The hugging/venting thread

[vladnuke]

Well, I haven't been in this thread since February. Time for a little vent...

I feel utterly and completely average. There is absolutely nothing (That I know of yet), that I'm good at. I feel like a CMC.

Lately I've been getting a lot of shit from my friends and family because it seems like I can't do anything right. I have no special talents, I'm not known for being good at something, I just feel like I can't do anything right. Since I've been getting ripped on by everyone for screwing things up, My depression and anxiety have shot into overdrive. For the past 3 days, I've only left the house once to go get grocieries.

I've always had confidence issues, and when I actually do find some confidence it's beaten down by something. I try and keep a positive attitude, but lately it's been "Meh, Fuck it ." I just need a good kick in the ass to go out and get motivated, anyone got any tips and tricks?

And don't get me started on my music, I have a shitty: one gig ram, linux, lmms, overheating piece of crap dell. I can barely write 10 seconds of something before it all falls apart. I use my Mom's work laptop to get on the forums.

Man, this place could use a RPing forum...

I second this.

Save up cash
Buy computer parts.
Make computer.
Trust me, having a good computer does more than just help write music, it helps tremendously in other areas of work. Making a PC is not as hard as it seems. It takes a little work, but the end result is something that will last you for about 7 years before becoming outdated (in computer time, that's pretty much a millenium) and who knows how long before breaking down.. You will save money on repairs, and you'll learn a lot about how your computer works.

As for confidence, just find something to do and do it. It doesn't have to be music, it just has to be something productive (or at least more productive than ass mastering). You'll only feel confident when you personally feel that you've earned that confidence. So the only way to do that is to do something that enriches your life.

[5COPY]

So I have just cried myself dry from tears. I realized how bad I were at sudden things. Then I started listening to Coldplay - Fix You and got even sadder when I put the lyrics in life perspective. So while sitting there thoughts came to mind... About how little the people we look up to care about us. You sit there dreaming you'll become as good as the one you look up to. But once you realize you'll never get as good as the one you want to be as good as it starts having influence on your work and it starts sounding worse to you. I just don't care about popularity I really don't I just want to sound good. I want to have fun with my work. So do you, you want to be proud. People always ask me why I never upload finished work, I'm scared of people finding mistakes I that I couldn't fix I'm scared of the though that people think I got worse. I've even had thoughts on just quiting music and just try and DJ instead. Then people asked me if I wanted to make the level or play the level. I said I wanted to make it but I just can't figure out how to make it exactly how I want it and you see these people doing so much better. All of you know this feel...

When you try your best but you don't succeed. And the tears come streaming down your face.


My eyes are getting wet again...


I almost feel it's just not worth it, my parents doesn't even support me with it. They think it's a waste of time. They think I'm more productive when I just sit a play the exact same song over and over on the piano rather than sitting and spending days on writing my own melody and sound.

[wu long cha]

So I have just cried myself dry from tears. I realized how bad I were at sudden things. Then I started listening to Coldplay - Fix You and got even sadder when I put the lyrics in life perspective. So while sitting there thoughts came to mind... About how little the people we look up to care about us. You sit there dreaming you'll become as good as the one you look up to. But once you realize you'll never get as good as the one you want to be as good as it starts having influence on your work and it starts sounding worse to you. I just don't care about popularity I really don't I just want to sound good. I want to have fun with my work. So do you, you want to be proud. People always ask me why I never upload finished work, I'm scared of people finding mistakes I that I couldn't fix I'm scared of the though that people think I got worse. I've even had thoughts on just quiting music and just try and DJ instead. Then people asked me if I wanted to make the level or play the level. I said I wanted to make it but I just can't figure out how to make it exactly how I want it and you see these people doing so much better. All of you know this feel...

When you try your best but you don't succeed. And the tears come streaming down your face.


My eyes are getting wet again...


I almost feel it's just not worth it, my parents doesn't even support me with it. They think it's a waste of time. They think I'm more productive when I just sit a play the exact same song over and over on the piano rather than sitting and spending days on writing my own melody and sound.

aigoo 5copy *hugggg*
awwrite, pep-talk time.
i know how you feel i think it's something every musician could relate to, this feeling of inadequacy. sometimes it feels like nothing seems to click and everything just tends to sound horribly wrong. everybody goes through it. it's all a matter of how you view the glass - half-full or half-empty. sure, you may have some shortcomings. everybody has them. don't think of it as inadequacy. think of it as something to improve (that you can and will improve!) i'm not sure if i worded it correctly, but you get me, right? "think positively" is what i'm getting at right now. if you're ever feeling blue, the best thing to do is to look at all the positive comments people say about your music! i've listened to some of your stuff while writing this post, and believe me, you don't suck. (this counts as one)

and mistakes? what mistakes, you're writing your own music, there are no mistakes! honestly, don't worry about them. (not saying there's anything wrong with being meticulous) if it happens, it happens. mistakes humanize us. also, don't worry about the people who point them out. if they're being constructive with their criticism, great! you could always remix/rewrite/re-something your stuff on a boring rainy day and fix it up next time. if they're just pointing it out without suggestions, they're dicks. they're not even worth your time. it's great that you're part of mlr, since there's a whole board where people could post their music and get feedback. if you're feeling kinda iffy about a certain track, remember you could just post it up there as a wip and get pretty honest feedback + suggestions.

as for the parents thing, i can't truly comment on it since i don't know them, but hey! screw their feelings. if you create something great they're bound to love it. if they don't, well, they're just mean.

all in all, don't give up! it's all worth it, trust me. remember, you're an amazing artist; just push through! you can get through this!

[Lethaargic]

Well, I haven't been in this thread since February. Time for a little vent...

I feel utterly and completely average. There is absolutely nothing (That I know of yet), that I'm good at. I feel like a CMC.

Lately I've been getting a lot of shit from my friends and family because it seems like I can't do anything right. I have no special talents, I'm not known for being good at something, I just feel like I can't do anything right. Since I've been getting ripped on by everyone for screwing things up, My depression and anxiety have shot into overdrive. For the past 3 days, I've only left the house once to go get grocieries.

I've always had confidence issues, and when I actually do find some confidence it's beaten down by something. I try and keep a positive attitude, but lately it's been "Meh, Fuck it ." I just need a good kick in the ass to go out and get motivated, anyone got any tips and tricks?

As for confidence, just find something to do and do it... do something that enriches your life.

^this
Seriously, me and my best bro have been going through the same shit. Like were not doing anything because were no good at anything. But I didn't get into making music because I was good at it, hell no I did it because I wanted, more than anything. But it's not even about music, my best friend tonight packed a bag and left his house to go live homeless and find himself on the roads. I shit you not. And I'm about to go hit the railroad tracks for a week or two as well. Sometimes the most confidence building thing you can do is to stop contemplating something, and just do it.

Don't think it was easy though to just let him walk. I don't post here much either, but tonight I am. The last person in my life I would call a brother turned into a swerve ass thieving junkie last year, and now my only close friend is talking about suicide and how he can't stand living with his girl who got in a bad car accident, who he's been having to take care of for the last two years. and his alcoholic mom who sucks every penny you can suck from an unemployed person. He can't stand not being able to be a man and provide for his family.

I honestly don't think he would kill himself, but I couldn't get it out of my head that what if it happened, and I didn't do or say anything to try and stop it. So I made myself tell him that I loved him like family. It was hard to say, and I knew he would probably not take it to heart (this guy has convicted murderers in his family, but he is a good person and has a good heart) he's just tough like that. I hate not being able to do anything to help him, but I had to let him be a man, as one man to another. I know that, and he knows that.

[5COPY]

I love this place more than any other we're always there for each other

[SwissArmyCheese]

I love this place more than any other we're always there for each other

It is nice to hear what someone else is going through and that you're not alone. Kinda puts things into perspective.

[Pickslide1992]

Yeah, that's why I made this thread, so we can help each other out with matters like existential crises or just bad days overall.

Take me for instance. I just got accused of being a doucher for just giving out some generally well accepted guitar advice (Learning some basic chords and trying out some songs which use said chords like American Pie). Seriously, what's so douchey about that? So a beginning guitarist doesn't know a mixolydian scale or split chords yet, Rome wasn't built in a day. I can understand if it's a guy with an acoustic who does the same 3-4 chords over and over but everyone has to start somewhere. That's where I began, and that was 4 years ago. I think I've greatly improved, but how exactly does giving useful advice make me a douchebag, huh? Someone please tell me.

Yes, my jimmies are a bit rustled here.

[Freewave]

yeah that's crap, you dont have to be the best musician to teach other's things. a musician should always be part teacher, part student. if you've stopped learning then there's a problem as you really shouldn't ever stop that.

[Pickslide1992]

yeah that's crap, you dont have to be the best musician to teach other's things. a musician should always be part teacher, part student. if you've stopped learning then there's a problem as you really shouldn't ever stop that.

Exactly. Each song I do, regardless of whether or not I make it public, is a learning experience, be it a new technique or a new synth I just learned to use (Synth1 is a life saver). I always tell people starting out that you can learn a few chords and get ready to jam. That's how I was taught, and that's the info I give to new guitarists.

[Freewave]

So I have just cried myself dry from tears. I realized how bad I were at sudden things. Then I started listening to Coldplay - Fix You and got even sadder when I put the lyrics in life perspective. So while sitting there thoughts came to mind... About how little the people we look up to care about us. You sit there dreaming you'll become as good as the one you look up to. But once you realize you'll never get as good as the one you want to be as good as it starts having influence on your work and it starts sounding worse to you. I just don't care about popularity I really don't I just want to sound good. I want to have fun with my work. So do you, you want to be proud. People always ask me why I never upload finished work, I'm scared of people finding mistakes I that I couldn't fix I'm scared of the though that people think I got worse. I've even had thoughts on just quiting music and just try and DJ instead. Then people asked me if I wanted to make the level or play the level. I said I wanted to make it but I just can't figure out how to make it exactly how I want it and you see these people doing so much better. All of you know this feel...

When you try your best but you don't succeed. And the tears come streaming down your face.


My eyes are getting wet again...


I almost feel it's just not worth it, my parents doesn't even support me with it. They think it's a waste of time. They think I'm more productive when I just sit a play the exact same song over and over on the piano rather than sitting and spending days on writing my own melody and sound.

honestly 5copy you are one of the better "up and comers". don't doubt your abilities as you really do make some GREAT music. just keep at it (you submit to eqd right? keep doing that). being a musician to non musicians will always look silly but that why you do it for yourself. just performing other peoples music instead of making your own is really retarded so i cant agree with that. parents will be parents tho so if making music is rebelling then its better than binge drinking.

[Trillionage]

5COPY, never forget that you are not alone. Somebody somewhere supports you even if you think your parents don't. But the fact that you call them parents means you still love them and they love you back. You should talk to your parents, as in sit down and tell them straight to their eyes what YOU want. Your parents care for you and want the best for you, but you are still your own person. It's not like you are selling drugs or doing something illegal. You are making music you love.

Right now you say you are bad at music only because you are feeling bad, which only feeds into itself. Don't worry so much about what other WILL think, but rather about improving. If some people find mistakes, then just take their honest criticism and ignore the people who are only flaming.

[5COPY]

This thread fixed me

[Tantalus]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

[5COPY]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

If it can make you feel better. My Dad drinks a lot and we're not able to talk very well with each other. I haven't ever been in a ssituation like yours so I can't really give any advice :C

but have some happy music to make you feel better.


MLR is still here for you C:

[Lethaargic]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

I'm sorry that it hurts you that he does drugs. As someone who has been in your fathers position, I can tell you that he isn't likely to stop for you or anyone else. He has to stop for himself. If it's causing problems in his life (which include hurting his child) he has to hit bottom and realize that. as obvious as it sounds, he's not in his right mind. It might be hard to understand if your not someone who does or has been around a lot of people who use. What ever you do try not to permanently distance yourself from him (since it doesn't sound like your in any danger of using your self). If his use has become detrimental to him and his loved ones, and if he hits a breaking point, having people there for support could mean the difference between life and death.

much love and hugs

[Spark]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

Ouch, dude.

I agree with Spacepsy. He has to hit rock bottom and you have to be right there with him along with your mom to get him right back up. Recovering from any addiction is very hard, especially the physical ones (like alcohol and drugs), and the drugs are messin' up your dad's head. To quote an article written by an alcoholic who recovered successfully:

"But the next level will really get to you. You'll remember specific people who, at the time, seemed like the biggest assholes in the world. They criticized you. Made you feel worthless. Told you that you needed to grow up. Threatened to end their relationship with you if you didn't change. You'll remember thinking, "Fuck them! If they can't accept me for who I am, then they're not my friends." And that's when it hits home ...

The booze wasn't who you are. It was just something you did. Those people weren't trying to hurt you -- they were trying to fucking help you. They weren't the enemy ... they were the strongest line of defense you had, fighting tooth and nail to keep you alive, and you didn't even recognize it. At that point, if your gut doesn't drop into your shoes, there's a good chance that you were born of evil intent. Because if you're like the millions of addicts who all react in the same way, you cut them out of your life."

Whatever happens, we're here for you, dude. *gives infinity+1 hugs*

link to article is here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-things-you-dont-realize-about-addiction-until-you-quit/.

[Pickslide1992]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

I know that feel. My aunt is like that. She liked to booze up any chance she got then later graduated onto crack and heroin. Her daughter ended up being a pothead for a while, but thankfully she's gotten on the straight and narrow and is working at an animal shelter. The former, however, I think she's getting better, but I'm not sure.

Hopefully things will work out in your favor and your old man won't chase the dragon, as it were, again. (hugs)

[Magnitude Zero]

So...where do I begin.. When I visited my Dad in California 2 years ago (Last time I saw him until 2 days ago) he disappeared as soon as we got there. He didn't come back until late the next morning. He was stoned. He was high as a kite. His hands we're shaking and he wasn't sleeping all the time. When my Mom told me, I broke down crying. Only to look and to see him standing there crying too. We then left on bad terms.

Now 2 years later, He's visiting again, Sitting in the living room with my Mom watching 300. Mom came into my room about 45 minutes ago and said "Your Dad got high, His hands are shaking and he isn't sleeping." I was distraught. How could he come into my fucking house and get high? I haven't sad anything to him yet. Not planning on it. To sad and too angry. He won't listen to my pleas of asking him to stop. Turned to my computer, put Balloon Party on with high volume and closed my door. Been doing nothing but pony ever since. Then I remembered about this thread and here I am.

TL;DR: I need hugs. Badly.

Shit. I really can't possibly imagine going through something like that. I can't offer any advice, but I can offer hugs. Take all of my hugs.

[Kagetori]

Today's my birthday and no friends. =T

Uggh, what the heck am I doing posting for pity, this is so pathetic of me.

[MorteMcAdaver]

Today's my birthday and no friends. =T

Uggh, what the heck am I doing posting for pity, this is so pathetic of me.

I don't think you're pathetic. Birthdays can be nice on your own (says the loner), but I know it must suck feeling passed over or neglected. Merry birthmas to you, and from my dear friends, The Slomski Bros.

[Captain Ironhelm]

well, happy belated birthday! I'm a few hours late.

[Freewave]

Happy birthday man. Give it time and friends will come; spread the seeds, water with goodwill, be active, and give it a little time.

[Trillionage]

Late happy birthday

[Kagetori]

Thanks

[vladnuke]

Ok, I'm just pissed right now.

I have been trying to sell a bunch of shit on eBay, but all I get are these stupid fucking Nigerian scammers trying to steal my shit. I have, right now, a $2000 camera that I'm trying to budge, but it seems like the only takers are these dumbass motherfuckers, so that thing is still sitting on my desk unopened, waiting for someone to actually pay money for it. I can only sell $5000 worth of stuff a month, and this shit has already happened twice, so I only have one more chance to budge that thing. I mean, I don't even know how to use it, and have no plans on learning.

Sigh, might just try craigslist. At least if anyone tries to scam me there I can tell them right to their face to fuck off.

On a completely unrelated note, anyone in LA want to buy a big expensive camera? lol


inb4makkontellsmenottosellstuffherebutpleasesendmeapmorsomethingkthnx