<pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

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<pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby FlutterYay » 01 Jan 2013 12:32

Hi all,

when i posted my first track to Reddit asking for comments, someone suggested i go here for high quality feedback. I didn't, because by then i already knew some mistakes i made :D

Instead, I waited for my next work to be critiqued by you guys here. So this is my second track ever, it's called "A Fair Plan":
https://soundcloud.com/flutteryay/a-fair-plan

Any Feedback is very much appreciated, thanks!
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby Eros » 01 Jan 2013 13:05

I like it :)
Keep it up
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby FermataWordplA » 01 Jan 2013 17:58

First critique and I'm not exactly experienced, but this is what I managed to hear:

0:28-0:34 the arrangement in the melody doesn't seem quite right, it really stood out to me in a bad way. I'd recommend a rearrangement (possibly cut out some notes).

Your samples are grabbing background noise, Twilight's magic and such, very noticeably. I doubt that's what you had in mind. Now I can't tell you how to fix that, as I don't know how to do sample work myself. At the very least you can use some EQ cuts to nullify some of that noise. In general they could be mixed into the track better, since they stand out a bit. Less volume and some reverb, I think.

The snares are a bit dry. Try stacking on some extra snare samples or giving it some EQ cuts.

Overall it's pretty good, though I'm not really sold on the direction you took with the sampling. That might just be because the samples themselves don't fit into the track in their current state, but I'd personally be more judicious with the sample usage.

Again, bear in mind that I'm not good at this, but that's what I managed to get out of it.
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby vaceslav » 02 Jan 2013 09:33

Welcome to MLR.
Be sure to introduce yourself.

Ok, the song...

I've tried to remix this song a few times, and I've never been able to make anything worthwhile. I really like what you've done with it. Like a lot.

Here's what I would to change though.

The reverse crash at the very start needs to not cut out so suddenly, either play it again in the regular direction, or put a butt tonne of reverb on it.

0:48-1:03 kinda seems odd to me. To much instrumental. The chopped vocals in 2:11-2:27 worked better imo.

The kick could be brought forward in the mix a little. And if your going to stick with that snare sample, I'd be putting a tad more reverb on it and pulling the volume down a little.

The delay you put on "ponies" at 1:53 was really nice, I'd be putting it on 1:44 and 1:48 as well.

The high strings you're using as a pad is cool too, but it might be cooler if it was playing chords instead of single notes, hard to say without hearing it. The attack could be maybe a tad faster, but again, without hearing it in action... It might sound better as it is.

The plucked string sound that comes in at 0:33, is it an E Guitar sample or a harpsichord? Either way it sounds really nice. Actually I'm digging the whole sampled-instrument-remix this has going. I mean synths are great and all, but sometimes I'd prefer some pianos and guitars.

I'll probably be listening to this song a fair bit, so I may be back with more feedback later.
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby FlutterYay » 03 Jan 2013 03:00

Thank you both for reviewing, i appreciate it!
It really helps a ton to get some detailed hints from a listener who didn't listen to bars 42-54 solo'ed on the third lead synth and second bass for an hour.
Let me just quote and reply to the points where something comes to my mind.

FermataWordplA wrote:Your samples are grabbing background noise, Twilight's magic and such, very noticeably. I doubt that's what you had in mind. Now I can't tell you how to fix that, as I don't know how to do sample work myself. At the very least you can use some EQ cuts to nullify some of that noise. In general they could be mixed into the track better, since they stand out a bit. Less volume and some reverb, I think.
This is a tough problem, and we have it with almost every MLP vocal track. I already tried to down-EQ the magic on Rarity's part ("Flag of many hues", 0:36) and it became VERY thin. I'm also not too experienced in cleaning samples, but next time i'll dedicate more time to it when sampling. I guess it will boil down to a hell of a lot of notch filters.

FermataWordplA wrote:The snares are a bit dry. Try stacking on some extra snare samples or giving it some EQ cuts.
It is a noise snare i made from scratch and while producing, I actually liked the compact and utilitarian sound. This song has ten tracks of Bass, Lead and Pad going and i felt it complemented the complexity. But it's good to know that this can also stand out to others as flat :P


vaceslav wrote:Welcome to MLR.
Be sure to introduce yourself.
Thank you, i will do that later today!

vaceslav wrote:The reverse crash at the very start needs to not cut out so suddenly, either play it again in the regular direction, or put a butt tonne of reverb on it.
Oh yeah, i must have missed that. In an earlier stage the intro had more boom and it completely masked the crash disappearing. When i toned it down later i probably had gotten too used to it. I must teach my girlfriend to notice these things and tell me ;)

vaceslav wrote:The high strings you're using as a pad is cool too, but it might be cooler if it was playing chords instead of single notes, hard to say without hearing it. The attack could be maybe a tad faster, but again, without hearing it in action... It might sound better as it is.
Sounds good on paper, and i just tried that. These pads play alternate G4/E4 and G5/E5. Adding a third to every note makes it rounder, but when adding the fifth, the whole instrument gets shrill and dissonant. I'm not entirely sure why that happens, but it is interesting.

vaceslav wrote:The plucked string sound that comes in at 0:33, is it an E Guitar sample or a harpsichord? Either way it sounds really nice. Actually I'm digging the whole sampled-instrument-remix this has going. I mean synths are great and all, but sometimes I'd prefer some pianos and guitars.
Agreed! It's actually Ableton's synthesizer for all kinds of stringed instruments called "Tension", playing a guitar patch i created myself.
It does sound amazingly real though.
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby Sonarch » 03 Jan 2013 14:24

I'll give it a listen when I get some time! Like this weekend or something.
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Re: <pony><probably remix>A Fair Plan

Postby Sonarch » 05 Jan 2013 23:15

Alright, now that i've given this a listen, I can't really find anything disagreeable about the song personally. I thought it was all executed pretty well. So, listen to what everyone has said before me and you'll probably have a great track!
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