a little bit with more movement with something kinda like this:
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/80581976/Random/4impulsetest.mp3 (sorry kinda lame but it makes the illustration)
the riser (I think that's what it's called whatever) at 3:14 is too quiet in comparison to the rest of the sounds in the track, which makes its presence have a lot less impact.
about 3:48 I'd test around with putting in a low profile blip arpeggiation in the background just cuz to see if it fits or not.

[the4thImpulse]

The bowed string sounding synth that starts around a minute in though, I though that was a little harsh. Is it a synth or a heavily effected intrument? I couldn't tell. Either way I think a viola sample would have been nice.

Its a synth, and a heavily processed one at that. It is very harsh sounding and that is all intentional although it may be good to tone it down a bit, thanks.

I don't quite understand what you are trying to show me with the example, is it a blandness in notes or sound design?
I will look into the risers volume, I wanted it to be softer as more of a transition piece then a 'heavy' buildup thing.
I will try an arp line in that section, I like that idea.

Hopefully that's more clear as to what I'm trying to say.

It does clear it up, thanks.

[Captain Ironhelm]

woops was in a hurry last night. Just the notes, making it more groovy.