<Pony?><Original> The Adventures Of /mlp/

[The Mad God]

https://soundcloud.com/mad-gods-realm/the-adventures-of-mlp

Hello everyone. I bring you this track I finished more than a month ago in collaboration with /mlp/'s T:EM/P/O thread. I deemed this a finished project, but I would like to see critique from a different angle. I'm 100% convinced that this is one of my best songs, which isn't saying much because I'm horrible, but I would like to see where I went wrong so I can fix other things.

[Nine Volt]

https://soundcloud.com/mad-gods-realm/the-adventures-of-mlp

Hello everyone. I bring you this track I finished more than a month ago in collaboration with /mlp/'s T:EM/P/O thread. I deemed this a finished project, but I would like to see critique from a different angle. I'm 100% convinced that this is one of my best songs, which isn't saying much because I'm horrible, but I would like to see where I went wrong so I can fix other things.

I applaud you for still seeming to have your sanity after visiting /mlp/.

Right off the bat that (tomb)snare sounds muffled, bring out your highs a bit. Maybe add some punch to it too (around 200hz). Side note, that snare sounds just like snare 8 in the BIAB snare pack.

At the beginning there's some crackling going on, almost like clipping although it doesn't appear to be clipping (and it wasn't my headphones, I checked). It's really distracting while listening to the song and while that type of sound can be used effectively intentionally, I don't think it was here.

The song goes really out of key at the end of the arp's riff. Seems intentional, but it just doesn't work here.

That reverse cymbal and crash at 0:32 are too loud, and the hats before that could do with being brought down slightly.

The lead melody feels a bit awkward (the first part, second part is fine). Might be just me though. By the second repetition the song is getting a boring to listen to; try automating a lot more stuff, like filter cutoff or even distortion dry/wets or something and just having them change over time.

Also at the lead melody part, your kick and snare are beginning to become lost in the mix. You should sidechain more and cut anything below about 150hz on anything that isn't a kick or bass, saves a lot of headroom. May want to also notch out 200hz so your snare can punch through better (and while you're at it consider sidechaining slightly to your snare).

Around 1:19, the notes that the lead is playing just don't work. It sounds like you may have (accidentally?) gone out of key there.

At 1:23 (or wherever that low saw synth comes in), your kick is pretty much gone. The saw synth is taking up most of its frequencies. You can fix that with EQ or sidechaining the saw synth more.

At 1:40 it's starting to feel repetitive and boring; you've been playing the exact same drum loop for most of the song and there hasn't been enough variation to keep me too interested in the song as a whole.

Around 2:00 (or 1:60 as Soundcloud said when I paused it), I realized you were just using the saw synth to play the same melodies as the lead from before, and it's really failing to hold my attention. As I said before, automation is your friend. That's how prog house producers keep listeners interested for like 10 minutes despite having pretty much the same thing for most of it (I realize this isn't prog house but the statement still stands).

At 2:16 or so the crackling becomes quite noticeable again. It's a fine breakdown, but it feels a bit bland (I can only hear 2 or 3 synths playing and they don't quite take up enough frequencies) and I think it should've come in earlier.

Up until the outro around 3:45, the issues highlighted previously are still present. It just sounds like you changed the drum beat.

Regarding the outro, it's fine. I think you went out of key twice though. It went on for a bit but it ended off the song fine.

Overall, I think you should work on making your drums stand out more as well as song structure. I feel this song could've been fine with being about a minute shorter.

[The Mad God]

https://soundcloud.com/mad-gods-realm/the-adventures-of-mlp

Hello everyone. I bring you this track I finished more than a month ago in collaboration with /mlp/'s T:EM/P/O thread. I deemed this a finished project, but I would like to see critique from a different angle. I'm 100% convinced that this is one of my best songs, which isn't saying much because I'm horrible, but I would like to see where I went wrong so I can fix other things.

I applaud you for still seeming to have your sanity after visiting /mlp/.

Right off the bat that (tomb)snare sounds muffled, bring out your highs a bit. Maybe add some punch to it too (around 200hz). Side note, that snare sounds just like snare 8 in the BIAB snare pack.

At the beginning there's some crackling going on, almost like clipping although it doesn't appear to be clipping (and it wasn't my headphones, I checked). It's really distracting while listening to the song and while that type of sound can be used effectively intentionally, I don't think it was here.

The song goes really out of key at the end of the arp's riff. Seems intentional, but it just doesn't work here.

That reverse cymbal and crash at 0:32 are too loud, and the hats before that could do with being brought down slightly.

The lead melody feels a bit awkward (the first part, second part is fine). Might be just me though. By the second repetition the song is getting a boring to listen to; try automating a lot more stuff, like filter cutoff or even distortion dry/wets or something and just having them change over time.

Also at the lead melody part, your kick and snare are beginning to become lost in the mix. You should sidechain more and cut anything below about 150hz on anything that isn't a kick or bass, saves a lot of headroom. May want to also notch out 200hz so your snare can punch through better (and while you're at it consider sidechaining slightly to your snare).

Around 1:19, the notes that the lead is playing just don't work. It sounds like you may have (accidentally?) gone out of key there.

At 1:23 (or wherever that low saw synth comes in), your kick is pretty much gone. The saw synth is taking up most of its frequencies. You can fix that with EQ or sidechaining the saw synth more.

At 1:40 it's starting to feel repetitive and boring; you've been playing the exact same drum loop for most of the song and there hasn't been enough variation to keep me too interested in the song as a whole.

Around 2:00 (or 1:60 as Soundcloud said when I paused it), I realized you were just using the saw synth to play the same melodies as the lead from before, and it's really failing to hold my attention. As I said before, automation is your friend. That's how prog house producers keep listeners interested for like 10 minutes despite having pretty much the same thing for most of it (I realize this isn't prog house but the statement still stands).

At 2:16 or so the crackling becomes quite noticeable again. It's a fine breakdown, but it feels a bit bland (I can only hear 2 or 3 synths playing and they don't quite take up enough frequencies) and I think it should've come in earlier.

Up until the outro around 3:45, the issues highlighted previously are still present. It just sounds like you changed the drum beat.

Regarding the outro, it's fine. I think you went out of key twice though. It went on for a bit but it ended off the song fine.

Overall, I think you should work on making your drums stand out more as well as song structure. I feel this song could've been fine with being about a minute shorter.

Damn son, that is some good critique. Feels good to know people around here can give a guy some knowledge to help a guy out. I could do some of this, but being the lazy bastard I am, I probably wont get it done soon. Thanks for the help.

[Nine Volt]

-critique-

Damn son, that is some good critique. Feels good to know people around here can give a guy some knowledge to help a guy out. I could do some of this, but being the lazy bastard I am, I probably wont get it done soon. Thanks for the help.

No problem :3