by Jokeblue » 11 Aug 2013 04:25
THE STORY SO FAR
There once was a mysterious old squid with arthritis who was cursed to party forever. So he went to a gym and bought a lol doll. Then, the doll got HIV from a large man who was strong and big and liked to screw the rules with his fist. So the squid and Po, the giant tarantula, went on a quest to find the Ultimate Source of Magic and Might. It has been 12 billion years since the beginning and my pie still tastes like feet and bourbon.
We all thought what the hell? So we started smacking random pandas with my ass and my wet fish. This was the saddest day ever to be. I ate your pony named Rainbow Dash because I love to crush dreams with my face. So I walked to the store, held my boombox high, and blasted Alex.S, while everybody else was dancing like a wild animal and flailing like magikarps off of a three story building - into your smelly Egg McMuffin sandwich.
Unfortunately, the tarantula really liked dogs, so they used a time hole to escape his timeline. Unfortunately, he crossed the streams, and everyone died.
But not really.
Like, seven survived and then starved.
So everyone died - except one guy - he died too, after he wrote "Goddamn internet, crashed while I was working on my abs to attract Dust mites. Dayumn" I didn't expect the story to last this long or someone to die, I mean, what's the point? I died yesterday, it's not impressive. But even though that happened, I ate my neighbor's husband's cat's hat polish, and now he got herpes. How'm I s'pposed To fall up? And with these shoes?!
...Around my neck is a rope controlling... forcing me to eat somebody's little poop from their hairy giant hole that's inside her big, nasty, ugly, cute, chicken platter hat....
....Is tasty. YUM!
...Why did Obama ban penguin reproduction? Also, since when was carpentry illegal? that's so unfair!
Wait- Oh, right.
I'm serious, though. Once upon a
Last edited by
Jokeblue on 11 Aug 2013 04:37, edited 1 time in total.