by Alycs » 13 Feb 2014 15:35
Its a reference to the great Teapot Wars, when the Tea Lord invaded the lands of the barbarian people of Kettle. At first it was a slaughter, as the Tea Lord had hundreds of years of military tradition and achievements behind him as part of the Beverage Wars. The Kettle Nation had been founded by rebels only a few decades prior, and had a much less sophisticated infrastructure. However, being a more progression nation, it had allied itself closely with the more advanced people of Stove-top; the stove top people also had a grudge against the Tea Lord, as for centuries their resources had been used up ruthlessly by the Tea people to further their industrialization - the fit with the Kettle people only fit. However, the Lands of the Kettle people and the Stove Top people were far apart, and the swiftness and ferocity of the Tea Lords attack had left no time for the victims to send for aid. However, once news of the attack came over the great Commodi-Sea, the Stove Tops rushed to help their allies.
Yet the Tea Lord was clever, and had anticipated such a move, and had counter-aligned himself with the ancient Ovens. The grudge between the ovens and the stove tops had been brewing for centuries, and as close neighbors, this cold animosity frequently boiled over into war with only a slight push. So when the Stove Tops made known their move against the Tea Pot people, the Ovens quickly invaded. However, years of war had prepared the Stove Tops for battle at any point. So they were, in a heated and prolonged battle, able to defend themselves from the sudden attack. Yet their forces were evenly matched by the Ovens, so they were unable to send aid that the Kettles so desperately needed.
Therefore, the leader of the Stove-Tops, Bunsen Burned, sent a representative from his people to seek allies among the other nations. This representative was named Fire, and was well liked among most nations, and his knowledge of the world was very great. He first went to the land of the Microwaves to plead help from their leader Autoclave; in the first few days, negotiations seemed like they would succeed, but on the fourth day, after a long and slightly heated debate over the cost of the venture, Fire received a grim message from a secret helper in the court. The message warned Fire that Autoclave was secretly a Oven sympathizer, and was planning on turning over Fire to their army, which was posed just outside the Microwave people's borders.
Disturbed by this news, Fire planned his escape - in the dead of night, he used bed-sheets to escape from his high guest tower, and ran through the streets to the exit in disguise. He then hid in the woods until morning came and his light would not shine so brightly and he was able to slip past the Oven army.
Fire next planned on going to the people of the Boiler. It was a risky move, as the boilers had been once close friends of the Oven. Yet recent years had driven their peoples apart, and the Boilers had since declared themselves neutral. That was the plan...
In a unexpected storm, Fire found himself lost in on a cold and winding road through the mountains. Long-story-short, he did not arrive in Boiler Territory, but instead in the territory of the Refrigerator. Fire was not welcome there in the least - as a people of the cold, the refrigerator people hated fire, and considered his presence among them an abomination. They threw him into the tallest prison in the land, in the castle of Emperor Ice Cube. There he would have remained, if not for an ironic piece of luck. A representative from the Tea people appeared in Court, begging help from the Refrigerators. As it had turned out, the Tea Lord had made a grave mistake, and had attempted to wage war with the lands of Coffee. It had been a bitter and complete failure, with the Coffee people smashing the Tea Lord's army.
Now, before this, the tea-pots and the refrigerator had had no small dislike for the other. The Tea Pots, while not directly connected to the Oven people or Stove Tops, still was considered by many to be a people of the heat. This distinction was made known by many, none more so than the warrior class of the frigged north, the Sushi chefs. The sushi chefs were masters of the ice, and had a solemn vow against the hot arts. They made up a strong part of the Emperors army, and wielded no small influence among the court. Yet many others were willing to believe, especially after the young child of the Tea-Pot ambassador was brought to the rulers: Iced Tea.
Fire heard about this, and shouted day and night that the tea people were not to be trusted. All through the negotiations, his cries were heard, until finally Emperor Ice Cube was tired of the noise, and he brought Fire down from his prison to say his part.
Fire delivered a stirring speech against the tea people, telling of their current alliance with the Oven people, and their unprovoked violence against otherwise peaceful nations. He played especially to the will of the Sushi chefs, and the fear of aligning themselves with such a foreign people. It worked.
Fire didn't end up making a true alliance with the refrigerator people, but he also made sure that the Tea Pots didn't either. It seemed like it was a perfect stalemate, until there was the accident. The young child of the Tea ambassador, Iced Tea, fell from his tower to his death a hundred feet below. The Emperor swore it was an accident, but there was a trail of cold air heading into the child's room, and signs of a struggle taking place. It was a sign of war.
It was yet another slaughter, with the people of the refrigerator allying themselves with not only the Stove Tops and Kettles, but also with the people of Coffee, and their neighbor Freezer; the Tea Lord found himself hopelessly outnumbered. Especially ferocious were the Sushi Chefs of the North, who had taken special offense when the Tea people killed on of them as "justice" for the young Iced Tea. There was a battle upon the plains of Kitchen, where the world witnessed the decimation of the Tea Pots. In later years, it could almost have been considered genocide, as the killing continued even after what many would have considered surrender.
Mere years later, the truth was found out. Iced Tea had been killed after all, a rouge Sushi chef had climbed through the window, and had killed Tea before he had ever left the window. The Chefs were suddenly seen as the most dishonorable peoples in the land - child killers and genociders. In shame, the entire order was disbanded, with many becoming wayward journeymen and mercenaries. A large part sought to seek forgiveness from the Tea Pot people, and begged the now old Tea Lord for forgiveness. Having become wise in his old age, he was willing to forgive the group, making but one condition. They must abandon their ways of war, and become guardians of the people; Defenders rather than attackers. They agreed, and to further erase their past, they changed their colors from their previous war paints to light, pastel colors, in order to make themselves seem kind and welcoming rather than fierce.
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So, when you said, "I don't want to be a sushi chef anymore. I wish to spend the rest of my life as a quaintly colored teapot," Injustrial, that's how I instantly knew of your noble reference to history. It is nice to know that other such historical scholars are on this forum. Have a nice Day.