The hugging/venting thread

[Pickslide1992]

Anyone out there have that worthless feeling? Like your sole purpose in life is to be a leech on society and not contribute or if you do, every little thing you do wrong is criticized? Yep, that's me. I feel pathetic, like every happy part of me has been surgically removed from my sad sack of a skin. I feel useless, I don't have the drive to do anything that used to bring me joy.

Answer me this, is this what Rock Bottom feels like?

[Applejinx]

Anyone out there have that worthless feeling? Like your sole purpose in life is to be a leech on society and not contribute or if you do, every little thing you do wrong is criticized? Yep, that's me. I feel pathetic, like every happy part of me has been surgically removed from my sad sack of a skin. I feel useless, I don't have the drive to do anything that used to bring me joy.

Answer me this, is this what Rock Bottom feels like?

Dunno. Is there something obvious to change? I had to hit rock bottom on drugs/drinking, and then much later on smoking cigarettes.

Rock bottom feels like "I don't even care anymore, I don't care what happens to me, I don't care what it feels like for me, but I AM DONE with this" (whatever 'this' is).

Maybe the insight is that your whole reason for being is about being 'useful and contributing' and that's why it hurts so much? I've always had to give that up in order to get it- what I mean is, when I most desperately needed to matter, I really didn't. I still mostly don't but I come in handy now and then- the most exciting way recently was helping Bronycon. I'm still looking for ways to give back to the world that has tolerated me being stuck in it- and still spending a lot of time feeling like that's a little bit laughable.

All the coolest people I know seem to feel the same way, though- and that's a real eye-opener.

[Pickslide1992]

Anyone out there have that worthless feeling? Like your sole purpose in life is to be a leech on society and not contribute or if you do, every little thing you do wrong is criticized? Yep, that's me. I feel pathetic, like every happy part of me has been surgically removed from my sad sack of a skin. I feel useless, I don't have the drive to do anything that used to bring me joy.

Answer me this, is this what Rock Bottom feels like?

Dunno. Is there something obvious to change? I had to hit rock bottom on drugs/drinking, and then much later on smoking cigarettes.

Rock bottom feels like "I don't even care anymore, I don't care what happens to me, I don't care what it feels like for me, but I AM DONE with this" (whatever 'this' is).

Maybe the insight is that your whole reason for being is about being 'useful and contributing' and that's why it hurts so much? I've always had to give that up in order to get it- what I mean is, when I most desperately needed to matter, I really didn't. I still mostly don't but I come in handy now and then- the most exciting way recently was helping Bronycon. I'm still looking for ways to give back to the world that has tolerated me being stuck in it- and still spending a lot of time feeling like that's a little bit laughable.

All the coolest people I know seem to feel the same way, though- and that's a real eye-opener.

That's how I feel, like all the joy I have in life is taken away. I'd like to be a bigger help, but financial issues and not having a car play a part in this. Believe me, I would have loved to help out at Bronycon myself, but again I didn't have the money to get tickets, let alone plane fare and such.

I dunno, I feel embarrassed talking about this, I'm almost 20 and I'm complaining like a little baby.

[Applejinx]

I dunno, I feel embarrassed talking about this, I'm almost 20 and I'm complaining like a little baby.

Well, I'm 44, so you ARE a little... pony

It's going to be okay, I promise. Hang in there and don't get in too much trouble- you might not understand what strange times these are. It's really rough out there. That's part of the reason why so many of us turned to poni to find something that was good and sincere.

You WILL get the chance to be that good thing in the world, if you want it. And you do want it, it's obvious. Be a lil' more patient.

[Freewave]

I dunno, I feel embarrassed talking about this, I'm almost 20 and I'm complaining like a little baby.

Well, I'm 44, so you ARE a little... pony

It's going to be okay, I promise. Hang in there and don't get in too much trouble- you might not understand what strange times these are. It's really rough out there. That's part of the reason why so many of us turned to poni to find something that was good and sincere.

You WILL get the chance to be that good thing in the world, if you want it. And you do want it, it's obvious. Be a lil' more patient.

Oh good I was mentally preparing myself for being the oldest brony musician alive and i'm glad to know that's not the case. Brohoof to a fellow older stallion though.

[Ed Viper]

Pretty horrible news from me now. Some of you may have seen the thread I made for my friend Tim, who passed as a result of a car crash on the 4th. That wasn't the end of it, apparently.

Well, one of my dogs (I have two) started acting real weird yesterday. He was panting all the time, and he had really staccato breathing. His tail was between his legs whenever he walked, and he'd only be able to take a couple steps at a time before having to stop for rest. His gait was also much different than normal, as he began walking with fore-paws really close to each other, and his hind-paws did the same.

We took him into the vet this morning, and I just got a call from him. It's not looking good. Doc says he might have a tumor in his stomach, in which case he'll need to be put down either tonight or tomorrow. The test results aren't all back, yet, but it's not looking good.

This dog is the sweetest dog I've ever known. He is more than a pet, he's a friend. Someone I can talk to, who always seems to know when I'm feeling sad or depressed. Every time I've began doubting myself, whether it was about my music, or my work, or anything else imaginable, he'd be there to reassure me with a little lick of my hand, or a paw on my lap. I love this dog more than anything in the world, and I don't know how long it'll take me to recover if I have to put him down.

I mean, he even stopped eating, but when I handed him the rest of a piece of cheese (one of those string cheese things) that I was eating, he took it gladly and licked my hand. I'll miss this dog forever.

Someone hold me

[Facade]

Someone hold me

i know that feel i too once lost a pet that meant a lot to me it was such a hard time in my life
*facade hugs emp*

[Ed Viper]

I just got back from the vet. We had to put him down. He had some sort of mass of flesh which grew in his chest, and began pushing against his heart and lungs. There was no other recourse. At least I got to be with him while it happened. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I had left him to die alone.



I'll miss you, Cody.

[LunchBagMusic]

Bro I am feeling very real feelings for you right now. I would hug you but there's 8000 miles between you and me, so have my hugs over the internet instead.

We're always here for you, man

[Pickslide1992]

Oh man, Ubermensch, that sucks. I had to put my dog down a year ago due to an advanced lymphoma. I feel like crying, kind of. That makes my earlier problem look mundane by comparison. (Hugs)

[Ed Viper]

Thanks, you guys. I'm taking this really hard.

It's like somethin' out of a movie, really. It's all hot and sunny all day, but once we stepped out of that vet's office, it started raining. I know it's just a really weird coincidence, but still.

[Navron]

I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of emotional pain that you must be going through right now, having both those losses so close to eachother. I'm sure everybody agrees that we would all give you the biggest hug in the world by now.

As a military man, my views on death and loss are rather skewed, due to the hazardous nature of our flying. Most of us know that in our careers, we will know somebody who dies in a mishap, and it could very well be us on any given day. For that reason, I guess you could say we've become more accepting of it.

I'm a spiritual Catholic, but regardless of what I and other people believe, there's one thing that we can all agree on. Something that's proven, true, and cannot be denied.

So while you cherish the memories and mourn for your loss, remember that in some way, shape, and form, new life is taking it's place, and that is 100% true on both scientific, and spiritual levels. Through death comes the creation of new life, and that is something I personally find beautiful, and very coping in times like these.

Don't let the anger and frustration that comes from a tragic loss bottle up inside. If need be, take a break from the modern world, find a place in nature you love, and think about how the life around you is all a part of those you've lost.

In a way, they will never leave you. Ever.

[Facade]

Thanks, you guys. I'm taking this really hard.

It's like somethin' out of a movie, really. It's all hot and sunny all day, but once we stepped out of that vet's office, it started raining. I know it's just a really weird coincidence, but still.

*hugs* i'm sorry man it must of hurt a lot. there is no way anything i have been through has amounted to this. i too have lost pets i was very attached to. it hurt a lot. and then on top of that a few days later my parents got divorced. to tell the truth i'm still hurt by it. if you need someone to talk i'm here for you.

[Pickslide1992]

Thanks, you guys. I'm taking this really hard.

It's like somethin' out of a movie, really. It's all hot and sunny all day, but once we stepped out of that vet's office, it started raining. I know it's just a really weird coincidence, but still.

Looking out for you, man. I know exactly how you feel. It took me days, weeks to overcome the loss.

[Pinkydash]

I know the feeling, really really well.
In my life of 18 years, I have lost a lot of friends and family members whom I truly cared about. Its a horrible feeling to have the news brought to you so suddenly, then to lose another friend while your already down. I won't lie, these kinds of events in your life will change you forever, however it's also important to see the positive in something like this. Remember all the times you spent with yours friends and family. Keep them locked away in a secure part of your brain, where you can treasure all the good times you've spent with those your cared about. Everything will die at some point, but as long as you continue to remember them, they will live inside of you.

[Magnitude Zero]

^ Everyone else articulated my sentiments ways I could never hope to, but I want you to know that I'm feeling for you as well. We're all here for you.

[Ed Viper]

Thank you all once again, you all really make it easier.

You also gave some really good advice, Navy, I think I'll take it.

[MatthewMosierMusic]

So its official... Ive dropped out of school. But on the bright side, Ive decided to go back to my life as military. Spoke with the recruiter today, and it looks like im moving out of my apt august 12, then actually signing up and heading to basic in sept. should be shipping out around june. Im terrified.

[inkBot]

EmpUbermensch - I'm sorry for your loss, both of them, and I hope you'll pull through okay. Losing a pet on top of what already happened must hurt so bad. For what it's worth, he looked like a really happy and loved dog. *hug*

[vladnuke]

So its official... Ive dropped out of school. But on the bright side, Ive decided to go back to my life as military. Spoke with the recruiter today, and it looks like im moving out of my apt august 12, then actually signing up and heading to basic in sept. should be shipping out around june. Im terrified.

Well, good luck man. I hope you'll still be able to make everyone's lives better with your guitar once you come back.

@Emp


That fucking sucks, bro.

Have a hug.

Next time I go over to another house that lets animals in it (i.e. not mine), I'll make sure to bring them a treat.

[Navron]

So its official... Ive dropped out of school. But on the bright side, Ive decided to go back to my life as military. Spoke with the recruiter today, and it looks like im moving out of my apt august 12, then actually signing up and heading to basic in sept. should be shipping out around june. Im terrified.

Which service and what job are you signing up for?

[MatthewMosierMusic]

I'm looking at being an army combat engineer.

[Ed Viper]

Funny, I just saw your post Matt, and I was gonna tell you to go to Navy for advice. Guess he beat me to it.

[Navron]

I can't give Army related advice since they run deployments and training differently, but the one thing that's universal amongst all services, is your rate/job determines your entire experience.

Do your research on your job, find out what it's going to be like day to day, and make sure it's what you absolutely want.

A lot of people go into jobs they think sound good, but they don't do research to see what it fully entails, and they end up having a miserable 4-6 years of service.

If you do the research, know exactly what you want, and take advantage of all the different opportunities the military offers, you will likely have a fun and exciting career.

[colortwelve]

Well, my time for venting is now over, since I just got my music stuff backed up off of the laptop I had been using, which broke, but something occurred to me.

It's been a week now since I've made any music or had any access at all to my DAW... And it killed me. I was on the verge of tears this morning (a grand feat, since I honestly do not remember the last time I cried) wondering what I would do if I ended up being unable to back up my stuff. I'm only wondering now... Could that be just a little unhealthy? It's certainly an indicator that I'm serious about music, but I wonder if I could be overdoing it a bit