by Twy » 26 Jan 2014 20:06
I'll try and give my thoughts, though I don't think I'm as justified giving criticisms on music like this since this is more unconventional and different than what I'm used to (as well as being a WIP), but I'll give it a shot!
So, at first I was going to point out the hi hats that start at 0:06, saying that they might lack a certain...brief sharpness to them that usually helps keep 'em a bit more subtle and tamed, but after getting further into the track it's apparent that the drums seem to be going for a more classic kind of feel altogether, which makes those sorts of hi hats fit in a lot better. So nevermind I guess!
I like the sections where the track kind of quiets down and gives you a bit to breathe (at 0:45, and 2:00), so to further highlight that effect it might be worth seeing how it sounds to lower the volume of the drums or maybe just simplify the beat, that way when it goes back to the verse synth it feels that much more intense.
The transition of lead synths at 1:15 sounds a bit sudden and jarring. I'm not sure if a different sound or melody would fit better, but you could also try adding elements that lead up to this point to get anticipation going for it, and then add a couple new elements when the new part hits or make certain things louder to make this point really stand out as more of a chorus section sorta thing.
At 1:45, when it dies down after the chorus synth change, one common technique in EDM would be to use crazy reverb to really stretch out the cymbal crash, which can give a nice washing over the track kind of feeling...thing. Again, more of a classic EDM thing, but it could be cool.
I like the This Day Aria sample, but it sounds like it has a a bit of a clicky/hissy end, which I think is actually more an issue with the sample itself, but it was noticeable to me (mostly at the 3:14 point) and might be worth tinkering with to see if it can be smoothed out. I don't know much about how this would be done though, I'm pretty bad at sample editing.
So yeah, cool track though! I look forward to hearing it when it is done. Keep up the good work, Hip, trendy Japanese school girl of the forum!