<Pony><Orchestral> Kindness

[TheSkullX2]

Decided to write some nice, peaceful orchestra piece.

https://soundcloud.com/theskullx2/kindness

[Thunder Dash]

Hmmm, to be honest...I think this piece is a little too fast for Fluttershy. Maybe slow it down and add more longer notes, especially in the flutes. I really don't think a bassoon goes with Fluttershy's personality, except for short staccato. Before I listened to this piece, I was thinking it was going to be a slow piece. This is because I believe that pony music must reflect the personalities of ponies.

I give you kudos on using classical to describe Fluttershy's element. The thing that sort of threw it off was the amount of activity that each instrument was exercising. You had the violins doing 16th runs at some parts and holding notes at other parts. It's a too sporadic for Fluttershy's personality. If you are going to make articulation changes like that, spread them out evenly and don't have them so close together. In addition, the 16th notes sort of took away from the piece. If you are going to use notes less than an 8th note when making a song for Fluttershy, do it in a manner that allows for expression and a freer style. Make the instruments go rubato, which can then open doors for great musical exploration of Fluttershy's personality. This way, it gives the piece more depth and makes it closer to Fluttershy's personality.

In terms of the progressions, it is sort of repetative, and not once did I hear a V (five) chord in there, and unfortunately, that raises a red flag. In the beginning of the piece, you were going from the I (1, root) to the vi (6th, relative minor to the I). To make this phrase work better and lead into the next, here's a progression you could do

I-vi-IV-V-I

This means for the sections between 0:00 and 0:09 and other similar sections, you could employ this progression. The I chord should take the first bar, the vi chord should take the second, like you had it. The IV chord should take the first two beats of the 3rd bar and the V chord the last two beats of the 3rd bar. Finally the I chord should take the entire 4th bar. This marks the end of the first phrase. This same progression should be repeated in the section when the violins come in. You just need to change the last few runs the violins do.

You're missing a transition from the first 2 phrases to the phrase where the wind instruments hold chord notes and the violins have the melody. You use a transition that ends in a IV chord, because the ii chord, which the 3rd phrase (one described above) starts on, is interchangable with the IV chord. I see you were going back and forth from the ii chord and the IV.

Overall, I feel this piece needs a lot of work. I can help you work it if you'd like me to, because there is just so much that could be done with this piece. Keep trying and you'll get it.

[Totalspark]

I have to disagree, and I'm not saying your advice is bad. But, I honestly think that the fast trills could be recognized as birds flitting bout Fluttershy's head, in a kind of Disney-esque fashion.

[Thunder Dash]

I have to disagree, and I'm not saying your advice is bad. But, I honestly think that the fast trills could be recognized as birds flitting bout Fluttershy's head, in a kind of Disney-esque fashion.

The trills are...well...okay...but I see where you're going.