<WIP><original> For the Lesser Knowns Album - Need Feedback

[Quix]

Hey everyone, thanks for listening! This is going probably to be my submission for the Lesser Knowns II album, and I need some suggestions and flaws pointed out in order to improve the track. And I need a title.

EDIT: Updated a bunch of stuff.

http://soundcloud.com/quix117/wip8

[icedog25]

WARNING: I may or may not know what the hell I'm even talking about. Take that into consideration when reading my comments. And just because I have a wall of text ahead doesn't mean your song is bad. I actually like it quite a bit. I've just spent about an hour clearing my brain of every possible issue I could think of.

Anyway, on with the suggestions.

The intro is what grabs your listener's attention and makes them want to listen to more. I think the intro synth isn't quite strong enough to grab your listener on it's own. Once the bass comes in, it sounds great, but for those first 16 seconds or so, it feels a bit weak. You could switch the times when the bass and the melody come in to make it stronger at the beginning.

at 1:30, I'd suggest a crash or something to give it more oomph. And perhaps a bit less space between the voice and the beat coming back in. I sort of lose track of what the beat should be at that point. That could also be helped out a bit if you had a quick snare fill before coming back into the beat. It's possible that you actually have the right amount of space there, but I start following pinkie's voice, looking for the beat. Anyway, do something at that point to make it easier to keep track of the beat.

at 2:00 and 4:05, that little square wave note doesn't quite fit the chord. perhaps change that note up a few pitches.

If you want drums to sound more real-ish and less sampled, I'd suggest fiddling around with the velocity a bit, particularly with the background snare at 1:10-ish and the hats throughout the song.

At 2:11, that's a bit of a sudden drop off. That's not a bad thing, but it feels like it still has the same beat from before. Possibly get rid of the hi hat and/or the snare just until the bass comes back in to give it the feeling of a new section. A cymbal crash would probably help out there too. And maybe one last note from the melody before it.

At 2:26, maybe change that melody to a minor chord or something? Not sure if that's the best course of action, but it sounds a bit too cheery for the bass as it is. You might be fine leaving it how it is.

And this isn't exactly a problem, just something I would change if it were my song. At 0:42 and 2:45, I'd add in a bass and some chords to give it more strength. I'd give them the same rhythm as the melody there. You can fiddle around with that if you feel like it, but it's not really too big of an issue.

That's pretty much all I can think of in terms of suggestions.

On a more positive note, I really do like how your bass sounds. And I also really like how the main part in the middle sounds. And I think you did a pretty good job at mixing, too. A lot of songs I see here have good synths and melodies, but they overuse the limiter, and the whole thing sounds sort of squashed. This song doesn't have that problem. And all of your melodies are great. None of them sound awkward or forced. All and all, a good song.

Hope some of my notes are helpful. Feel free to ignore anything I wrote here if you disagree.

[colortwelve]

Just a few issues I'm hearing:
-After the first sample, when the song 'drops,' the lead melody sounds a bit repetitive, so I'd play with making it more elaborate and all that.
-Your kick seems to consist of only bass frequencies, which in turn sound overpowered to the point that I'm actually having a hard time hearing them in the context of the track, and thus, they actually manage to sound a little off-rhythm. I'd try toning down the bass and adding in some mids, and maybe playing with the articulation to make it sound a bit tighter to go along with your snare.

[Quix]

Thank you so much for all of the feedback! I really appreciate it, and I'll try to improve the track as best I can.