<Non-pony><Original><Metalcore>Liaison

[TheAljavis]

So I made an "Avdenture Time" inspired song called Liaison, that's regarding to the Marceline x Bubblegum shipping being "canon". And because its stated that they dated before, its gonna be about how they broke up. I spent MONTHS on this song, making sure its as good as I can possibly make it, so I wanna see if you guys feel that I've actually done good job on it and give CRITICAL feedback on anything that feels off or anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyFXeQjjO_Y

[EpiPony]

Hey man! I'm just gonna write this as i go along to the song.

The intro is really great IMO. The cleans are bright (sound out of tune though, but it works well for this part) and the ambient instrument in the back fills everything up nicely. Like, makes it sound way less...empty or something (if you get what i mean). I really like it

The drums and heavy guitars come in and i'm thrown completely off though. The things that stick out most are the kick drum and the rhythm guitars.

The kick drum is WAAAYYY overpowering, in all the wrong places. Like, you should probably EQ it differently (in metalcore scooping out some mids around 500Hz, boosting the click at around 7kHz, and maybe add a little thump at about 60Hz or so should work. Of course change to taste and to the sound of the kick itself. All kicks are different haha). Compress it slightly more, with not too fast attack (1ms or so) and slow release (about 100ms). maybe saturate it a bit if you want a more gritty (?) kick though. Also dial it back. It's definately too overpowering.
The rest of the drums are barely audible to me. I can barely hear the cymbals and snare. You can boost those a little more haha.

The rhythm guitar tone is still real fuzzy, A few songs before this I already commented some cures (amp sims and cabinet IR's) for that so i'm not gonna go into that anymore. What i think can work miracles though is dial the gain back. A lot. Like seriously, you can get a great metalcore ('Djent'?) tone with the gain at like 3-4 on a high-gain/lead channel, with a booster up front (Tubescreamer or other overdrive with drive at 0. not higher than 1. set volume higher if necessary).
For leads, gain up high can work well though, but it's a big don't on rhythms.

Vocals sound good, don't really have any comments on those. Maybe edit out the breathing inbetween lines would make them sound a little better (but they are already pretty cool).

The bridge kinda thingie at the 4 minute mark is real cool again, i really dig that slightly detuned clean sound. Vocals are once again pretty sweet, though it sounds like you're running out of breath too soon. No cure i got for ya on that though haha. There's also a pretty annoying whistling sound at like 4:31 or so.

The song itself is structured pretty properly. It's pretty easy to listen through, if it weren't for the guitars and kick.

Okay that was it, i hope you can use some if not all of this advice to your advantage. I really urge you to work on the guitars and kick, your stuff'd be mad awesome if it weren't for those IMO.

Cheers!