<pony><Original><Acoustic>Hey Scoots - Bloo

[Bloo]

OH LOOK NOO BLOO MUSIC!! I'm terribly rusty after not making anything for almost a year...Oh well. All I have left to do is improve!

EDIT: OK I THINK IT SHOULD WORK NOW

[Callenby]

"An error occurred, please try again later."

D:

[Conduit]

"An error occurred, please try again later."

D:

D:

[Bloo]

WHY WOULD IT DO THIS ; ;

[Callenby]

I TOTALLY MEANT TO WRITE THIS SOONER BUT INTERNET CRASHES AND JURY DUTY HAPPENED.

It's nice work given that you've been out of commission for a year!

I would say vary the accompaniment pattern more. It's rather repetitive as it is and shifts from chord to chord. It does change up at around 2 minutes in but I think it would benefit from more. Grace notes, turns, little inflections. That sort of thing.

Speaking of the break at 2 minutes, see if you can't smooth the transition a little more. I got the sense that it was supposed to have a very fluid feel.

Also, I found the shaker a little distracting. Maybe lower the volume a tad?

You have two different sections present here and by the end it seemed like it ought to return back to the original one (thus making it the standard ABA structure). By no means do you have to do this, but it's a commonly used format for a reason - it gives a sense of completeness and unity in composition. If you did return, wouldn't even have to make it the exact same; you could make it ABA' (such as by keeping the same chords but changing the harmonic pattern and lyrics), which would help maintain structure but still keep things nice and varied. The ending feels unresolved (unless that's what you intended in which case well done).

I feel like I'm being overly critical with this but I'm just trying to help. I do like what you have so far.