<Non-pony><Original> Bodkin

[Twy]

Yo! So I've got this track here what I done made, but I'm not sure about... well, pretty much all of it. You know how after you've been working on a track for a while you can get tunnel vision and you're not sure what's even good anymore cause you're already so used to the way it sounds? I've been getting that a lot, so I feel like getting feedback and insight from others would be pretty useful.

https://soundcloud.com/tailored-1/bodkin
Sorry about the brostep-ness I know a lot of people are gettin' sick of that these days

Any input of any length, detail or opinion would be valued. Even a "I like it" or "I don't like it" is useful for future reference and much appreciated.

Thanks very much for your time!

[vaceslav]

I'm not going say much about the mix, because in terms of mastering, this track is currently way better than I could do.

But...

As much as I love the breaks at 2.41 and 2.49, you've done something similar at 2.15 that I don't think works as well. It's still good, but not as good. I'm trying to think why, but I just can't put my finger on it.

I know that this song has a fair bit of sub-bass, but it's a little hard to hear on some of my smaller speakers, and whole song ends up sounds a little thin. I'm not sure how you'd get around this, maybe try boosting some upper lows on your sub-bass track?

The intro could use a tad more bass.

And I don't like the heavily HPFed kick in the breakdown. I think might sound nice with just the snare in that part.

Overall though, great track.

[Twy]

Thanks a lot for taking to time to listen and post up your thoughts. I know this part of the forums can be a bit slow and inactive, so I really appreciate that.

(2:15) Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. I think I'll see if I can change that to something better if not just because the breaks later on, as you've said, are similar enough that I don't want too much of the same thing going on.

Although the sub-bass thing is something I'd never considered. I guess that might be a problem with trying to mix without decent studio speakers, or whatever. Thanks for pointing that out.

I'll mess around with the track and implementing your other suggestions as well, see if I can't make those parts better or not.
Again, thank you for you input.

[Patashu]

The drums leading you from 0:24 into 0:27 could be stronger. Give em a bit of energy when they say goodbye for a while.
I think in 0:27 to 0:38, you should change up every fourth measure to a different rhythm, minor nitpick tho.
I liked the 0:38-0:41 drum transistion~
0:41 is neat but it feels a bit weak. I THINK this is due to lack of highs. Throw in some hats, crashes and maybe high melodies? If it's not due to that, maybe it's bass design?
The last measure at 2:12 should be changed - so it's not a pure repeat of the last time you played it. Transitions!
I like the melodic aspects of 2:15 on, but it needs stronger drums or more highs or more bass or something, similar to 0:41 on. Idk, it can always be hard to identify sound design flaws as opposed to melodic flaws. One thing you could try is making crazy drum fills that hop in and out, or harmonizing melodies that hop in and out, to flank four measure blocks - that way energy flows into the piece continually keeping it moving around. Can help keep it from feeling like it's 'standing still' from copying and pasting stuff in a loop, you know? But this is just how I approach making music, and I don't know if what works for me works for you

[Twy]

Thanks very much for your feedback Patashu!

So, a lot of problems with melody variation, then? Alright, I'll try and keep that sort of thing in mind moving forward. Of course, I do also want to avoid having so much variation that the song feels jumpy and lacks an identity.

But I'd probably agree that 0:41 doesn't feel as heavy as it could. I did mess around with hi-hats and stuff, but it didn't sound right to me. Ultimately I do think a large part of the problem is probably the bass design... I tried for so long to give it crunch but not be too saw wavy, to give it bass but also a good low-mid range punch, and still be very audible without a sub woofer and whatnot. Looks like I kinda failed though, heh.

But yeah, thank you again for you advice. I'm very grateful.