Stargazing The Manehattan Skyline/Goodbye, New Manehattan

[Glitchhog]

Two songs in two days? I think so! This is the final track in the Manehattan series of songs, reminiscent of 'One Cold, Cloudy Night', which many of you may recognize the slightly different intro from. I really poured myself into this one, so I hope you all really enjoy it. I've also hidden the My Little Pony theme in there somewhere, so see if you can find it.

[meletric]

Dig it!
One suggestion though, maybe a bit less sustain? The notes being sustained run into the ones being played which (in my opinion) clashes a bit at some parts.
Also, found it

[-djmk-]

it was kind of disappointing in terms of length, and i definitely agree with meletric that you need to remove a lot of sustain. the pedal should be used, i think, either intelligently or sparingly.
not sure of the chords at 0:45. sound kinda dissident.
might i suggest adding some appoggiaturas before you reach the climax at 2:08? it would better settle it as an actual climax instead of one of the many high points of the song. (speaking of, there's really no resolution which was disappointing)
there's not really a lot of dynamic movement in the song. it's all mf and that's p bad. the movement between parts are kind of erratic and doesn't really bring the piece anywhere, not to mention that i would like to have heard a lot more movement before the piece finished, so it would tell the story better.
i like how you incorporated the mlp theme, that was pretty neat, although honestly, i wouldn't have hidden it beneath a mountain of chords.

that is a lot of critique. sorry.

[Glitchhog]

Haha, thanks for the crit! That certainly is a lot to take in. I guess the easiest way to address some of the key points is that I kind of purposely composed it in that way (erratic/eclectic/experimental is my 'style', I guess. It seems to be working.) It's a closing piece to my Manehattan series, and was written to sound similar to 'One Cold, Cloudy Night in New Manehattan' ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcNOb_UpdL8 ). You may recognize the same intro is used roughly in both pieces.

I also wanted it to end on a low note and not a 'climax' like the first track did. It just didn't feel right as I was composing it. I do agree with the sustain, though. I may upload an alternate version to SoundCloud.

Cheers for the comment.

[LunchBagMusic]

maybe a bit less sustain?

Maybe a LOT less sustain.

the pedal should be used, i think, either intelligently or sparingly.

Here, "intelligently" and "sparingly" are the same thing.

It didn't seem to go where it wanted to go, which was longer and free-er. I'm not sure how to phrase this, but there needs to be less of a leash on this song. Be adventurous!


And for the love of Jazz, more dynamic range.

Basically just more of everything. Except pedal. Less pedal.

[Glitchhog]

I really quite like posting my stuff here, because I get some really decent constructive criticism. Thanks for the comments, everyone. I've just uploaded a less-sustained version, which can be found in the downloads section of the description, or here: http://www.mediafire.com/?6k4ybswziegjmev

Personally, I think it sounds a lot worse, but that's just me. I like the dreamy feeling the sustain gives the song. Structure-wise, I won't be changing anything. I really like it the way it is. As I said above, it's just sort of my 'style'. It isn't traditional piano or jazz by any means, nor would I really want it to be. Either way, cheers for the comments and taking the time to reply. (: