Alright, let's get into this.
So, if you’re like me, and you happen to know a few jazz studies kids, or just jazz musicians in general, you know they do a lot of transcribing just starting out. Transcribing solos, analyzing chords, writing changes, etc. They may just be in it as performers, but you need a lot of technical know-how in order to be a professional jazz artist.
I think the same concepts can be applied to rap, so what I’ve done is taken Mr.[don’t forget the Muthafuckin’] eXquire’s verse from this song*:
http://youtu.be/W2ed5osQYvU and analyzed it as deeply as I could (considering how lazy/busy I am).
Now, it probably would have been helpful to transcribe the lyrics myself, but I don’t have that kind of time so I just googled em. You should def try doing that on your own, it will help you pay closer attention to the lyrics and their effect rather than just thinking of words on a page. The transcription you find could also be wrong (ex. the third line of my example they had as “conscious of all I desire” but I’m PRETTY sure that’s not what he’s saying). (this is the transcription I used btw:
http://www.songlyrics.com/el-p/oh-hail-no-lyrics/ )
So, just for reference: the lyrics:
1Jesus turned water to wine, I turn liquor to urine
2Sex with one whore is deplorable I need four at a time
3Maybe I’m lost in the grind, haunted by all I desire
4Forcibly caused to be normal, bonded and tossed in the fire
5Cross hairs of corporate design, cogs that all move in align
6Meant to be something other than this but I think I forgot
7Shymalan twist in the plot, Camelot sword from the rock
8No I won’t piss in your pot, life put that bishop in pac (pie?)
9Visceral, villainous, vindicated by venomous vibes
10Viscious, concealing my mental illness by willing a smile
11Endless intentions to climb uphill and piss in the sky
12(Brooklyn is up in this motherfucker so suck on our) cock
12 lines (with each line being a measure if you consider the bpm of the song to be ~98)
Ok, let's go deeper. I want to look at the rhythm first (for this section, if you don't know what I'm talking about, sorry. I could explain sometime later if anyone asks.):

Alright, so just looking at this, I notice he seems to be alternating between two rhythmic patterns (with the very last measure varying slightly; I'll get into how it is different and why it is still effective with the same beat later). So the basic idea seems to be 16th notes with every third one being accented with the 2-16th 1-8th rhythm coming in every 2nd or 4th beat. I see this as a common way to subdivide 4/4 in a way that gives it a sort of triplet feel (if you count the accents as mini-downbeats it works out to 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2. Thinking of the other pattern [14-16ths and an 8th] this way works it out to 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2-3). Ok, that's cool, but also kind of repetitive, but I don't really care because
I know he knows what he's doing. How? Because he switches it up.
Let's call the pattern in the first measure pattern 1 and the pattern in the second measure pattern 2.
In the 7th and 8th lines he uses pattern 1 instead of alternating between the two. In the 9th and 10th lines he uses pattern 2 instead of alternating between the two. He goes back to alternating in the last two lines, but the last measure has a slightly different pattern of accenting** (1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2 1-2-3 1-2-3 1).
Basically, his whole verse has got a groove that he plays with. The beat itself is already bumpin enough, but his rapping really makes your head bop- COOL.
Let's look at that other thing that I think sort of just hits you on first listen, and is also apparently the most important thing in rapping or something,
RHYMIN:
I've horribly color coded the lyrics to illustrate rhyming relationships:

I've highlighted some of them weirdly or even just colored the text instead of the whole word because he does this cool thing where he rhymes words with different words on different syllables, and that is pretty tight. Notice how he keeps it all pretty locked in by utilizing the same rhyme throughout several lines, and how he doesn't constrict himself to end rhymes or rhyming on the same count.
I also totally count half/slant rhymes; I really don't get why some people don't. If your accent makes what are supposed to be two different vowel sounds sound the same, well, what's wrong with that? I think, if you're savvy with dialect and can pull it off tastefully, play with how words sound; it's interesting.
(also, as a note, I have "something other" in colored brackets because I'm not sure if he meant it to have that rhyming effect. It's close, but I don’t think I can give it to him.)
What is sort of the meat and potatoes of someone’s verse for me, is all those allusions, metaphors, puns, etc. that dudes do. I like a rapper to be hard hitting and live, but also witty and intelligent. I don’t think I really need to go in and point out every little thing that eXquire does here, but I’ll go through and highlight a few:
You get a taste of eXquire in the hook, but I think the first two lines he comes out with really shows his character
1
Jesus turned water to wine, I turn liquor to urine2
Sex with one whore is deplorable I need four at a time
He uses a comedic sort of set-up punch-line routine: juxtaposing his temperament with something that is on a different extreme of the morality spectrum to accentuate his “fuck you” attitude. His verse is full of that kind of humor, as he often cuts off deep, poignant thoughts with statements that are vulgar/seemingly ignorant.
4
Forcibly caused to be normal, bonded and tossed in the fire5
Cross hairs of corporate design, cogs that all move in alignHere is where he shows his awareness of his situation by alluding to some possible force behind his attitude/lifestyle. Is it simply due to society that he is so, or is the design of it more intelligent, more sinister? Also, what does he mean by normal? Is he calling out the aimless, hedonistic lifestyle, or is he criticizing what most people would define as normal?
6
Meant to be something other than this but I think I forgotHell, can’t expect the dude to have all the answers I guess.
9
Visceral, villainous, vindicated by venomous vibes10
Viscious, concealing my mental illness by willing a smileSome nice alliteration here, and by nice I mean pretty damn aggressive. It’s not just the stressed starts of repeated consonant sounds that gives these lines more edge, but I feel like staying on that [ih] vowel sound (sorry, I don’t quite know my IPA) almost gives it an extra tense/angry feel (just try sayin it, you’ll see what I mean). It contrasts nicely with the more open [ah] sound at the end of each line.
8
No I won’t piss in your pot, life put that bishop in pac (pie?)
Ok, someone’s gonna have to tell ME what the second half means. If the line IS pac…the hell is that? As for pie, I looked up bishop pie and I dunno if that’s a specific reference to something, or if there is a reason they call it bishop pie (I dunno man, I’m not a baker) that he might be alluding to.
So, I got fairly deep into it; definitely deeper than I would on most tracks (even ones I really dig), but there’s still more that I could get into. Either way, just doing this exercise once has taught me to look at my own lines in a different light. Most people probably won’t be as scrutinizing (at least not on a super technical level, though I’m not saying that this is), but there’s no wrong in being your own biggest critic. I encourage y’all to try this out; sure, listening to a bunch of records is the only way to really get a feel for how rap works, but going in and analyzing all the little things that could’ve gone into making a tight verse can be mind opening.
*Off of El-P’s latest album Cancer-4-Cure; I highly recommend it. He’s a fantastic producer and rapper and he’s got a tendency to make you think. Go check out eXquire’s other stuff too (this is an excellent tape):
http://exqomaniarules.bandcamp.com/albu ... ck-my-dick**debatable