by Sonarch » 21 Jan 2013 10:46
I agree, it's pretty good, but it's repetitive. Perhaps some kind of chorus to break it up?
And a few of the rhymes sound a little forced, like they almost rhymed or worked with the meter, but not quite. Not saying it's terrible, but just something that can always be improved.
My goal is to be capable of making any kind of music that strikes my fancy, and do it well.
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