<pony><original><orchestral> Dawn

[Callenby]

https://soundcloud.com/callenby/dawn-wip

I'm trying for a different kind of thing here. Less melodic, more mood-setting. Maybe even ambient? That being said, I feel like it's missing something but I'm not sure what.

Specific things:
1. The composition is pretty hodgepodge. I was focused on writing for strings and making better chord progressions. I think I accomplished that even though the whole thing gets a little of boring as is.
2. As you might guess from the title, I'm trying to capture the feeling of a new day awakening and I think that concept is enough to sustain a piece. So, I think using legato is key but I don't want to be overly reliant on it and bore everyone.
3. There are basically three sections (each roughly one minute apiece) and I had the idea of each of building upon something introduced in the previous one, but haven't figure out what. Maybe something like adding some pizzicato or a (slow) violin solo? I don't want to get too crazy with this, though. I'd like to keep it to just strings if possible.
4. The mixing, reverb, and compression are all pretty whacked at the moment. I'm still working on it. Any advice in this regard?
5. The ending is probably too abrupt.

[CitricAcid]

These are my notes on each of the specific items you listed:
1. I think this piece can work with just strings. If you wanted to add an instrument, piano would come to my mind first.
2. It looks like you've got the harmonic movement and orchestration changes the way you want them. I would add movement on top of that. If it were my piece, I would take it and say, "Alright, no more than two instruments should be playing the same rhythm at the same time," and try and change it to fit that criteria. I would probably favor 2nd or 3rd species counterpoint for generating the additional movement.
3. I think adding a solo instrument--or even different solo instrument for each section--would be a good idea. Then when one section ended, the previous solo instrument could continue playing underneath the new solo instrument as a background element (while still being a solo itself). The solo itself I imagine sounding something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LOFhsksAYw&t=16m41s
4. In general it comes recommended to not compress strings. And if you're going for gentleness, you're going to want to keep all your dynamic range.
5. You'll probably figure out what you want to do with the ending once you figure out what you want to add to the middle of the piece.

[Callenby]

Many thanks for the speedy reply!

1. Maybe I could add a piano for texture, but I'm trying to avoid "piano + strings". I've used it so much already.
2. 2nd species seems like a good option, considering the mood I'm going for. I might just do that. Maybe I'll give it to a solo cello.
3. It's funny you bring up The Swan because I performed it years ago (plus, I adore all of Carnival). That kind of solo is a bit busier than I had in mind but I'll definitely reconsider. My options for quality, single VSTIs are rather limited, unfortunately, and I have to accommodate that fact.
4. That's good to know. Thanks for the tip!
5. Yeah, I'm not too worried about the ending. Those are just about the easiest parts, in my experience.

I've got plenty to think about now so I'll probably put this on the backburner before resuming work on this.

Thanks again.

[Callenby]

https://soundcloud.com/callenby/dawn-wip-2

Update!

Here's a second draft. The biggest difference is that I added a cello solo. Hopefully that's enough to salvage the piece. I still need to work out the mixing, reverb, etc.

I used the free Blakus cello VSTI. How does it sound? Any way to make it sound better?

[CitricAcid]

The solo cello really helps things, and I like the extra movement you added in the background. I'm unfamiliar with the Blakus cello, but if it lets you adjust the ADSR of the instrument, I would increase the release time a bit.

As for mixing, I personally think I'm terrible at it, so take what I say about it with a grain of salt. I would boost the low mids of the cello a bit to help it stand out. After you add reverb, you'll probably lose some of your dynamic range, so I would automate the volume faders to track with the movement of the piece. As it is, the quiet parts seem too quiet; see if you can find a way to increase the perceived volume of it without just turning it up. (EQ or something, I'm not sure.)

[Conduit]

The cello sounds ok, but not nearly as legato as I would expect for a piece like this. If you have other solo cello libraries maybe try them, but otherwise just add some reverb and increase the release like CitricAcid said.
At 1:36 everything fades except the cello and it just sounds wrong. I'm really bad at identifying pitches by ear, but I think either playing the tonic or dominant there would help, or just keeping the other strings going underneath.
Also, if it was me, I would take that note up in pitch, and play a section with some higher notes, rather then where you took it. Of course we're different composers so you don't have to do that, but you're solo cello is using nowhere near it's full range.

[Callenby]

The solo cello really helps things, and I like the extra movement you added in the background. I'm unfamiliar with the Blakus cello, but if it lets you adjust the ADSR of the instrument, I would increase the release time a bit.

As for mixing, I personally think I'm terrible at it, so take what I say about it with a grain of salt. I would boost the low mids of the cello a bit to help it stand out. After you add reverb, you'll probably lose some of your dynamic range, so I would automate the volume faders to track with the movement of the piece. As it is, the quiet parts seem too quiet; see if you can find a way to increase the perceived volume of it without just turning it up. (EQ or something, I'm not sure.)

Yeah, it has some editable features. I'll experiment with that. I also used Cinematic Strings 2, which is a pretty quality library, so I can definitely do a lot to increase volume and expressivity. I just didn't want to get too bogged down in mixing for a WIP in case I need to make major changes and have to delete it and start all over again.

The cello sounds ok, but not nearly as legato as I would expect for a piece like this. If you have other solo cello libraries maybe try them, but otherwise just add some reverb and increase the release like CitricAcid said.
At 1:36 everything fades except the cello and it just sounds wrong. I'm really bad at identifying pitches by ear, but I think either playing the tonic or dominant there would help, or just keeping the other strings going underneath.
Also, if it was me, I would take that note up in pitch, and play a section with some higher notes, rather then where you took it. Of course we're different composers so you don't have to do that, but you're solo cello is using nowhere near it's full range.

It's a free VSTI and as such very limited. I don't have a better version and if I did, rest assured, I would have used it. Also, I'm deliberately trying to keep in within a pretty low range.

1:36 sounds off because it's an augmented I chord in first inversion, so it actually is the tonic chord (mostly). I intended it to be that way but if it's too unbearable I can always change it. I thought the I+ made it more interesting, but that could just be me.

I've been getting some conflicting recommendations about the piece being both too legato and not legato enough. I guess I'll just find out what my gut says and go with that.

Thank you both for the feedback.