EmpUbermensch wrote:soup2504 wrote:Eh, today wasn't amazing. Saw "Dark Shadows" which honestly wasn't worth it... If you ask why I say this, I shall explain.
It looked dumb, and I was unsure of the quality of an originally dark romance being depicted as more of a comedy...ehhhh.
What did you find wrong with it?
Alright, excuse the review being shitty and unorganized, but here we go.
From the trailer, I thought Dark Shadows was going to be a re-telling of Edward Scissorhands, but a bit darker. Was it? No, although it had a TINY bit of influence, it wasn't. And to be honest, I think a re-telling of Edward Scissorhands would've been BETTER than what I got. Dark Shadows starts off promising and interesing, but it also tries to be funny, and the humor is just dry. After the intro, you see a lady who calls herself "Victoria" going to the mansion seen in the intro, and meets the family and everything. The characters you meet in that mansion are barely even used well until the near ending, with the exception of 2 or 3. The movie ultimately failed to hold my interest the moment Barnabus or however the fuck his name is spelled got out of his coffin. From that point on, the movie tries to make you laugh with dull humor, silly sex scenes, etc. However, the one thing the movie dd that ACTUALLY made me laugh was... The story. And the story wasn't meant to be funny. The story was just... Bad. After the intro, there is almost no progression in the story, it's just you staring at a screen and watching un-interesting events and things that try to make everything seem better than it actually is. Then, near the ending, the intro is RE-TOLD ENTIRELY, with almost NO differences whatsoever, and the things they DO change have ABSOLUTELY NO significance to the story-line itself, and adds no depth to the story at all, it is LITERALLY the same as the intro, and it's just bad, THEN they throw in some differences that, as I said before, have no signifigance to the story, but end up CHEESING up the story and making it just flat out stupid. Hey, let's throw in a werewolf! And let's use a ghost to help out! Then, how about we throw in some uneccessary romance between two characters that only bond once or twice in the movie, and never TRULY bonded in a romantic way, but more like "Hey, my name is Gregg and I'm a faggot." type bond. Next thing you know, they're falling in love with no connection between the characters, romantically, or any connection at all.
Ditch the humor, make the story better, fix everything else, and it could have been decent. I would recommend seeing "The Cabin in the Woods" instead of this if you get the urge to watch it, because that was a genre bending masterpiece, and nothing else shall be said about it, as ANYTHING would spoil it.