<original><pony><vocals> Schism

[AClassyPony]

I just finished this and I thought I'd post it here!
This was my first time recording vocals or using a vocoder, so I'm sure that I could've done it a little better. Lyrics are below.



http://soundcloud.com/starsong-acp/schism


I couldn't guess the colour of your skin (I need to, I need to take a breath)
The lights are going dark, I think I'm fading out.
I can't feel you now, I can feel it now, my air's going flat
Your hooves on my skin like the hooves on my mouth.

I don't wanna go, I'm not ready to go.
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.

And it feels like
There was more for me (Oh~)
I don't want to die alone.
I never thought that I'd
Never get a chance to say goodbye
To say goodbye

And when you're all out of breath
There's not much else that is left, no
Why you chose me, I won't ever know
But I don't want to go.
Still I don't want to go.

I don't wanna go, I'm not ready to go.
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.

[colortwelve]

The sound design, structure, vocals, and all that - excellent work, this is a damn good song!

That said, the mixing is just a little unclear in general; a lot of the sounds bleed into each other in a way that doesn't sound intentional. I'd say, to rectify that, spend a lot more time on EQing all of your sounds and make sure that you don't have more than a couple tracks fighting for the same frequency range. Also, maybe compress your drums a bit more, the kick is really hard to make out, and the snare sort of comes and goes.

Oh, and one more thing...

I don't want to go

[AClassyPony]

Thanks for your input!
Yeah, I was noticing that the kick wasn't as strong as I'd like to be in places, so I'll try to work with mastering a bit more in the future.
And yeah, next time I do vocals I should try to have all of the words be actual words (want to, instead of wanna), but I just didn't like how the 't' sounded with everything else. I'll definitely try to get that to work in the future, though.