[Non-Pony][Original][WIP] The Scourge Sisters ft. Rina Chan

[FermataWordplA]

https://soundcloud.com/anferneeant/the-scourge-sisters-ft-rina

Holy shit my potential first release.

So uh yeah, I've arranged and mixed this Homestuck piece to the best of my knowledge, which isn't much given that this is my first really official work. I don't know if the mixing is sound, if the ideas behind the song itself are sound... NOTHING. I just tried my best, put it together to a level that I think I'm happy with. Now I hope that someone will be kind enough to tear it apart for me with ears better than mine. I don't want to do Rina Chan a disservice by releasing something that's subpar.

[Stu Beef]

Personally, I find that it lacks in the excitement department. Musically and sound design wise I don't feel very drawn in to this. I can recognize the intent, but something about it feels a bit hollow (perhaps it just isn't 'my cup of tea'). The vocal samples don't really add anything either, they're kind of just there. I guess I'm ok with having things like that sprinkled in to provide a narrative, but it doesn't really add anything for me. I dunno what I'd reccomend to you in this instance; you seem quite unsure of yourself...I think it's a matter of really knowing what you want, but hey, if this is it, don't let me tell you otherwise.

I don't want to crush you or anything, but honestly, don't make a big deal about your FIRST RELEASE. Just keep creating and you'll keep getting better. This is honestly fairly solidly put together, it's just not that engaging.

[FermataWordplA]

It's almost more the fact that I got someone else to do work for me that makes me afraid of having this be weak, but yes, that was what I was afraid of. I sort of had an idea for something driving, but I couldn't make it happen, so I sort of BSed my way through and this was the result. I'm assuming my problem's probably in the root, in the ideas themselves just not being good enough to stand on their own. Music theory and sound design and all that good stuff. Rina herself seems to like it though, so I'll probably let this one go. Everyone's gotta start somewhere, after all.

Thanks for the input man, I really appreciate it.

[Alycs]

Okay, fellow Homestuck here. I have to say that I agree with the previous commenter. While I found it over-all enjoyable, it just didn't have much to it, and the vocals (if you knew what was going on) were okay, but didn't really seem to fit (the laughing especially got repetitive).

A good philosophy to follow is that every 16 bars or so, make something happen. Whether its a new instrument, new melody type, new entirely new rhythm or just completely take the listener for a ride and turn the song upside down. I heard you doing this throughout the song, but it just needed to be a little more. Maybe try adding instruments instead of just changing, with a few more voices. If at even one point, there had been a section where you had all the things you had been developing though the song expositioned, it would have made the song leaps and bounds better (maybe after Terezi says, "Y34H, 1F YOU W3R3 4 B4D GUY")

You have a solid base, but it just needs some more meat on it. Your ideas are actually just fine, just tie them together at some point. (Also, maybe try some "VERY" subtle auto-tuning on the vocals to get them to blend with the music a little better)

Good luck.

[FermataWordplA]

Yeah, I guess I'm thinking too narrowly at this point. I didn't have the foresight to ask for enough samples to allow for the song to be varied. And the auto-tuning bit was something I didn't even know was a thing.

But again, thanks for the feedback! And yes, another Homestuck!