The hugging/venting thread

[Acsii]

I have basically no voice atm from too much singing and screaming :/

[KingTrollestia]

Alright time to rant. As a guy who has Assburgers, I just find it difficult for me to talk to people at all, IRL or online. Anytime I try and do a 1 one 1 conversation I can't get any traction going at all. I spend time on twitter a lot, hanging out with people I THINK are cool guys. I just don't know if its worth going on anymore, no one is talking to me, and I just hate being alone. I mean what's the fucking point? I just wanna talk to people and enjoy myself that's all I want.

[Pickslide1992]

Okay, it's almost 3 am here, and I feel depressed. Now let me explain fully:

I'm not much of an emotional man. I'm supposed to be what they call the "Strong, silent" type. In other words, a Big Macintosh by any other name. For a time, I thought I took that title a little too much to heart and stood strong while death started surrounding me. First my aunt died, then my grandmother, and finally one of my best friends killed himself by ODing on painkillers. During all of these, I didn't shed a single tear, not because I wanted to, not because I was appethetic, but because I felt that a strong person was needed and I was that strong person. I had to hold back my emotions.

Then came earlier today, I was rewatching the season finale and I wanted to cover at least one of the songs. I saw it once before and, nope, it didn't break me either, but in the midst of me rewatching the 3rd song, I broke down. This was not liquid pride, ladies and gentlemen, this was pure depression here. All three deaths just came back to me and I cried like a little girl. Even now I'm still suffering from the aftershock. Who knew that a song about a depressed unicorn would be the straw that broke the camel's back?

Which makes me wonder: In Augustine's Confessions, he questions why good theater is making the audience feel sympathy, "Suffering for yourself is misery, and suffering because someone else is suffering is empathy." He says this because the events that happen in a drama are supposed to reflect on things people have been through in life and felt misery, or another time felt misery but didn't express it, or in my case, the latter and the fact I hold many regrets, like maybe I take my life for granted at times and I don't give my parents/family/friends/church members love, or (In the song's case) I let them down, and Twilight singing about letting her friends down and them suffering from her mistake made me sob like, I don't know, a human.

This isn't a bad thing, no sir, but I wanted to share this because a minute long song was all it took for me to give in, and it's been tormenting me all day. My past demons and mistakes are taunting me, and I just need a hug. Luckily I have plushies already, but next time I'm at Wally World, Twilie is mine.

[Acsii]

I may as well be fucking unemployed as i haven't got a shift from my work in about a month

[Pseudo]

Okay, it's almost 3 am here, and I feel depressed. Now let me explain fully:

I'm not much of an emotional man. I'm supposed to be what they call the "Strong, silent" type. In other words, a Big Macintosh by any other name.

Then came earlier today, I was rewatching the season finale and I wanted to cover at least one of the songs. I saw it once before and, nope, it didn't break me either, but in the midst of me rewatching the 3rd song, I broke down. This was not liquid pride, ladies and gentlemen, this was pure depression here. All three deaths just came back to me and I cried like a little girl. Even now I'm still suffering from the aftershock. Who knew that a song about a depressed unicorn would be the straw that broke the camel's back?

This isn't a bad thing, no sir, but I wanted to share this because a minute long song was all it took for me to give in, and it's been tormenting me all day. My past demons and mistakes are taunting me, and I just need a hug.

I'll admit - I can relate to this a lot.

*hug*

I'm definitely a Big Mac in life, but I'm less social, so it's more a passively waiting for the perfect chance and just biding my energy. Especially in school, where I have been waiting to dominate my classmates in scaling, which has worked well and paid off.

Yet, when I heard this, I actually thought of what would happen to everyone else in these classes...

I'm not sure now, but I still think I'll stay 2.3 Std. Devs ahead of the guy behind me in maths.

[Pseudo]

I may as well be fucking unemployed as i haven't got a shift from my work in about a month

My work hasn't paid me in over 2 months...
Poor you. Really - I wish there was something we could all do to help, somehow.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Alright time to rant. As a guy who has Assburgers, I just find it difficult for me to talk to people at all, IRL or online. Anytime I try and do a 1 one 1 conversation I can't get any traction going at all. I spend time on twitter a lot, hanging out with people I THINK are cool guys. I just don't know if its worth going on anymore, no one is talking to me, and I just hate being alone. I mean what's the fucking point? I just wanna talk to people and enjoy myself that's all I want.

Dude, I get exactly where you're coming from. Just incase you didn't see my post I'll just give you a little rundown.

Diagnosed at 3, school wanted me on meds for a long time (my mum threw the pills out everytime), didn't have any solid friend group until I was 14 etc. I won't keep you any longer on my life experiences. To the point, I get being shy about talking to people, my best advice, learn how people 'act' around others and try to build your own patterns off of that. At first it'll be awkward as all fuck, it always is. Hell, it took me 10 years to get it down pat. But over time you build off what you observe and it stops being a copied behaviour, rather your own natural actions. But I was never told to 'observe nuerotypical behaviours' like a lot of AS people are; I just kinda did it anyway for no real reason.

I know it seems hopeless at times, but be patient, find people who already have some friends with aspergers, they'll probably understand and allow you to go about the conversation how you need to. I found that helped me a lot, and if you're still in school, special education teachers are usually very helpful (although I had to tell some of them multiple times that I was indeed smarter than my condition made me sound).

Good luck, man. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I promise you that I won't mind in the slightest.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Urg.
-deep breath-

I've lost my most important project because of a minor fuck up on my part. I'd been working on the dang thing for 35 hours when the file broke. Then I fished it out of the backups folder, and worked on it for a further 6 hours. A total of 41 hours on this project, then the backups file deletes it's recent contents for some reason. And I inadvertently saved it there. So yeah. 41 hours of work were now for nothing and I'm really pissed off at that.

someone please, for the love of god hug me :C

[Pickslide1992]

I know that feel, man. Once I was working on an epic project and I was almost finished, but my computer went "Lol, nope!" (Massive internet bear hug)

[KingTrollestia]

Alright time to rant. As a guy who has Assburgers, I just find it difficult for me to talk to people at all, IRL or online. Anytime I try and do a 1 one 1 conversation I can't get any traction going at all. I spend time on twitter a lot, hanging out with people I THINK are cool guys. I just don't know if its worth going on anymore, no one is talking to me, and I just hate being alone. I mean what's the fucking point? I just wanna talk to people and enjoy myself that's all I want.

Dude, I get exactly where you're coming from. Just incase you didn't see my post I'll just give you a little rundown.

Diagnosed at 3, school wanted me on meds for a long time (my mum threw the pills out everytime), didn't have any solid friend group until I was 14 etc. I won't keep you any longer on my life experiences. To the point, I get being shy about talking to people, my best advice, learn how people 'act' around others and try to build your own patterns off of that. At first it'll be awkward as all fuck, it always is. Hell, it took me 10 years to get it down pat. But over time you build off what you observe and it stops being a copied behaviour, rather your own natural actions. But I was never told to 'observe nuerotypical behaviours' like a lot of AS people are; I just kinda did it anyway for no real reason.

I know it seems hopeless at times, but be patient, find people who already have some friends with aspergers, they'll probably understand and allow you to go about the conversation how you need to. I found that helped me a lot, and if you're still in school, special education teachers are usually very helpful (although I had to tell some of them multiple times that I was indeed smarter than my condition made me sound).

Good luck, man. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I promise you that I won't mind in the slightest.

Thanks man I really and honestly appreciate that. Its good to find someone else out there with what I have it really is. I'll be sure to PM you soon man

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

No problem. Just don't worry if I take a little while to reply, timezones suck and I'm not always on ^^

on the subject of the lost project, I'm gonna try reverting my HDD back to try and retrieve it that way. I shouldn't lose too much work on it. I've put too much time into it to simply 'give up'.

EDIT: Nope. Didn't work at all. But I have a mostly finished version of it rendered, I can learn to be happy with that.

[Pickslide1992]

Call this paranoia, but I feel as though people don't really enjoy my company. As though people I hang around really don't like me being around them, but simply tolerate me and put on a mask and act like a friend. It feels fake, like if someone will wipe his brow after I walk off and say "Whew, I'm glad that freak is gone."

[Pickslide1992]

Also, I think I'll be using this thread a lot more, since I'm taking a break from my usual soapbox, Facebook (Because unwanted eyes are stalking me). That leads me to the problem I had before about people who I think are my friends acting as double agents, even my own family.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

I feel a bit like a lousy musician sometimes. Not much to say about that, really.

[Pickslide1992]

I feel a bit like a lousy musician sometimes. Not much to say about that, really.

If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's that you're your own worst critic. Believe me, I think my songs suck, but some people swear by them. Remember, you're the one who knows what goes into your production, not your audience. Have confidence in what you do, but that's easier said than done. My problem is just modesty.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

I feel a bit like a lousy musician sometimes. Not much to say about that, really.

If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's that you're your own worst critic. Believe me, I think my songs suck, but some people swear by them. Remember, you're the one who knows what goes into your production, not your audience. Have confidence in what you do, but that's easier said than done. My problem is just modesty.

Yeah, I can understand your angle. I kinda just listen to my stuff, thing "Yeah! I did pretty well" then "hmm...kinda average" then into "urg, badbadbad"

[nOk]

I feel a bit like a lousy musician sometimes. Not much to say about that, really.

If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's that you're your own worst critic. Believe me, I think my songs suck, but some people swear by them. Remember, you're the one who knows what goes into your production, not your audience. Have confidence in what you do, but that's easier said than done. My problem is just modesty.

Yeah, I can understand your angle. I kinda just listen to my stuff, thing "Yeah! I did pretty well" then "hmm...kinda average" then into "urg, badbadbad"

Being a musician for some time, I can relate to this feeling like nobody's business. The thing is, once you've heard what you've made, the fact you hear things that make you cringe implies that you've grown and gotten better in the process. While it once sounded good to you, you start to notice all the little things that you should've, or could've done better. This means progress, and better musical judgement. This angle of looking at it doesn't really help you though, and makes you feel bad. Instead of focusing on what sounds bad, pay attention to what you did well! You'll notice things that make you happy in the way it sounds, and you'll end up saying, "huh! I actually kinda like this!" It'll boost your confidence and pride in what you do. Try to get better at the things you suck at. I'm terrible at dubstep, but I made a couple dubstep tracks as practice. All in all I think they're awful, but I know my strengths and what I need to work on the most. I also did some cool things with soundclips which I like. Really, try to listen for what you like in your music, and work on the things that you don't think sound as nice. I speak with experience

Good luck 'n stuff!

[Acsii]

My family is so two dimensional that it's not even worth my energy making them realise

[topitmunkeydog]

Aww
please know that we are always here for you

[vladnuke]

Guys, we're all learning here, so it's all in the process. You just gotta make sure that what you're doing is good for you, and is helping you progress as a musician, so challenge yourself.

[itroitnyah]

I didn't get the job that I had interviewed for And it was so promising too!

[Nine Volt]

That sucks man, better luck next time *hugs*

I feel like a dick now. Basically, I threw a shitstorm over a new guy's dubstep thread and everyone (rightfully) got mad at me for it.

I also feel like I really hurt my (admittedly already low) image in the eyes of the Almighty Iceberg.

Fuck, today's just not my day, is it?

And hugs for all of you out there, especially those who have problems that actually matter.

[Magnitude Zero]

And hugs for all of you out there, especially those who have problems that actually matter.

Aww, don't be like that. Just because some problems are more severe doesn't mean yours don't exist. Don't beat yourself up because you "could be worse" - feeling bad for feeling bad is pretty counterproductive, after all.

As for the drama in the dubstep thread, I can totally relate to overreacting about stuff like that. I can't tell you how many times I've lost my shit over something stupid and frivolous and made myself look like an ass in pretty much the same way you did (no offense ). It's so easy to see something that seems so obvious to you and absolutely need to correct it, but sometimes you need to take a second to calm down and make sure you're doing so constructively. You made a silly mistake. Everyone does. We're human. It's how we learn.

[Nine Volt]

I... just... thank you for understanding why I was mad, Mag *hugs so hard*
It seemed like nobody actually got why I flipped a tit over that...

And yeah, I made myself look like a pretty big jackass, didn't I

[Pickslide1992]

I... just... thank you for understanding why I was mad, Mag *hugs so hard*
It seemed like nobody actually got why I flipped a tit over that...

And yeah, I made myself look like a pretty big jackass, didn't I

No need to feel bad, man, we all flip our shit over something stupid all the time. Take me for instance, I'm normally a nice guy, but computer problems (And lag in video games) turn me into a monster straight out of Dante's Inferno. Relax, guy, you're among friends! Just have some friends you can turn to for help, and coming here is the first step.