The hugging/venting thread

[Conchetupony]

I have Autism Spectrum, and while it's really easy to try be PC about it all..this is common. People with Autism can be VERY annoying. A lot of the time they're not doing anything to annoy people on purpose - the screaming for example is a Stim. It's a way of coping with sensory overload by making your own sensory stimulation. I have Stims but not anything really obvious. He's probably sound sensative, so he makes his own noise to give himself some measure of control over the stimulation. It can be fucking hard to deal with though, there is no way of sugar coating that. But one thing that works with some kids is to give them an mp3 player to listen to when they're feeling overwhelmed by unfamiliar sounds.

And thank you. She* got things sorted out, luckily.

I see. I've known about stims - parents have explained it to me - but didn't know them as a way of controlling stimulation. Thanks for clearing that up, feeling kinda silly for making such a big deal about it now. xP

Glad your friend's fine c:

[Freewave]

And when I finally decide to tell my mom about it, she passes it off as stupid. Something along the lines of "why does it bother you that much, that's stupid", she said.

I'm seriously considering leaving this house as soon as the opportunity arises - even when my parents are offering to pay my uni, and after they've done so much for me to express my creativity by buying equipment and instruments I needed - because of shit like this.

I see. I've known about stims - parents have explained it to me - but didn't know them as a way of controlling stimulation. Thanks for clearing that up, feeling kinda silly for making such a big deal about it now. xP

I'm hoping in hindsight that your mom's comments weren't supposed to be dismissive of your feelings as much trying to communicate that you were making too big a deal about something that you don't have direct control over. Parents don't always get the words right but they often are trying to convey something. Just try to give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes and read between the lines.

[Facade]

i just told off a friend who has been treating me somewhat poorly

[Conchetupony]

I'm hoping in hindsight that your mom's comments weren't supposed to be dismissive of your feelings as much trying to communicate that you were making too big a deal about something that you don't have direct control over. Parents don't always get the words right but they often are trying to convey something. Just try to give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes and read between the lines.

This was most likely the case, yeah. Luckily, I haven't gotten back aggressively over how I interpreted it. Will keep this in mind, thank you c:

i just told off a friend who has been treating me somewhat poorly

These people are no friends. Prefer few good friends over loads of crap ones c:

[Magnitude Zero]

i just told off a friend who has been treating me somewhat poorly

These people are no friends. Prefer few good friends over loads of crap ones c:

You know, that's real easy to say from the outside looking in. Having been in a similar situation as Facade I can tell you it's not always that simple. A friend of mine was going through a rough patch and was taking it out on everyone around him. I confronted him about it, he told me what's up, now he knows he can come to me and talk about his problems in a healthy way instead of angsting it out.

My point is, just because someone happens to be acting like a piece of shit doesn't mean they are a piece of shit. Based on Facade's post I'd be willing to bet that's the case. If that's true, then all of my hugs, man. I hope you work things out with your friend.

[Conchetupony]

You know, that's real easy to say from the outside looking in. Having been in a similar situation as Facade I can tell you it's not always that simple. A friend of mine was going through a rough patch and was taking it out on everyone around him. I confronted him about it, he told me what's up, now he knows he can come to me and talk about his problems in a healthy way instead of angsting it out.

My point is, just because someone happens to be acting like a piece of shit doesn't mean they are a piece of shit. Based on Facade's post I'd be willing to bet that's the case. If that's true, then all of my hugs, man. I hope you work things out with your friend.

Ah, I kinda assumed there was no reason behind Facade's friend treating him bad. I actually totally pissed off one (then) friend of mine because I assumed the same. :<

[Facade]

uuuhhhhhh

i cant stand it anymore... everything i do... everyone i talk to.... i cant even make music anymore because every time i open my DAW i get so filled with anger i just want to kill something...

im getting filled with rage and its slowly turning into depression and i don't know how to stop it... well i do... but i couldn't....

[Freewave]

Facade you've been having more battles with making music then anyone i know. You've left and come back to the forum after a pretty hefty haitus. Do you feel bits of joy inbetween lows or is it pretty constant stream of woe? Does NOT making music make you feel better or does that worsen the problem? I really want you to discover the balance of highs and lows but i have a feeling there's something bigger underneath the surface contributing to your problems and i'd need to know more about that to recommend any steps....

[S.P.P]

So my hallucinations have been getting much, much worse recently. I'll quite often wake up to (or simply have if I'm still awake) the most terrifying things fucking everywhere at 3am. Anyone who has played a game from the Dead Space series, will know how awful Necromorphs are (if not google it), and this is what plagues me all the time. I see them when its not night sometimes but that's not as bad as the nighttime attacks. I also still can't get these fucking voices out of my head and its driving me over the edge. There are weird symbols on walls and houses and shit; some Cyrillic, some Greek, some of which I think aren't even actual symbols. Its getting to the point where in scared to even leave the house sometimes. The worst part is that my parents don't know any of it, my best friend is kinda prejudiced against crazy people, and my brother who knows a tiny amount of what's going on torments me relentlessly.

I'm sorry for clogging up the thread with stupid shit but I need to get it out seeing as I can't talk to anyone and refuse to see another fucking psychiatrist (this would be the 6th one).

Ok, imma stop writing now before I freak and decide to delete the whole post..

[Captain Ironhelm]

. The worst part is that my parents don't know any of it, my best friend is kinda prejudiced against crazy people, and my brother who knows a tiny amount of what's going on torments me relentlessly.

you need to let your parents know what is going on. They are the people in your life that (should) care most about you. There is no shame in getting help when you are in need.

[Callenby]

. The worst part is that my parents don't know any of it, my best friend is kinda prejudiced against crazy people, and my brother who knows a tiny amount of what's going on torments me relentlessly.

you need to let your parents know what is going on. They are the people in your life that (should) care most about you. There is no shame in getting help when you are in need.

Exactly. The important thing is to get the help you need, and damn what other people might think about it.

[topitmunkeydog]

You should try and translate the Greek/Cyrillic. I'm not joking, it might be good to know why this specifically is coming from your subconscious. I do hope it gets better though! :3

[Acsii]

So my hallucinations have been getting much, much worse recently. I'll quite often wake up to (or simply have if I'm still awake) the most terrifying things fucking everywhere at 3am. Anyone who has played a game from the Dead Space series, will know how awful Necromorphs are (if not google it), and this is what plagues me all the time. I see them when its not night sometimes but that's not as bad as the nighttime attacks. I also still can't get these fucking voices out of my head and its driving me over the edge. There are weird symbols on walls and houses and shit; some Cyrillic, some Greek, some of which I think aren't even actual symbols. Its getting to the point where in scared to even leave the house sometimes. The worst part is that my parents don't know any of it, my best friend is kinda prejudiced against crazy people, and my brother who knows a tiny amount of what's going on torments me relentlessly.

I'm sorry for clogging up the thread with stupid shit but I need to get it out seeing as I can't talk to anyone and refuse to see another fucking psychiatrist (this would be the 6th one).

Ok, imma stop writing now before I freak and decide to delete the whole post..

I'm really sorry... but all of those are symptoms of schizophrenia... you really need to talk to your parents ASAP...

[Alycs]

So my hallucinations have been getting much, much worse recently. I'll quite often wake up to (or simply have if I'm still awake) the most terrifying things fucking everywhere at 3am. Anyone who has played a game from the Dead Space series, will know how awful Necromorphs are (if not google it), and this is what plagues me all the time. I see them when its not night sometimes but that's not as bad as the nighttime attacks. I also still can't get these fucking voices out of my head and its driving me over the edge. There are weird symbols on walls and houses and shit; some Cyrillic, some Greek, some of which I think aren't even actual symbols. Its getting to the point where in scared to even leave the house sometimes. The worst part is that my parents don't know any of it, my best friend is kinda prejudiced against crazy people, and my brother who knows a tiny amount of what's going on torments me relentlessly.

I'm sorry for clogging up the thread with stupid shit but I need to get it out seeing as I can't talk to anyone and refuse to see another fucking psychiatrist (this would be the 6th one).

Ok, imma stop writing now before I freak and decide to delete the whole post..

Yeah, dude; before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I had a lot of those problems (mine were mostly audial, not visual, though) But you really should talk to your parents; and you should talk to a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. The psychiatrists are only going to help if your parents know, and will only give you meds or diagnose you if they are 100% sure. The psychologist will be the one to actually help you and your family along.

But seriously, I know exactly how you feel, and you really need to just tell your parents

[Facade]

Facade you've been having more battles with making music then anyone i know. You've left and come back to the forum after a pretty hefty haitus. Do you feel bits of joy inbetween lows or is it pretty constant stream of woe? Does NOT making music make you feel better or does that worsen the problem? I really want you to discover the balance of highs and lows but i have a feeling there's something bigger underneath the surface contributing to your problems and i'd need to know more about that to recommend any steps.... :(

un-less i have a break through on technique or something its always lows almost no highs ever

god i swear im gonna drink myself to death when i turn 21

[CaptainFluffatun]

So I'm registering for university classes and I'm stressed as all hell.

First thing of fuckery is that the highest you can place in math with the general test is pre-calc. I was advised to take the general test. I also took pre-calc in high school. So, against advisement, I took the advanced test, and now I've placed into the college equivalent of algebra 2. That makes me feel really dumb, but I guess it doesn't impede my intended major.

The next bit of fuckery is my intended major. I didn't audition for the music department in the spring because I can hardly sight-read. That was going to be my project this year. I'm probably going to have to take five years of college to get my degree in music composition. I'm just wondering... is that like, okay? Is that a thing? I guess I would be taking general university requirements all through this year, and then audition in the spring. I also guess that means my fifth and final year would be like only music classes because I'd have all my general requirements done.

IS THAT A THING? IS THAT OKAY? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE.

[Callenby]

IS THAT A THING? IS THAT OKAY? I'M FREAKING OUT HERE.

Hell yes it's a thing. I know people who took on an extra year in college. There's absolutely no shame in taking extra time (so long as you can afford it), especially if it's only due to scheduling/audition issues.

I've found that once you're in college no one really cares how long it takes you to finish school anymore. Some (like me) completely switch their majors halfway through so they'll often need another semester or year.

Don't worry about what you perceive to be expected of you. There's no one single, set way of obtaining a bachelor's degree. Some require four years, some require five. Master's degrees I've seen range between one and four. Doctorates can even take a decade! Besides, college is supposed to be about breaking molds and finding your own way. If your way happens to require more time then so be it. Don't rush just because you feel that you have to; it's a BS expectation. How much time you spent there doesn't matter nearly as much as how wisely you spent your time.

[CaptainFluffatun]

Holy crap thank you ;-;

[caprixsnare]

I failed my driving test. ):

[Viricide Filly]

This is a thread I will be posting in a lot now.
So, my tulpa (if you believe in those) made a joke about rape. Okay. Jokes about rape are made ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE. She thought it was okay. NOT HER FAULT. So, my "sister 4 lyfe" Acsii goes and fucking flips out on her, makes her cry and now she never wants to tell a joke again.
So, I yell at Acsii because that was seriously fucking uncalled for, so she leaves all my chats and deleted me on skype.
You're not my sister 4 lyfe. you rejected and left me for something that was completely unjustified on your part.

God damn I'm so angry that people can be that selfish as to not realise that yelling at an 11 year old, harmless tulpa for making a joke is NOT SOMETHING YOU DO. And you don't flip out over it and reject someone who held you SO CLOSE to their heart for SO LONG. I stuck up for you at every oppertunity, tried to talk to you when you were sad. You didn't do any of that to ME, did you?
She's really really upset me because of all this, and I'm not going to forgive her because apparently she will never forgive ME. FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT? Holy FUCK.

Anyway yeah I'm done, that's my vent.

[topitmunkeydog]

I'm so confused even after having looked up tulpa

[Conduit]

@topit They're split consciousnesses. Imagine have two people in one brain and you get the idea. If you had no physical body you would be a tulpa.

[Nine Volt]

@topit They're split consciousnesses. Imagine have two people in one brain and you get the idea. If you had no physical body you would be a tulpa.

Sounds quite dubious at best, dissociative personality disorder (I believe that's what they call it now) at worst.

[Acsii]

It's more like creating a gateway to your subconscious

[Nine Volt]

I'm really not convinced.
Fuck the character limit.