<Original> <WIP> <Balloon Party> Suggestions and Comment plz

[IndustrialBreeze]

So it's 2 weeks before Balloon Party cuts off submissions, I know I'm cutting it a little close.

This is my first remix in 11 years and the first publicized step into the world of music creation, so don't feel bad about tearing it apart as long as it's constructive critizism.

As mentioned in the soundcloud description, I am hoping to extend it by a minute, but that's if time allows.
If you can particularly comment on what instruments would fit, if the track is too sparse or awkward, things you'd like to hear in it, that would really help. I don't really know the genre, but it's more of a Darkwave / Industrial Dance and Electro style.

I can enhance the bass and kick, if you find it lacking. Distortion Guitar was sampled by myself.
Thanks!

Link: http://soundcloud.com/user1085321/balloonparty-ib-wip