<pony><wip><orchestral>Sunset for String Orchestra

[WavesOfParadox]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXbZzIdfnho

Critique wanted

Based on the amazing fic by Ciroton:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/19676/Sunset
(Please read this, it's so awesome)

Five movements are planned. I'm not sure how much I liked this one, so I may go back and rewrite this after completing the remaining four movements.

[Dr_Dissonance]

You certainly move to some interesting chord progressions! I really liked that!

I felt that the whole piece would benefit from every string section playing more. There are many areas where half the strings would stop. Whilst this can be effective in the right circumstances, it wasn't that great here.
Also consider a lot about the movement of each section. They felt a bit static, when if you listen to existing strig orchestra pieces, there's a lot of counterpoint, contrapuntal movement and general polyphony! (google them if you're unsure)
Overall a neart start! I'd recommend making this movement longer before starting any others.

[WavesOfParadox]

You certainly move to some interesting chord progressions! I really liked that!

I felt that the whole piece would benefit from every string section playing more. There are many areas where half the strings would stop. Whilst this can be effective in the right circumstances, it wasn't that great here.
Also consider a lot about the movement of each section. They felt a bit static, when if you listen to existing strig orchestra pieces, there's a lot of counterpoint, contrapuntal movement and general polyphony! (google them if you're unsure)
Overall a neart start! I'd recommend making this movement longer before starting any others.

First of all, thank you so much for taking a look at this.

I agree 100% with each of your points, and will work to improve them. I'm still on the fence on whether I should revise this movement or rewrite it completely. In revision, I would also change up some rhythms. I felt that the consecutive eighth notes were overused.

Also, since you seem to be experienced in this, could you tell me how I should approach how the sections should move in relation to each other? I play the double bass and have written many cello and bass duets, so those two voices come most naturally to me. The violins and violas, however, are pretty foreign to me. I swapped around with them moving in octaves/fifths and standard triads, with some slight changes to add dissonance or emphasize a certain mode. Feedback is very much appreciated and taken to heart.

[Dr_Dissonance]

Alrighty, so I'm going to use this piece in relation to what I'm talking about. Audible examples are always handy!



As you can hear in this piece, there is a lot going on. There's always a minimum of 2 voices going at one time and they're always quite different to each other.
Listening again, it certainly shows that you know your low strings! They actually did some interesting stuff. I think a good thing to do would be to translate your low string ideas up to the higher strings.
As for sections moving, compare Bartok's piece with your own. Not with tone, or speed or anything, but just in the way it was written. The bit from 0.27 to 0.34 has 3 voices: the melody, a driving bassline and some quick scales. They all glue together, but don't stick together, if that makes any sense at all...=P
The bit that starts at 0.38 is another good part. The little motif moving all around the sections. Effective!
Throughout the piece, you can hear a lot of question/answer type things and the accompaniment sounds like a melody itself in places.
Think more like that!

So, for a tl:dr
The melody can move everywhere, quickly!
Accompaniment doesn't have to be boring, make it it's own melody!
Make voices different, it keeps things interesting!

Just listen to existing pieces and get ideas on how they work. Hope this all helps!